Going Back
TIme traveling to a place I love to go as a child.16 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
What a very clever way, Beth, of going back into your 7 year child and conveying this very clear and evocative picture of the house and its contents. Your descriptive detail is excellent and, as ever, you've structured your prose in such an imaginative way that the reader is easily drawn in and fully engaged. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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What a very clever way, Beth, of going back into your 7 year child and conveying this very clear and evocative picture of the house and its contents. Your descriptive detail is excellent and, as ever, you've structured your prose in such an imaginative way that the reader is easily drawn in and fully engaged. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 28-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Thank you Debbie. I can see my grandparents house very clearly in my mine although it's been gone over 60 year. After they died, Dad saw it as an eyesore and had it torn down.
Beth
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Thank you Debbie. I can see my grandparents house very clearly in my mine although it's been gone over 60 year. After they died, Dad saw it as an eyesore and had it torn down.
Beth
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting visit to the past. Cool machine your Jason made. You seem to remember the house very well. I know I remember Grandma's house like it was yesterday. Good job taking us on a walking tour of your Grandfolks house.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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This is an interesting visit to the past. Cool machine your Jason made. You seem to remember the house very well. I know I remember Grandma's house like it was yesterday. Good job taking us on a walking tour of your Grandfolks house.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023
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Thank you Carol, I will never forget that house. It was my favorite place to be. It was just five minute bike ride from the house I grew up in.
Beth
Comment from RodG
I really like your novel method of setting the scene through time travel. You definitely PUT US THERE in your grandparents' house. Your attention to detail brings everything into sharp focus. A strong entry in this contest. Rod
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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I really like your novel method of setting the scene through time travel. You definitely PUT US THERE in your grandparents' house. Your attention to detail brings everything into sharp focus. A strong entry in this contest. Rod
Comment Written 25-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2023
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Thank you Rod. I really appreciate the review. There were some excellent entries in the contest. This won a third place. I was hoping for a couple mre reviews.
Beth
Comment from Paul Manton
Well, I liked this wonderfully reflective piece - and I also admired your entry point with Jason's time machine - though I had a few worries that you might turn up at Gettysburg or Agincourt!
Fortunately not - but at your ten-year old self's family home.
I assume now that these are real Beth memories - they are so focused that it's hard to think this is in any way fiction. [one minor typo - about para 9, you need a WHITE (?) iron bed frame
A good idea, to start outside the house, as every visitor would, describe the exterior, and then walk up the two steps (note your surprise) into the interior. It makes it more interesting that you have accompanying memories for each individual room or fixture - so the fireplace, the clock, the walls all have their reactions form grown-up you.
And, of course, the most important things for you are those belonging to those no longer alive in your modern day: those are described with great sensitivity.
I found your memories really engrossing, Beth - a real window on a past rather removed from my British roots. Sadly, my grandparents all died long before I was born - so perhaps I am doubly interested to hear your childhood memories. For me, 'going back' is not an option, with or without a time machine.
Thank you for a fascinating memoir.
Paul
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Well, I liked this wonderfully reflective piece - and I also admired your entry point with Jason's time machine - though I had a few worries that you might turn up at Gettysburg or Agincourt!
Fortunately not - but at your ten-year old self's family home.
I assume now that these are real Beth memories - they are so focused that it's hard to think this is in any way fiction. [one minor typo - about para 9, you need a WHITE (?) iron bed frame
A good idea, to start outside the house, as every visitor would, describe the exterior, and then walk up the two steps (note your surprise) into the interior. It makes it more interesting that you have accompanying memories for each individual room or fixture - so the fireplace, the clock, the walls all have their reactions form grown-up you.
And, of course, the most important things for you are those belonging to those no longer alive in your modern day: those are described with great sensitivity.
I found your memories really engrossing, Beth - a real window on a past rather removed from my British roots. Sadly, my grandparents all died long before I was born - so perhaps I am doubly interested to hear your childhood memories. For me, 'going back' is not an option, with or without a time machine.
Thank you for a fascinating memoir.
Paul
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Thank you Paul. Yes these are real memories. The house has been gone over fifty years but it lives on in my mind. I spent may happy days there as a child.
Beth
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Beautifully written, Beth.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I perfectly understand why would you choose the grandma as that place to go and feel like home. Thank you for sharing and congrats. Good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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I perfectly understand why would you choose the grandma as that place to go and feel like home. Thank you for sharing and congrats. Good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2023
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Thank you Iza. Contgrats to you as well. Five member dollars is better than nothing.
Beth
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
If only we could go back and experience another time and place, I would love to have a time machine, but I reckon going forward would be far more interesting. I enjoyed your inventive post, a really good read, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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If only we could go back and experience another time and place, I would love to have a time machine, but I reckon going forward would be far more interesting. I enjoyed your inventive post, a really good read, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 21-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the review. I wish tiem travel was possible too. We know we survived the past, but who know what lies in the future. It might be really scary.
Comment from Dr. Nad
Wow, this had such a very nice homespun flavor to it. I just loved it. I love the fact that you looked with fresh eyes at I scene that was quaint and routine when you were seven. You found new twists to the joys of the past. I enjoyed the time travel aspect and the realism of modern day concern for and out of control government. This was just wonderful all the way around. If I had a six, I would give it to you! It's Friday you know, and who keeps a six in their back pocket until now? Oh well L. O. L.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Wow, this had such a very nice homespun flavor to it. I just loved it. I love the fact that you looked with fresh eyes at I scene that was quaint and routine when you were seven. You found new twists to the joys of the past. I enjoyed the time travel aspect and the realism of modern day concern for and out of control government. This was just wonderful all the way around. If I had a six, I would give it to you! It's Friday you know, and who keeps a six in their back pocket until now? Oh well L. O. L.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much for a great review. It looks like you had a six in your back pocket after all. I'm certainly pleased that you liked my story, and that you gave it to me.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very nice descriptions of a very nice and friendly time.
(except for the war going on)
How did you get the spacing for the last paragraph?
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Very nice descriptions of a very nice and friendly time.
(except for the war going on)
How did you get the spacing for the last paragraph?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Thank you Wayne. It was the way in came out when I transferred it from word but I've corrected it. Thanks for pointing it out.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This was a captivating trip back in time, with a detailed description of a house from long ago. You put the reader in the house as you moved from room to room. It was easy to envision the rocking chairs, tin roof, the mantle clock, and Singer sewing machine. The wide-planked floor and linoleum sounded like where I grew up. You provided a great description. Best wishes in the contest.
That while iron head and footboard look outdated (while iron head)?
rockers in the front of the of fireplace (remove the second 'of')
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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This was a captivating trip back in time, with a detailed description of a house from long ago. You put the reader in the house as you moved from room to room. It was easy to envision the rocking chairs, tin roof, the mantle clock, and Singer sewing machine. The wide-planked floor and linoleum sounded like where I grew up. You provided a great description. Best wishes in the contest.
That while iron head and footboard look outdated (while iron head)?
rockers in the front of the of fireplace (remove the second 'of')
Comment Written 21-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Thank you for the review and comments. I glad you liked it. I'm glad you pointed out the spags.
Comment from WendyLea
The descriptions brought the old place alive. I could picture all of it as you walked through the house. So many of those memories reminded me of my own youth. I thought the story was great!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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The descriptions brought the old place alive. I could picture all of it as you walked through the house. So many of those memories reminded me of my own youth. I thought the story was great!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2023
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Thank you Wendy. I'm glad you enjoyed my story.