Evening Hunting
A place to chronicle the hunt.15 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
If I understand the challenge right, I think you have an excellent story for the contest. I find it interesting that you tell the tale in sort of an understated way. You didn't try to make it gory or bloody, which you could have done.
But you choose to give your readers insight into the mind of this horrible excuse for a human being.
The ending was interesting, too. You have a new story. Some day in the far distant future, someone finds the journals and begins to read them... who or what was this madman? The finder of the journals embarks on a quest. It could be interesting.
Very well done.Terry.
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If I understand the challenge right, I think you have an excellent story for the contest. I find it interesting that you tell the tale in sort of an understated way. You didn't try to make it gory or bloody, which you could have done.
But you choose to give your readers insight into the mind of this horrible excuse for a human being.
The ending was interesting, too. You have a new story. Some day in the far distant future, someone finds the journals and begins to read them... who or what was this madman? The finder of the journals embarks on a quest. It could be interesting.
Very well done.Terry.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2023
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. It's very well written. It didn't come into my PM box, I'm guessing because of being a contest entry. I'm glad I found it. Good luck with the contest.
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. It's very well written. It didn't come into my PM box, I'm guessing because of being a contest entry. I'm glad I found it. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2023
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Thesis,
well done on this tale of murder and madness. It reminded me of Jack the Ripper. I wonder what went through Stanley's mind that he felt prostitutes were worthy of killing? Considering all the terrible things that occur, prostitution is near the bottom of the list of reprehensible behavior I would think. Perhaps his mother was a less than honorable woman. Good read. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
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Hello Thesis,
well done on this tale of murder and madness. It reminded me of Jack the Ripper. I wonder what went through Stanley's mind that he felt prostitutes were worthy of killing? Considering all the terrible things that occur, prostitution is near the bottom of the list of reprehensible behavior I would think. Perhaps his mother was a less than honorable woman. Good read. Thanks for sharing this.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 01-Nov-2023
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent story, of just the right length and amount of detail. You incorporated your genre and objects very smoothly. I enjoyed the read. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
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An excellent story, of just the right length and amount of detail. You incorporated your genre and objects very smoothly. I enjoyed the read. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
Comment from Ric Myworld
Proof that there doesn't have to be blood and gore to write a terrifying story. And that the journal might lie unread for many years to come or possibly forever haunts us with the unknown. Thanks for sharing.
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Proof that there doesn't have to be blood and gore to write a terrifying story. And that the journal might lie unread for many years to come or possibly forever haunts us with the unknown. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
Comment from Navada
You've deployed both objects well in this story - very creative. I enjoyed the tale and the obsessive nature of his recordings. To improve it further, re-read to fix a few little SPAG errors in places. Good luck for the contest.
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You've deployed both objects well in this story - very creative. I enjoyed the tale and the obsessive nature of his recordings. To improve it further, re-read to fix a few little SPAG errors in places. Good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Most excellent work. This sentence prevented me from giving you a six for perfect work. "Taking a sip, he rolled himself a cigarette, lit it, and used the same match to lite his smoke." Two mistakes, (lite) instead of light, and, you seem to be lighting the cigarette twice. Otherwise, It was glorious. Karen
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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Most excellent work. This sentence prevented me from giving you a six for perfect work. "Taking a sip, he rolled himself a cigarette, lit it, and used the same match to lite his smoke." Two mistakes, (lite) instead of light, and, you seem to be lighting the cigarette twice. Otherwise, It was glorious. Karen
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2023
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I edited the piece and forgot to save the correction and have since corrected it. Thanks for your wonderful review and comments.
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I am sorry, but we can not correct from a five to a six, or I would do so. I hope someone else does. Good luck with the voting. Karen
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I can't explain why, but this is creepy with all kinds of foreshadowing. The reader holds their breath, You have described the character perfectly to set the reader on edge and wanting to read the next sentence. This is powerfully documented.
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I can't explain why, but this is creepy with all kinds of foreshadowing. The reader holds their breath, You have described the character perfectly to set the reader on edge and wanting to read the next sentence. This is powerfully documented.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You rewrote the terrible events that took place in 19th century London when Jack the Ripper terrorised the streets murdering prostitutes and and dismembering their bodies. He was, of course, never caught and there have been many theories. If only we could find that leather bound journal? A fine post for the contest, love Dolly x x x
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You rewrote the terrible events that took place in 19th century London when Jack the Ripper terrorised the streets murdering prostitutes and and dismembering their bodies. He was, of course, never caught and there have been many theories. If only we could find that leather bound journal? A fine post for the contest, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023
Comment from Sally Law
As an author of crime fiction, I loved this! Very well written too and close to Jack the Ripper's methodology. This is definitely my vote in the contest too. All my best with this one.
Sally Law :))
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As an author of crime fiction, I loved this! Very well written too and close to Jack the Ripper's methodology. This is definitely my vote in the contest too. All my best with this one.
Sally Law :))
Comment Written 30-Oct-2023