Miss Snider's Amazing Gift
The view From the Window of My Tiny Stone Cottage38 total reviews
Comment from Esther Brown
Jay, that was undoubtedly a six. You captured that delicate balance in love that is so rare. Is this really you as a young man? And Miss Snider's second meeting with you? Oh please, I want to know. You are amazing in the way you craft words into a vision I can see. Two ladies with love for each other, and your gift of being present to hear their music. Esther
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Jay, that was undoubtedly a six. You captured that delicate balance in love that is so rare. Is this really you as a young man? And Miss Snider's second meeting with you? Oh please, I want to know. You are amazing in the way you craft words into a vision I can see. Two ladies with love for each other, and your gift of being present to hear their music. Esther
Comment Written 04-Sep-2024
Comment from Loren .
Breathtakingly beautiful. A sense of peace and tranquility seemed to cover me as I read your poetic words. The story flowed like a river and I ached to sit forever on its berm to watch and reflect. Knees akimbo, starlight above, moonlight shinning down and simply siting to watch and enjoy. Loren. And thinking I should just lay down my pen and never attempt writing again.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Breathtakingly beautiful. A sense of peace and tranquility seemed to cover me as I read your poetic words. The story flowed like a river and I ached to sit forever on its berm to watch and reflect. Knees akimbo, starlight above, moonlight shinning down and simply siting to watch and enjoy. Loren. And thinking I should just lay down my pen and never attempt writing again.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2023
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Oh, no, no, no, don't ever say that! Keep a hold on that pen and never let it go. Hey, Loren, your review has made my day! I'm so happy you enjoyed it!
Jay
Comment from Liz O'Neill
The literary juxtaposition seems to carry much of your story: "My tiny stone cottage really belonged in Ireland. It should have been cradled in the open palms of a meadow, around which bunnies frolicked and butterflies flitted, a meadow cluttered with flowers in a valley that snuggled lazily into the gentle undulations of spring-green hillocks. That's where my stone cottage belonged.
Instead, my cottage rested in a spacious backyard of an upscale neighborhood in San Antonio, Texas.
Finding my twenty-three-year-old self in that cottage, snugged into that spacious back yard, was one of those accidental placements that has guided me throughout my life.
I like your tongue-in-cheek humor: "I'm a writer," I told her. "I play the typewriter." I love this image. You area goodwriter.My puny words and brittle sentences were clumsy artifacts in face of this overflowing of melody, and I was its willing victim."
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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The literary juxtaposition seems to carry much of your story: "My tiny stone cottage really belonged in Ireland. It should have been cradled in the open palms of a meadow, around which bunnies frolicked and butterflies flitted, a meadow cluttered with flowers in a valley that snuggled lazily into the gentle undulations of spring-green hillocks. That's where my stone cottage belonged.
Instead, my cottage rested in a spacious backyard of an upscale neighborhood in San Antonio, Texas.
Finding my twenty-three-year-old self in that cottage, snugged into that spacious back yard, was one of those accidental placements that has guided me throughout my life.
I like your tongue-in-cheek humor: "I'm a writer," I told her. "I play the typewriter." I love this image. You area goodwriter.My puny words and brittle sentences were clumsy artifacts in face of this overflowing of melody, and I was its willing victim."
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Liz.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Jay
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superb
Comment from Thesis
Bravo, Jay. I really enjoyed this story. It kept me engaged as I followed the journey of awareness into the reason why Gladys wanted you to rent the cottage. It sounds like it was a very enlightening experience and quite educational as well. She sounds like a very multi-faceted person, and quite deep in her relationships. It had to be a very rich experience getting to know her.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Bravo, Jay. I really enjoyed this story. It kept me engaged as I followed the journey of awareness into the reason why Gladys wanted you to rent the cottage. It sounds like it was a very enlightening experience and quite educational as well. She sounds like a very multi-faceted person, and quite deep in her relationships. It had to be a very rich experience getting to know her.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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I'm gratified you took a chance on this post, Thesis. I really enjoyed writing it.
Jay
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Jay, I enjoy your posts. It?s clear you had a wonderful, unforgettable experience that resonated with you. Thanks for sharing.
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Thank YOU for being on the receiving end.
Jay
Comment from w.j.debi
You have an incredible talent for drawing the reader into the story and then not releasing them until the final sentence. Gladys was an incredible person. I like the description of her wandering across the lawn in the middle of the night. When she died, perhaps, and you saw her spirit leaving? You hint at a follow-up story. I look forward to it.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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You have an incredible talent for drawing the reader into the story and then not releasing them until the final sentence. Gladys was an incredible person. I like the description of her wandering across the lawn in the middle of the night. When she died, perhaps, and you saw her spirit leaving? You hint at a follow-up story. I look forward to it.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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I'm working on it as we speak, Debi. It'll take a while though. I'm so incredibly slow at writing. Thank you for reading.
Jay
Comment from WalkerMan
This is an increasingly moving story as it proceeds. In every scene, you filled in enough detail about the circumstances, setting, characters, activity, and dialog that the reader can feel invisibly present. That the story is true and autobiographical makes it even more interesting.
Miss Snider's beautiful piano music clearly had a positive effect that prepared you for what was to come.
As the story progressed, I sensed that it was meant to be for all involved, and Miss Snider knew that the whole time. Perhaps what she had learned from the Rudolf Steiner books enabled that.
What you learned in the whole process may have let you see "Miss Snider, in a gauzy white gown, drifting across the far end of the lawn, much as a specter would" and looking "rather luminous" as she swayed with "the young aspen tree." Perhaps her spirit was saying, "Goodbye."
It was not mere coincidence that Anna arrived at your door to tell you, "Gladys is gone," just as you were about to open it to go to the Greathouse to pay the rent. The hug that ensued also was meant to be, lest you would forever after have wished you had.
Your hint of a sequel to this post is enticing.
That this post is ATB #1 for October is well deserved. Superb. -- Mike
I know you'll fix the two items below, so no stars are deducted.
Section Three, Paragraph 24, sentence 3: with four leather-bound books
Section Four, P3, s1: each of the three books [Compare with above.]
Section Four, P4, s1: the several exercise => the several exercises
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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This is an increasingly moving story as it proceeds. In every scene, you filled in enough detail about the circumstances, setting, characters, activity, and dialog that the reader can feel invisibly present. That the story is true and autobiographical makes it even more interesting.
Miss Snider's beautiful piano music clearly had a positive effect that prepared you for what was to come.
As the story progressed, I sensed that it was meant to be for all involved, and Miss Snider knew that the whole time. Perhaps what she had learned from the Rudolf Steiner books enabled that.
What you learned in the whole process may have let you see "Miss Snider, in a gauzy white gown, drifting across the far end of the lawn, much as a specter would" and looking "rather luminous" as she swayed with "the young aspen tree." Perhaps her spirit was saying, "Goodbye."
It was not mere coincidence that Anna arrived at your door to tell you, "Gladys is gone," just as you were about to open it to go to the Greathouse to pay the rent. The hug that ensued also was meant to be, lest you would forever after have wished you had.
Your hint of a sequel to this post is enticing.
That this post is ATB #1 for October is well deserved. Superb. -- Mike
I know you'll fix the two items below, so no stars are deducted.
Section Three, Paragraph 24, sentence 3: with four leather-bound books
Section Four, P3, s1: each of the three books [Compare with above.]
Section Four, P4, s1: the several exercise => the several exercises
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Thank you, Eagle-eye Mike! I'll correct those oversites. Honestly, I don't remember whether it was three or four. It's been about 60 years ago!
Okay, the changes have been made ... and you are amazing! Thank you so much, Mike.
Jay
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You are most welcome, Jay. Sally rightly told me I'd like this one.
Congratulations on receiving over eighty percent Sixes so far.
Now I must tease you, as you meant "oversights" that you fixed.
It's about time for me to become your Fan, so I don't miss the sequel.
I spend most of my time here helping others, so I have little time for posting and reviewing. Consequently, I limit my few reviews per week to my allotment of Sixes, and often don't even use them all for lack of time.
If you are inclined to reciprocate, you might like this (else feel free to read and optionally review anything in my two-page Portfolio):
https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=1056574
Stay well, my friend. :)) -- Mike
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is quite a story. You had me hooked from the first sentence to the last. You make it easy for this reader to envision the little stone cottage and Anna. It was a marvelous life experience for you.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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This is quite a story. You had me hooked from the first sentence to the last. You make it easy for this reader to envision the little stone cottage and Anna. It was a marvelous life experience for you.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this. Yes it was a great life experience. I needed to get it down on paper before my memory goes. It was over 60 years ago.
Jay
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I've missed you in these marble-floored, echo-riddled halls of Fanstory. Where have you been? I see you shelved your younger pic. You know, I have a buddy who looks so much like you. His name is Jerry Bernard. He could be your twin. But where you are an excellent engineer of words, he is an engineer of cars and trucks. You're both at the top of your games. Jerry retired from Autotec in Saint John, previously Battery & Electric. He then took a job at Lawton's Drug Store in the Rehab department. His mechanical ability matches your writing skill, without a doubt. I joined him at Lawton's in 2013, doing what I do best... Receiving. I met him through my longtime friend, Jim McFarlane, who also worked and retired from Autotec. Anyway, I just thought you might find this interesting. Whenever I see Jerry now, I'll think of you.
Excellent writing here, Jay, and I'd expect nothing less from you. You do a dandy job in presenting the background. I got to this part,
"...my landlady directed me to a chair, opposite hers, at a mid-sized round table. On it was a silver tray containing three cups, a stack of saucers, three services of silverware, each wrapped in a white, linen napkin and held together by a silver ring. An empty chair sat between us." Right away, I said to myself: "This sounds like the Mad Tea Party from "Alice in Wonderland". Who is this third party, the Doormouse?"
And then, (I also think ahead), maybe his landlady meant a ghost when she said "we"."
I mean, his landlady did (in fact) say, "We'd like to have you join us for afternoon tea." And this is October that ends with Halloween, as a sort of exclamation mark! Perhaps Jay is about to introduce us to a ghost!
Okay, and quickly I learn that your landlady's name is Gladys Snider. The "doormouse" is Anna. But you don't know their relationship, just that they have one. And there is affection and respect. You see them as "mismatched life partners".
You begin to read Rudolf Steiner's books, as Gladys persuaded you should. She feels it would elevate your writing prowess. She told you, "You must do the exercises, Jay. You must learn to align each of your senses, individually with nature. Trees feel. Flowers feel. Rocks -- not so much ... but you must reach out your senses toward the trees and flowers and strive to understand their message. And not give up. And not manufacture your feelings." ... As I read this, I thought about the speech that Chief Dan George gave about a scalp (as Old Lodge Skins to Jack Crabbe/Dustin Hoffman) in the 1970 movie "Little Big Man", "Do you see this fine thing? Do you admire the humanity of it? Because the human beings, my son, they believe everything is alive. Not only man and animals. But also water, earth, stone. And also the things from them... like that hair. The man from whom this hair came, he's bald on the other side, because I now own his scalp! That is the way things are. But the white man, they believe EVERYTHING is dead. Stone, earth, animals. And people! Even their own people! If things keep trying to live, white man will rub them out. That is the difference."
Is Gladys a ghost, perhaps??? This part seemed quite ominous...
"One night -- actually, in an early morning hour -- I sat in darkness at my desk when I noticed Miss Snider, in a gauzy white gown, drifting across the far end of the lawn, much as a specter would. The moon was three-quarter's full and she looked rather luminous."
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"One of the several (exercise) I practiced daily was "reverse memory"."
... (exercises)
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Wow! That was an excellent story, Jay. I was half-hoping that Gladys and Anna were ghosts. But I guess they were human beans like you and me, but very special, too. They were the type of people that moved you. When they were gone, you were left with a hole in your heart that had to be filled... possibly with a published novel, in their honor.
I guess I read more into this story than was intended. But that's the way it is with a book. Sometimes the story leads you. Other times, you lead the story.
Glad to finally see you posting again, Jay! You have too much talent to shut down for whatever reason. You can't stop creating.
Good Luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
P.S. Well, Jay Squires, I think you actually fooled me. Not sure, but I had to come back and edit my review with this blurpy PS. That night when you saw Miss Snider drift across her lawn, like a specter in the moonlight, had she just passed away??? I'm thinking she did! It was her ghost! What a great tale for Halloween! Bazinga!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Hi Jay,
I've missed you in these marble-floored, echo-riddled halls of Fanstory. Where have you been? I see you shelved your younger pic. You know, I have a buddy who looks so much like you. His name is Jerry Bernard. He could be your twin. But where you are an excellent engineer of words, he is an engineer of cars and trucks. You're both at the top of your games. Jerry retired from Autotec in Saint John, previously Battery & Electric. He then took a job at Lawton's Drug Store in the Rehab department. His mechanical ability matches your writing skill, without a doubt. I joined him at Lawton's in 2013, doing what I do best... Receiving. I met him through my longtime friend, Jim McFarlane, who also worked and retired from Autotec. Anyway, I just thought you might find this interesting. Whenever I see Jerry now, I'll think of you.
Excellent writing here, Jay, and I'd expect nothing less from you. You do a dandy job in presenting the background. I got to this part,
"...my landlady directed me to a chair, opposite hers, at a mid-sized round table. On it was a silver tray containing three cups, a stack of saucers, three services of silverware, each wrapped in a white, linen napkin and held together by a silver ring. An empty chair sat between us." Right away, I said to myself: "This sounds like the Mad Tea Party from "Alice in Wonderland". Who is this third party, the Doormouse?"
And then, (I also think ahead), maybe his landlady meant a ghost when she said "we"."
I mean, his landlady did (in fact) say, "We'd like to have you join us for afternoon tea." And this is October that ends with Halloween, as a sort of exclamation mark! Perhaps Jay is about to introduce us to a ghost!
Okay, and quickly I learn that your landlady's name is Gladys Snider. The "doormouse" is Anna. But you don't know their relationship, just that they have one. And there is affection and respect. You see them as "mismatched life partners".
You begin to read Rudolf Steiner's books, as Gladys persuaded you should. She feels it would elevate your writing prowess. She told you, "You must do the exercises, Jay. You must learn to align each of your senses, individually with nature. Trees feel. Flowers feel. Rocks -- not so much ... but you must reach out your senses toward the trees and flowers and strive to understand their message. And not give up. And not manufacture your feelings." ... As I read this, I thought about the speech that Chief Dan George gave about a scalp (as Old Lodge Skins to Jack Crabbe/Dustin Hoffman) in the 1970 movie "Little Big Man", "Do you see this fine thing? Do you admire the humanity of it? Because the human beings, my son, they believe everything is alive. Not only man and animals. But also water, earth, stone. And also the things from them... like that hair. The man from whom this hair came, he's bald on the other side, because I now own his scalp! That is the way things are. But the white man, they believe EVERYTHING is dead. Stone, earth, animals. And people! Even their own people! If things keep trying to live, white man will rub them out. That is the difference."
Is Gladys a ghost, perhaps??? This part seemed quite ominous...
"One night -- actually, in an early morning hour -- I sat in darkness at my desk when I noticed Miss Snider, in a gauzy white gown, drifting across the far end of the lawn, much as a specter would. The moon was three-quarter's full and she looked rather luminous."
*********************************************************
"One of the several (exercise) I practiced daily was "reverse memory"."
... (exercises)
*********************************************************
Wow! That was an excellent story, Jay. I was half-hoping that Gladys and Anna were ghosts. But I guess they were human beans like you and me, but very special, too. They were the type of people that moved you. When they were gone, you were left with a hole in your heart that had to be filled... possibly with a published novel, in their honor.
I guess I read more into this story than was intended. But that's the way it is with a book. Sometimes the story leads you. Other times, you lead the story.
Glad to finally see you posting again, Jay! You have too much talent to shut down for whatever reason. You can't stop creating.
Good Luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
P.S. Well, Jay Squires, I think you actually fooled me. Not sure, but I had to come back and edit my review with this blurpy PS. That night when you saw Miss Snider drift across her lawn, like a specter in the moonlight, had she just passed away??? I'm thinking she did! It was her ghost! What a great tale for Halloween! Bazinga!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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Hahahaha! Bazinga! Are you a fan of The Big Bang Theory? You may have missed me, but not as much as I miss your meaty reviews! Had she just passed away? Heh-heh ... Happy Halloween, Kimbob! You'll have to wait for the sequel.
Thanks again, man!
Jay
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I'm a bigger fan of "Young Sheldon"!
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Bazinga! Except the reruns keep showing the first season again and again.
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We can get all six seasons of "Young Sheldon" in Netflix. Season 7 is well under way, but won't be released this fall (as anticipated) due to WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes started in May and July respectively. So fans like me will have to wait until sometime in the spring of 2024 for the 7th season. Drat!
I was very disappointed that the 3rd season of "Resident Alien" was cut back from 12 episodes to 8. And a 4th season is up in the air, I guess. I'd like to ring their bloody necks for dismissing a darn good series! Idiots!
Comment from irishauthorme
What a beautiful and touching story! Your characters came off the page like some of my own family. The picture of Miss Snider's captivating music was very real, the chords and changes in melody floating across the lawn in the dark.
Miss Snider's penetrating survey of the young man reminded me of some of the older ladies I have known who were that perceptive.
I am definitely looking forward to your next story about this lovely lady!
irish
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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What a beautiful and touching story! Your characters came off the page like some of my own family. The picture of Miss Snider's captivating music was very real, the chords and changes in melody floating across the lawn in the dark.
Miss Snider's penetrating survey of the young man reminded me of some of the older ladies I have known who were that perceptive.
I am definitely looking forward to your next story about this lovely lady!
irish
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2023
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I'm so glad you had a chance to read this, Irish! I'm glad it had such a good effect on you. That's what I always shoot for and occasionally hit the target. Your kind words mean so much to me!
Jay
Comment from Paul McFarland
That is a great story, Jay. You have presented it very nicely. Your note are whetting my appetite for your next story about Miss Snider. She had a husband but reverted back to "Miss"?
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2023
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That is a great story, Jay. You have presented it very nicely. Your note are whetting my appetite for your next story about Miss Snider. She had a husband but reverted back to "Miss"?
Comment Written 03-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2023
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Miss was purely of my design at the time. If you go back to the first tea, you'll find a very tongue-tied Jay, after he had asked "Gladys" to call him "Jay" said, "please call me Jay, Mmmmm," which I converted into a clearing of my throat, but was intended to cover my realization that I didn?t have a name to plug in after Miz, and so I never got past the Mmmmm." Miss Snider never used her "title". It was totally Jay's use of "Miss" and he (I) could never get used to calling her Gladys. Ihope that clears it up.
Thank you, Paul. I appreciate your kind words and the six stars!
Jay