Two Goodbyes
The Ending of a Family12 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
You give us here two sets of dialogue: one to the mistress (I assume); one to the husband. The content is breathtakingly real and vengeful and I can only imagine how cathartic it must have been to vent all this through your stunning write. The impact of what has happened to the family is poignantly conveyed and your well chosen image sums that up perfectly. Ideally (and I say this a lot), larger font and double spacing between paragraphs always aids readability and prospective reviewers may be visually challenged. Also be careful about spacing between sentences. But this is a strong entry and I wish you luck! Take care Loann, Debbie
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You give us here two sets of dialogue: one to the mistress (I assume); one to the husband. The content is breathtakingly real and vengeful and I can only imagine how cathartic it must have been to vent all this through your stunning write. The impact of what has happened to the family is poignantly conveyed and your well chosen image sums that up perfectly. Ideally (and I say this a lot), larger font and double spacing between paragraphs always aids readability and prospective reviewers may be visually challenged. Also be careful about spacing between sentences. But this is a strong entry and I wish you luck! Take care Loann, Debbie
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
Comment from Teri7
This is such a sad story you have penned. I see it is under true story. I am so sorry this happened to you. You used great descriptive words, and I would think he got the picture from the words you said. I hope you find someone to come into your life that will treat you like a princess! Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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This is such a sad story you have penned. I see it is under true story. I am so sorry this happened to you. You used great descriptive words, and I would think he got the picture from the words you said. I hope you find someone to come into your life that will treat you like a princess! Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This was an amazing dialogue and well written. My problem is that I don't know who the speaker is speaking to. Was the husband's brother living with he and his wife and kids? I guess that is the one thing I think you need to make clear. Also, it would help to put a space between paragraphs instead of having all that dialogue run together in big blocks.
I assume you were the wife in this non-fiction. I hope things finally settled down a little and all of you were able to live a better life.
Good luck in the contest.
Pam
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This was an amazing dialogue and well written. My problem is that I don't know who the speaker is speaking to. Was the husband's brother living with he and his wife and kids? I guess that is the one thing I think you need to make clear. Also, it would help to put a space between paragraphs instead of having all that dialogue run together in big blocks.
I assume you were the wife in this non-fiction. I hope things finally settled down a little and all of you were able to live a better life.
Good luck in the contest.
Pam
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
Comment from Wayne Fowler
I'm sorry for your pain.
I hope you win the contest. I hope you won the house.
I hope his pecker shrivels and falls off.
I hope for your healing.
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I'm sorry for your pain.
I hope you win the contest. I hope you won the house.
I hope his pecker shrivels and falls off.
I hope for your healing.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2024
Comment from Ginda Simpson
This is not only a well-written true story for the contest, but it could easily have been entered in the dialogue only contest. You have given us the whole picture, using only one person's voice. Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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This is not only a well-written true story for the contest, but it could easily have been entered in the dialogue only contest. You have given us the whole picture, using only one person's voice. Well done!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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Thank you so very much. I debated on the
type of contest when I was planning.Yourcomments meant a lot.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness their is a lot of pain and heart break in these words as betrayal is hard to take after years of loyalty and I can understand your hurt and anger here, a powerful post, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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Oh my goodness their is a lot of pain and heart break in these words as betrayal is hard to take after years of loyalty and I can understand your hurt and anger here, a powerful post, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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Thank you for reading this and understanding. I appreciate your kindness.
Comment from LJbutterfly
The protagonist expressed emotionally charged feelings of pain, anger, and disappointment. A family is destroyed because two people cared only about themselves. Your well chosen words makes the reader angry and it feels good to read, "Get out." Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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The protagonist expressed emotionally charged feelings of pain, anger, and disappointment. A family is destroyed because two people cared only about themselves. Your well chosen words makes the reader angry and it feels good to read, "Get out." Well done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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Your sentence structure and vocabulary are always so good. Thank you for your insight and kindness.
Comment from Begin Again
I regret this is a true story, but it is one that unfolds day after day. You exposed yourself and the horrible unraveling of your sacred family life and the pain was felt by the reader. I could see each moment, each word, each emotion and I also know how love can change to hatred in a second, whether we want that or not. Very well written.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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I regret this is a true story, but it is one that unfolds day after day. You exposed yourself and the horrible unraveling of your sacred family life and the pain was felt by the reader. I could see each moment, each word, each emotion and I also know how love can change to hatred in a second, whether we want that or not. Very well written.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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It means so much when someone writes as if they were sitting beside you. Thank you so very much.
Comment from royowen
I can see why you have written this, a form of catharsis, but it's very well presented, and can understand where you are coming from, you've Projected a sense of strength of mind, great post, a great post, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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I can see why you have written this, a form of catharsis, but it's very well presented, and can understand where you are coming from, you've Projected a sense of strength of mind, great post, a great post, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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Yes, Roy, it truly was cathartic. You are always insightful. I appreciate your comments. Blessings
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Well done
Comment from Terry Reilly
Powerful, emotive, authentic. And very well written. I can only hope that writing this may have contributed some catharsis to the difficult process of coming to terms with emotional betrayal.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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Powerful, emotive, authentic. And very well written. I can only hope that writing this may have contributed some catharsis to the difficult process of coming to terms with emotional betrayal.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2024
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What a wonderful surprise and gift. This meant so very much to me. Yes, it actually did help me to write it.Thank you for thinking it worthy. Blessings