Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Willing Hearts Chapter 8"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
31 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"door with hand" would read better as door with her hand.
The animals paragraph sort of reads like a laundry list. And, there are plenty of them for Sami to worry about.
"Tony, what's going?" should be Tony what's going on?
Seems Noah does not "have a lot of experience with relationships" and Sami is pushing buttons he does not know how to control.
Could Bob, going alone, be headed for a trap?
Plenty of action going on to move the storyline along.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
  |
"door with hand" would read better as door with her hand.
The animals paragraph sort of reads like a laundry list. And, there are plenty of them for Sami to worry about.
"Tony, what's going?" should be Tony what's going on?
Seems Noah does not "have a lot of experience with relationships" and Sami is pushing buttons he does not know how to control.
Could Bob, going alone, be headed for a trap?
Plenty of action going on to move the storyline along.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2024
-
Thank you for the help. I have a horrible habit of leaving out the small words. When I edit, I tend to read the sentences as if those words are there. I know they're not. LOL I'm even attempting to search for it, now and still miss them. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Daylily
A good chapter laying the groundwork for coming action. Just found this one place to make a correction:
"I've succeeded (in) upsetting him again."
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
 |
A good chapter laying the groundwork for coming action. Just found this one place to make a correction:
"I've succeeded (in) upsetting him again."
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review and help, I appreciate it.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Another excellent chapter of the Willing Hearts book.
Sami and Noah are getting closer and I'm glad they don't fight anymore.
I hope they are safe.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
|
Another excellent chapter of the Willing Hearts book.
Sami and Noah are getting closer and I'm glad they don't fight anymore.
I hope they are safe.
Gypsy
Comment Written 10-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
-
They will still have a few skirmishes. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
I don't notice things unless they are glaring. Usually a misspelled word. This is clipping right along. Everyone is getting along. This also can be dangerous. Good writing. Karen
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
|
I don't notice things unless they are glaring. Usually a misspelled word. This is clipping right along. Everyone is getting along. This also can be dangerous. Good writing. Karen
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
:-)
Comment from tfawcus
The action is hotting up again in this chapter. Plenty of action and foreshadowing. I have a feeling it might not be long until there's a showdown. Looking forward to the next one.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
|
The action is hotting up again in this chapter. Plenty of action and foreshadowing. I have a feeling it might not be long until there's a showdown. Looking forward to the next one.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
-
A show down does happen but will take a while. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Are the baddies just being what they seem to be, Sami seems a little hard to read, I guess like some females, although my wife is pretty even natured with a gracious heart, but I can't get away with things that others can, she's a great Nannie, well done Barbara, grea episode, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
|
Are the baddies just being what they seem to be, Sami seems a little hard to read, I guess like some females, although my wife is pretty even natured with a gracious heart, but I can't get away with things that others can, she's a great Nannie, well done Barbara, grea episode, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2024
-
Sami will continue to be Sami. She's a free spirit and doesn't always listen. My husband swears he can't get away with our boys did when they were home. I would remind him, of course, not you're an adult and should know better. He would disagree. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
-
I agree our mantles, he?s a parent and can be a friend, but primarily a parent.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I wonder if they are what they seem. Are the armed robbers looking for someone, and would it have anything to do with Sami? There's my brain working overtime, and getting it all wrong! Lol. Those girls for the dance will have to be careful. Let's home Sami' mum and friend will be able to do what Sami has asked them. I'm looking forward to the next part. Well done! Sandra xx
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
|
I wonder if they are what they seem. Are the armed robbers looking for someone, and would it have anything to do with Sami? There's my brain working overtime, and getting it all wrong! Lol. Those girls for the dance will have to be careful. Let's home Sami' mum and friend will be able to do what Sami has asked them. I'm looking forward to the next part. Well done! Sandra xx
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Nicely done. This book is coming along nicely. Sounds like you got some trouble brewing on the horizon.
I like the characters and the dialogue. You are nailing it. Keep up the good work, my friend.
D
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
|
Nicely done. This book is coming along nicely. Sounds like you got some trouble brewing on the horizon.
I like the characters and the dialogue. You are nailing it. Keep up the good work, my friend.
D
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
-
Thank you for the wonderful support.
Comment from Sankey
What an interesting, creepy chapter. Just a couple OF hehe, spags to check!
table next to us a couple (of)men
I probably need to talk, but I'm not willing to[o]."
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
|
What an interesting, creepy chapter. Just a couple OF hehe, spags to check!
table next to us a couple (of)men
I probably need to talk, but I'm not willing to[o]."
Comment Written 09-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
-
Thank you for the wonderful support.
Comment from Sharon Elwell
There are several picky things that may not need revision, but I want to point them out in case you have other readers with the same questions.
Some sentences were awkward, and required me to reread:
"He heard movement and her attempting..."
"He sighed when he studied the cabin lit up..."
"Only you hear this?"
Some had punctuation or grammar issues:
"I'm not willing too."
"reaching for her hand, but then stopped..." (verb agreement)
",,,pinochle game." needs a closing quotation mark
"Why don't we go for a walk." should have a question mark.
In describing the incident last night, the sentence, "We were letting off some steam" seems misplaced in the middle of the incident. See what you think.
I wasn't sure if Noah made all three speeches in the paragraph that starts, "Noah came up behind her."
Sami sat. Noah sat. Seems there might be better wording?
Looking forward to reading what happens next!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
 |
There are several picky things that may not need revision, but I want to point them out in case you have other readers with the same questions.
Some sentences were awkward, and required me to reread:
"He heard movement and her attempting..."
"He sighed when he studied the cabin lit up..."
"Only you hear this?"
Some had punctuation or grammar issues:
"I'm not willing too."
"reaching for her hand, but then stopped..." (verb agreement)
",,,pinochle game." needs a closing quotation mark
"Why don't we go for a walk." should have a question mark.
In describing the incident last night, the sentence, "We were letting off some steam" seems misplaced in the middle of the incident. See what you think.
I wasn't sure if Noah made all three speeches in the paragraph that starts, "Noah came up behind her."
Sami sat. Noah sat. Seems there might be better wording?
Looking forward to reading what happens next!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2024
-
I appreciate the help. Thank you. I make the necessary corrections.