Comment from Rachelle Allen

Good

Hi, Debi -

Of course it's nice that you stand by Israel...as opposed to Tempeste who sent me a diatribe earlier this week about how Israel is responsible for killing innocent children, women and the aging. OY!!!

But here are the reasons I gave you less than a 5 for this poem:
*Misspelling of judgment (only one 'e')
*What is "rem"? All Google could offer up was "Rapid Eye Movement" --a sleeping occurrence-- and "Roentgen equivalent man, a unit of radiation dosage. Neither seemed appropos. So maybe an Author's Note would have been helpful for this.
*"While evil pours out their resent"...ResentMENT, did you mean? (I realize it doesn't rhyme then, but, still, that's a LOT of 'poetic license, since resent is a verb, not a noun.)
*"When souls were sold that weren't for sell." Again, I know you needed 'sell' for the ensuing rhyming factor, but I think the word should have been 'sale,' right? Saying something's "not for sell" isn't correct English.

So, I'm sorry, Debi. Writer to writer, I thought you'd want your presentation to reflect your time and experience, and I wanted the same for my scoring.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

Hi Rachelle. Actually I, made a couple typos with judgment and also it was supposed to say to sell. Not for sell or sale. I do know better so thank you for bringing that to my attention.
I corrected the few errors I know I made.

I wrote this under some harsh treatments to save my life, yet I am usually more on the ball of catching my own mistakes, even in these trying times. My writing and my friends here are helping to keep me sane right now.

However, I?ve heard about judgment rem all my life. It means judgment pronounced on the status of some particular subject or property. Has nothing to do with eyes. And in this case yes, is described perfectly for this.

And it's hard when its a difference of opinion about who is to blame
and that is not worth debating because I have my belief and you have yours.
I believe both have been wrong, yet Israel did not start the war. I respect your right to believe how you want, but mine is backed by a lifetime of Christian knowledge if someone attacked Israel there would be hell to pay. Like I wrote that there were innocent people on both sides. Killing of any children is disturbing to me no matter who does it.

Thank you Rachelle for you review and comments. I do appreciate them.

Comment from Claire Tennant

Excellent

I hope you will permit me to say what a truly beautiful though sad poem this is. You tell the story, you educate, and you are diplomatic. Yet teach a powerful lesson. All of this is true; from God's protection and end times, to what needs to be done. I wish success in the contest

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023

Claire, I thank you with all my heart as a have had some who opposed me writing this yet this is the way I was taught and will always be my belief.it is proven that sleeper cells coming in from every side.
Thanks again for the kind comments.

Comment from judiverse

Excellent

Yes, pray for peace. It's been sad to hear about what's happening. I am amazed at the number of pro-Palestinian supporters there are in the U.S. Great use of monorhyme in each of the stanzas. There is no effort to control who's entering the U.S. through the southern border. We don't know who they are or where they're going. They could we from Hamas and other terrorist groups. We have big trouble brewing. Biden doesn't seem able to handle things, either. Very timely subject and well stated. judi

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023

Thanks Judi for the very kind comments for this poem. It was so fresh in my mind, as it is everyday. And as it gets worse, I cannot see more doom and time of woe that can come of this. Did you know that if war is declared during election time, it is an automatic that the one in office automatically is declared pres. for another term? Also there is a ship that sits not far from the site of where the all of this is going on and some think its so Hamas bombs it and then we will declare war. I guess I put nothing past this group. I am just so sickened by what I have seen by the left.
Thanks again Judi.

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

there is a gross irony and tragic example of juxtaposition with a cause to pause for the cautionary tale being written. The irony is the holy land Jesus walked up in surrounded in darkness and a variety of ways.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023

Hey Liz, hope you don't get sick of hearing from me today, but I am trying to catch up after getting so behind. But decided to also look at your home page a little too and so glad I did because I enjoyed your story so much. '

Thanks for the review and comments for this WOE poem as it has caused much woe in many of us. You are a sweetheart, dear friend.

reply by Liz O'Neill on 23-Oct-2023

***Hugs***

Comment from Michele Harber

Excellent

Wow! This is a very powerful description of the war and of the evil that was brought on Israel. As a Jew myself, I'm grateful for your support of Israel and condemnation of the attack.

You made your points very clearly, and in perfect rhyme and meter. I love your use of the blue and red type, on the white background, taking in the colors of the Israeli flag and the US flag. That alone makes a very powerful statement.

Good luck in the contest. The day you described was the definition of a day of woe.

I don't know enough to know whether there are sleeper cells in the US, but enough has taken place to not deny any possibility. Let's hope, when we see final proof, it's because, if these cells exist, they've been discovered and disbanded, and not because they've carried out their plans.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2023

Hi Michelle, since I was a small child I have been taught that Israel were God?s chosen people. It is written in much of the Bible. So of course we support. This war scares me. I feel so bad for the innocent, the women and children mostly.

Sleeper cells are proven to be coming in all borders and some are in prison right now. At least that what CBN says, which is the only real news 1know,
,
Thank you for all your kind words and may peace come once more for your people, and I may not be Jewish but am a child of God. I think that makes us sisters of the heart.

reply by Michele Harber on 27-Oct-2023

Debi, I love the idea of our being sisters of the heart, and I agree with you totally. I've never let religion, color, ethnicity or anything else stand in the way of friendship. In fact, based on my several-year interaction with various church-based theater groups, I have many more gentile friends than Jewish, and it's my gentile friends that are way more likely to remember me on the Jewish holidays.

I greatly respect and appreciate your feelings about Israel and the Israeli people.

I really hope the stories about sleeper cells aren't true, but I'm not naive enough to assume that. I guess the best we can do is lead our own lives with love, respect and acceptance, and raise our children to do the same, so they never feel the need for the "camaraderie" of those cells.

Comment from harmony13

Excellent

The author's words are upsetting, heartfelt, sad, frightening, descriptive and creative. I pondered on the state of Israel today and all who have died and those being held or hurt. Thank you for the author's notes - they speak volumes! We must pray for peace everyday. I liked how the author uses red and blue stanzas as many true facts are stated in these
words. The artwork is perfect for the theme and words of this poem.
Hi Debi, this is an excellent poem for this contest - it says it all!
Best of luck!....Maria

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

Hi Maria, I know this is so late, but just wanted you to know that I truly appreciated your very kind review and comments for Mary and her poem.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

I think blaming Mexicans for terrorism in America is a stretch. The majority of Mexican immigrants come to the USA in search of work so they can send money home.

Terrorists are a true threat to our country but they can come to the USA through New York and other American states too.

I just watched a you tube video of wounded children in an overflowing hospital in Palestinia. There are many civilians that are not Hasan Terrorists hurt and killed by this war. Biden said in 60 minutes program that we are negotiating with Israel for a safe passage for inocent women and children out of Palestinia ... I hope they agree. It's a tragedy for Israel and for non-hasan terrorist Palestinian civilians.

I pray we don't have a www 3, I think we won't. America is the most powerful country in the world.

Good job writing about an important issue.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2023

I agree about not blaming Mexican for border problems. That is why I wrote they are coming in from every side. But when there is no watch or even an attempt to watch it closer, the thugs, and these sleeper cells do get in. The only thing I wrote about what was the facts. I was careful to not make it too personal, because I can't take the backlash right now. I hear from people all the time complaining about them coming in from the east coast. I just hate seeing the innocent suffer so badly. Thank you for dear comments regarding the same feelings. I think when it is all said and done, we all want the same thing. I appreciate your kind comments, my friend.

Comment from Wendyanne

Excellent

Your poem is very well written and very thought-provoking! You have described what is going on in Israel very well. Religion seems to be the cause of so many wars. I will pray for peace.

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

Hi Wendyanne, sorry this is so late, I am a few behind, but wanted you to know how much I appreciated your kind words for my Israel poem.

Comment from lauralumummu

Exceptional

Well-written poem, praying for Israel here in Canada. If moms and grandmothers were in charge I think things would be different. Until The Lord returns evil will continue and we must do our best to protect the innocent on all sides. God bless you, Laura

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023

Laural, So sorry this is so late, but had so many birthday poems this week and got behind.

But I do appreciate your very kind words for this poem and your gracious six stars. Thank you so very much, my dear friend.

Would you mind me asking your birthdate?
I love showing my reviewers my appreciation with a birthday poem.

reply by lauralumummu on 21-Oct-2023

Happy Belated birthday! mine is Sept 26
xo Laura

reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023

Laura, I am so sorry that it is passed. I usually offer these to just the people that have been reviewing me, and you have been so much lately. So I am going to give you an option of, I can do a belated one in the next week or wait for next year. I already have you in my book now, but it isn't even a month past due. I had a lot this last week, but now have about a week before the next one. I have done them late before, and if you choose to let me do one soon, I will just ask you to send me some info about yourself that you don't mind sharing.
I do this because my lupus, my eyesight and general health gives me mostly only time just to write and not much reviewing. So it is my way of saying thank you to those that review me anyway. It really sucks because I have to pay my own way to promote, but this is my bucket list and is so important to me. I'm just not given enough screen time to do both, but it is such a rewarding feeling to make someone else smile.
And I saw that you fanned me, and I thank you so much.

Comment from angel123

Exceptional

Your political poem is profoundly written, and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well with a truth that I resonate with. It rhymes well and I really like your last two stanzas. Your artwork enhances your message and I like that you shared your message with us. Best wishes!

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 20-Oct-2023

Angel, So sorry this is so late, but had so many birthday poems this week and got behind.

But I do appreciate your very kind words for this poem and your gracious six stars. Thank you so very much, my dear friend.

Would you mind me asking your birthdate?
I love showing my reviewers my appreciation with a birthday poem.