Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Missteps (Rachelle)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
30 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
The little girl Rabekah 's out burst is natural and is very touching.. The way the post ended is of course funny I could imagine that scene . Amish are interesting .I am waiting to know more about them
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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The little girl Rabekah 's out burst is natural and is very touching.. The way the post ended is of course funny I could imagine that scene . Amish are interesting .I am waiting to know more about them
Comment Written 17-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2024
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I discovered a really good murder mystery/police series a couple years ago by Linda Castillo that features, as its main character, a police chief who was formerly Amish and who now works in an Amish community. I learned so much from it. Pus, here in Upstate NY, there's a big Mennonite community one county over, so I learned from them, as well. But I agree with you: a very interesting group, indeed. So hard working and trusting.
Anyway, thank you for your lovely review!! xoxo
Comment from Neonewman
Ha! Ha! I read Gretchen's first and found it quite funny. Then I read yours, and there was a tragedy, and I felt sorry for the youngsters for losing their Maam. Then the mud, laughter, and goats, well, you know the rest, lol. These stories are great fun.
God bless,
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Ha! Ha! I read Gretchen's first and found it quite funny. Then I read yours, and there was a tragedy, and I felt sorry for the youngsters for losing their Maam. Then the mud, laughter, and goats, well, you know the rest, lol. These stories are great fun.
God bless,
Steve
Comment Written 16-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2024
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Thank you! Very much appreciated!
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My pleasure, of course.
Comment from pome lover
well, Mz Rachelle, what fun to write this funny story. I have to say, though, my first reaction to "stiletto heels" was do you really wear them? I know you're a bunch younger than I but I gave up on them years ago. If you do, however, I'm "proud as punch" as we southerners used to say.
Again, congratulations on All Time Best! Good goin'.
Now to read Gretchen's version. I'll have to see if I can find somebody to do this with. What a blast!
PS, All your clothes, gone???? and you could laugh? You're a better man than I, Gunga Din! 'Course, crying wouldn't help, I dare say. Yes, I dare.
Katharine
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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well, Mz Rachelle, what fun to write this funny story. I have to say, though, my first reaction to "stiletto heels" was do you really wear them? I know you're a bunch younger than I but I gave up on them years ago. If you do, however, I'm "proud as punch" as we southerners used to say.
Again, congratulations on All Time Best! Good goin'.
Now to read Gretchen's version. I'll have to see if I can find somebody to do this with. What a blast!
PS, All your clothes, gone???? and you could laugh? You're a better man than I, Gunga Din! 'Course, crying wouldn't help, I dare say. Yes, I dare.
Katharine
Comment Written 14-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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I have the kind of sense of humor that appreciates the absurd in life. So I would SOOO totally laugh if I saw goats carting my clothes to the far reaches of their galaxy. And I'm quite adaptable...that's from the teaching gene, don'tcha know.
And, yes, I ABSOLUTELY wear stilettos - every day, in fact! And oh, do I have a COLLECTION, Katharine!! Imelda Marcos has NOTHING on me!! And I also have lots and lots of leopard. Your clothes have to be fun in this life; otherwise, what the heck is their purpose?!!
Thanks for the warm and wonderful review and also for the additional *!!! xoxoxo
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If you all publish this masterpiece, You really ought to have a picture of you in Amish attire and the black boots with, of course, your hair up in corn cob "curlers!" he he he. That picture would sell the book, right there.
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But, Katharine, how could I ever go out into the Real World ever again?!!
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you could have a before and after. :)
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yes!! There's an idea!! lol
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Trust you to add a pratfall. This is going along superbly. The writing is glorious I am considering doing this also. I wonder what if someone's writing doesn't fit in with my vision for the story? Meaning, instead of going from A-b he goes from A-m! Advice?
Karen
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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Trust you to add a pratfall. This is going along superbly. The writing is glorious I am considering doing this also. I wonder what if someone's writing doesn't fit in with my vision for the story? Meaning, instead of going from A-b he goes from A-m! Advice?
Karen
Comment Written 14-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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You have to be with someone whose writing you like and whose PERSONALITY meshes with your own. Someone who's good at being open and creative with what could happen, and willing to go the the flow and take chances. Gretchen and I are very compatible, even though our personality styles are different. We are both adaptable and fun, and we encourage the other and really, deep-down LIKE and RESPECT the other. There's no divas here. We're in the harness TOGETHER. We don't say things like, "Well, I want..." Instead, we say, "How about if..." and each of us has veto power. For us, it works, but I sort of think we may be the exception rather than the rule. We're about the STORY, not who had the idea.
Comment from Jessica Wheeler
Haha!!
I just got caught up and am eagerly awaiting more.
You are both funny- I mean REALLY funny- and bounce off of one another so well. There is this banter maintained, even through separate perspectives, that is so natural. I'm loving it!
Favorite part:
"As I leave terra firma, I scream like a mountain yodeler..."
That is hysterical, lol. Very well done!
Xoxo
Jess
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Haha!!
I just got caught up and am eagerly awaiting more.
You are both funny- I mean REALLY funny- and bounce off of one another so well. There is this banter maintained, even through separate perspectives, that is so natural. I'm loving it!
Favorite part:
"As I leave terra firma, I scream like a mountain yodeler..."
That is hysterical, lol. Very well done!
Xoxo
Jess
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2024
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Thank you, Jess; I always look so forward to your warm and understanding reviews. You always "get" me (and, in this case, Gretchen.) We've formed the nicest bond through the writing of this, she and I. Stay tuned, though; you'll be having a cameo appearance soon!!
xoxoxo
Comment from Bill Schott
So funny and deep, with the tension of the revelation of recent death, the Amish tendency to be private, and the almost welcome storm arrival that turns everything into a community survival tale. Owe you a six for sure.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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So funny and deep, with the tension of the revelation of recent death, the Amish tendency to be private, and the almost welcome storm arrival that turns everything into a community survival tale. Owe you a six for sure.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2024
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This review is fabulous. You owe me nothing; you've given me exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for this very affirming review. xoxo
Comment from Michele Harber
As usual, this is told with wit, self-deprecation and charm. Having been in Amish country many times, I have to wonder if they would have been so talkative with the "English," but I have no doubt they'd be kind.
You definitely got the goats right. One actually ate a nametag right off my daughter's shirt on a class trip. And I don't doubt for a second that your hat was the horse's "meal of his dreams."
Not surprisingly, your use of similes ("pitch into the air like an acrobat in the center ring of the Barnum and Bailey tent," "scream like a mountain yodeler") is wonderful.
Something's been bothering me about the story, though, and I just now realized what. After reading five chapters (three of yours, two of Gretchen's), I still don't know what the story is about, where it's headed or, more basically, its genre. Am I reading a murder mystery, a detective story (figuring out if there's more to the parents' death), or is this just "a day in the life"? Without that information, I don't know what to look forward to, i.e., gathering clues, finding out some secret about the Amish family, or just a nice dinner at an Amish home. I think I need to know the basic direction in which the story is headed. Otherwise, it's just a collection of humorous short stories that take place in an Amish town.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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As usual, this is told with wit, self-deprecation and charm. Having been in Amish country many times, I have to wonder if they would have been so talkative with the "English," but I have no doubt they'd be kind.
You definitely got the goats right. One actually ate a nametag right off my daughter's shirt on a class trip. And I don't doubt for a second that your hat was the horse's "meal of his dreams."
Not surprisingly, your use of similes ("pitch into the air like an acrobat in the center ring of the Barnum and Bailey tent," "scream like a mountain yodeler") is wonderful.
Something's been bothering me about the story, though, and I just now realized what. After reading five chapters (three of yours, two of Gretchen's), I still don't know what the story is about, where it's headed or, more basically, its genre. Am I reading a murder mystery, a detective story (figuring out if there's more to the parents' death), or is this just "a day in the life"? Without that information, I don't know what to look forward to, i.e., gathering clues, finding out some secret about the Amish family, or just a nice dinner at an Amish home. I think I need to know the basic direction in which the story is headed. Otherwise, it's just a collection of humorous short stories that take place in an Amish town.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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I really appreciate this assessment. And I swear there is a point. It is about how, with caring and respect - and humor - both cultures change each other ever so subtly and both of them are enhanced.
I am on the threshold of discovering Lea's gorgeous singing voice that she (and the boys) inherited from their ma'am, who was the choir director @ their church. Also, Rebekah is sixteen - old enough for Rumspringa. That will be factoring in.
And I'm learning the value of simplicity and humility in the next chapter...traits I could sorely use.
Gretchen's going to help Hannah with something special, too.
As far as what would be shared with an Englisher, because they're so young and vulnerable and looking at someone who resembles their ma'am, they stepped outside of their usual behavior. The boys did try to curtail their sister at first, but tgen when I showed such compassion for her, they acquiesced. Amish or not, they're teens and trying to grapple with an enormous loss.
Thank you, though, for addressing this and giving that viewpoint because - as usual!!- it's helpful and spot on!
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You're welcome. I'd be useless as a reviewer, proofreader or editor if I weren't honest.
Thanks for giving me the lowdown on what's coming up. ("Lowdown" and "coming up." Apparently, I can't even avoid wordplay in replies to replies!) I'm sure everything you've planned will be well-written and interesting. I guess what I was missing was the "tease" that makes the reader desperately want to get to the next chapter.
As far as how much an Amish teen might say to an English person, that's just my assumption based on several trips to Lancaster, and having watched "Breaking Amish." That, of course, makes me an expert--just as watching "9-1-1" makes me a lifesaving expert. I'm sure I'll be your first call should you ever be in a life-threatening situation.
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Oh, yes!! Absolutely!
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Glad my vast medical knowledge can help. If you ever suffer a life-threatening injury, I'll be there with the chicken soup.
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That's my remedy for everything, too. I think we should suggest to The Powers That Be that they keep a supply on hand in every ambulance.
Manichevitz now carries it in gluten-free (I have Celiac's) so what a perk!! I can still remain healthy. Phew. It actually tastes REALLY good! The matzoballs turn out very fluffy and light.
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I had no idea you had Celiac's. We recently entertained a 14-year-old cousin with Celiac's and his dad. The dad actually had a list from a Celiac's organization of restaurants, even bagel stores, in NYC that were either totally gluten-free, or had separate gluten-free kitchens. It introduced us to a few places we might never have tried otherwise.
By the way, maybe we should suggest our chicken soup idea to Hatzalah ambulance services. They would understand!
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Yesssss!!
Comment from Jim Wile
This chapter was a little disconcerting for me for a couple of reasons. I enjoyed the humor very much and therefore found it jarring to hear of the recent tragedy within the Amish family. In a novel that has been extremely funny so far from both you and Gretchen, this just seemed out of place to me. It was difficult to feel the humor of your fall in the mud, and it seemed incongruous for the family to be laughing hysterically after relating that heart-rending tale. Perhaps that is realistic and what it took to snap everyone out of the sadness of the story they just related, but in a novel that's been nothing but funny so far, that whole part of the story just seemed out of place.
The other thing is sort of minor, but there was some inconsistency of external circumstances, not just POV, between your and Gretchen's chapter in that, in yours, it had started to pour, and in hers, it seemed like it hadn't yet. It would be better, I think, for you both to agree on the same set of facts and differ only in interpretations.
All the same, an enjoyable chapter with some very funny parts.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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This chapter was a little disconcerting for me for a couple of reasons. I enjoyed the humor very much and therefore found it jarring to hear of the recent tragedy within the Amish family. In a novel that has been extremely funny so far from both you and Gretchen, this just seemed out of place to me. It was difficult to feel the humor of your fall in the mud, and it seemed incongruous for the family to be laughing hysterically after relating that heart-rending tale. Perhaps that is realistic and what it took to snap everyone out of the sadness of the story they just related, but in a novel that's been nothing but funny so far, that whole part of the story just seemed out of place.
The other thing is sort of minor, but there was some inconsistency of external circumstances, not just POV, between your and Gretchen's chapter in that, in yours, it had started to pour, and in hers, it seemed like it hadn't yet. It would be better, I think, for you both to agree on the same set of facts and differ only in interpretations.
All the same, an enjoyable chapter with some very funny parts.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2024
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Thank you! That is exactly the kind of feedback I'm looking for. Very much appreciated. xoxox
Comment from T B Botts
OK Rachelle,
the two of you have really come up with a winning combination here. I love the descriptions you use. You have a hemp bag? Can you take it apart and smoke it in an emergency?
Goats can be such a pain in the butt. We had them out at the farm and they came waltzing past my house and ate my dinner plate dahlia that was getting ready to bloom. There must not have been any Billys in the group or you would have had even more of an unforgettable experience.
How tragic for those kids to lose their parents in such an unpleasant situation. I'm really hooked on this story gal. Well done!
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024
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OK Rachelle,
the two of you have really come up with a winning combination here. I love the descriptions you use. You have a hemp bag? Can you take it apart and smoke it in an emergency?
Goats can be such a pain in the butt. We had them out at the farm and they came waltzing past my house and ate my dinner plate dahlia that was getting ready to bloom. There must not have been any Billys in the group or you would have had even more of an unforgettable experience.
How tragic for those kids to lose their parents in such an unpleasant situation. I'm really hooked on this story gal. Well done!
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 08-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024
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What a terrific review this is, Tom! So full of fun and interesting tidbits, too!! I appreciate the encouragement and, of course, the additional star. Thank you for it all. xoxox
Comment from Monica Chaddick
This is a wonderfully written story segment. I love stories about the Amish and I am fascinated with their lifestyle, so you have earned yourself a new fan.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024
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This is a wonderfully written story segment. I love stories about the Amish and I am fascinated with their lifestyle, so you have earned yourself a new fan.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2024
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Well, thank you!! That is wonderful news, indeed!! Have you read the series by Linda Castillo? The protagonist is a character named Kate Burkholder, and she's formerly Amish and a police chief in Painter's Mill, PA, an Amish community. Great stories.
Also, be sure you also check out my co-author's chapters of this book, because she's telling the same story but from her viewpoint, and she's a fantastic writer. Gretchen (GW) Hargis.
Anyway, thank you for this very nice review. It brought me a smile today. xoxo
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I will definitely check out your co-author's writing, as well. Thank you. I think I have read a story by Linda Castillo. That story line sounds familiar.