Dreaming in Gold
The warm calm before the close of day2 total reviews
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hi Hanni!
I see you are new to FanStory! I am somewhat new myself, having started at the beginning of September! Welcome, and I hope you decide to stay.
---I love this short poem. The very first line shows that you use poetic conventions very well!
---"I breathe your warmth" --The combination of breathing and a temperature paints a very surreal image of your narrator's feeling toward the subject.
---I am going to assume that the subject here is the sun, but I'm glad you left it ambiguous.
---The third line is especially evocative with the personification of "grasses" dancing.
Very good job! Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
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Hi Hanni!
I see you are new to FanStory! I am somewhat new myself, having started at the beginning of September! Welcome, and I hope you decide to stay.
---I love this short poem. The very first line shows that you use poetic conventions very well!
---"I breathe your warmth" --The combination of breathing and a temperature paints a very surreal image of your narrator's feeling toward the subject.
---I am going to assume that the subject here is the sun, but I'm glad you left it ambiguous.
---The third line is especially evocative with the personification of "grasses" dancing.
Very good job! Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A praise of someone else's aura here as we enjoy the company of someone we love, an unusual and inventive post for the contest and I wish you luck, love Dolly x
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A praise of someone else's aura here as we enjoy the company of someone we love, an unusual and inventive post for the contest and I wish you luck, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024