Act Of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Call Me"Dawn Of Chaos
4 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi TPAC
This free verse poem seems like a prayer for help to find the strength to help ease the world's problems. Whatever they may be. Maybe the nap will help in maintaining the strength. We all need to work together to stop evil.
I think you should break the second line at army to make it flow better.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the day.
Joan
P S I hope to see your first post soon. You will learn a lot here and maybe make some new friends.
I would like you to know that with the help and encouragement of fellow Fanstorians, I have
published my first book titled, "The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry" which
is available on Amazon.com. There is a link to it at the bottom of my profile page. I most porbably
would never have had the courage to do this without their aid.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2025
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Hi TPAC
This free verse poem seems like a prayer for help to find the strength to help ease the world's problems. Whatever they may be. Maybe the nap will help in maintaining the strength. We all need to work together to stop evil.
I think you should break the second line at army to make it flow better.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the day.
Joan
P S I hope to see your first post soon. You will learn a lot here and maybe make some new friends.
I would like you to know that with the help and encouragement of fellow Fanstorians, I have
published my first book titled, "The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry" which
is available on Amazon.com. There is a link to it at the bottom of my profile page. I most porbably
would never have had the courage to do this without their aid.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2025
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Thanks for that shout. I'm under revisions of all my writes: appreciating your remarks. I know those things said are true.
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You're welcome, TPAC
Joan
Comment from lyenochka
I like your prayer poem done as free verse. We are always in some sort of spiritual battle but greater is the Spirit within us than he that is in the world.
One suggestion is to reformat your poem and instead of using commas put the phrases in a new line so it looks more like a poem than prose. For example:
Let me help,
assisting,
protecting of all right,
wanting facts to aid;
silencing of those evil did deeds that's bad.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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I like your prayer poem done as free verse. We are always in some sort of spiritual battle but greater is the Spirit within us than he that is in the world.
One suggestion is to reformat your poem and instead of using commas put the phrases in a new line so it looks more like a poem than prose. For example:
Let me help,
assisting,
protecting of all right,
wanting facts to aid;
silencing of those evil did deeds that's bad.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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Thank you for that shout. I,ve been focusing on a coherent statement. Your suggestion will aid its appeal. Thanking you for all: you did. I appreciate it.
Comment from Harambe is ur Daddy
I found this post creative, and also rather difficult to read and understand. I suspect your prose is somewhat incomprehensible to native English speakers, and if you speak other languages in which you are more fluent, I'm curious which ones you speak in order to understand better where your style of writing is coming from. Reducing the number of commas might add some clarity.
There is also a typo in your subtitle, likely caused by saving a curved quote. The site can only render these in the advanced editor. Try just writing it as a straight quote, like this: "When it's Time"
Awake me <= write as "awaken"
Thanks for the read,
🦍
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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I found this post creative, and also rather difficult to read and understand. I suspect your prose is somewhat incomprehensible to native English speakers, and if you speak other languages in which you are more fluent, I'm curious which ones you speak in order to understand better where your style of writing is coming from. Reducing the number of commas might add some clarity.
There is also a typo in your subtitle, likely caused by saving a curved quote. The site can only render these in the advanced editor. Try just writing it as a straight quote, like this: "When it's Time"
Awake me <= write as "awaken"
Thanks for the read,
🦍
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Ignorance, mostly of the proper English conveyance. Graduated high school in two years. I suffered because of that change. This fact has been know since my first post. Appreciate your generous rate, despite grammar flaws. I will try to do better. Five years trying. At 70
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was a moving and inspiring poem. For me it captures the idea of seeking truth in a world that is filled with challenges. I especially liked when you show your desire to assist and protect while asking for the strength to fulfill this mission. Your poem shares a clear sense of purpose and determination.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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I thought this was a moving and inspiring poem. For me it captures the idea of seeking truth in a world that is filled with challenges. I especially liked when you show your desire to assist and protect while asking for the strength to fulfill this mission. Your poem shares a clear sense of purpose and determination.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2024
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Glad certain aspects, detailed within this particular write, found things of interests to you. Thanking you for your generous rate and 🙏 views.
