California Bound
A tale about first wagon train to California17 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a long read, but I can't see how it can be shortened and still keep the strong emotions. They were all brave to explore West and open it to others. It uses imagery and vernacular well.
Congratulations on the well deserved contest win
Hope you are enjoying the Holiday season
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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This is a long read, but I can't see how it can be shortened and still keep the strong emotions. They were all brave to explore West and open it to others. It uses imagery and vernacular well.
Congratulations on the well deserved contest win
Hope you are enjoying the Holiday season
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 26-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much, dragonpoet, for your wonderful response to my story and the congrats. I often write about the pioneers because, as you said, they were " all brave to explore the West and open it up to others." I also much appreciate the six bright stars. Rod
Comment from Spitfire
What a fantastic write. Your characters are well-developed. The protagonist is the setting. I suffered with these people as they struggled to survive in the mountains and endure the harsh weather. This becomes a love story too as Nancy remains faithful to her husband's dreams. Thanks for including the notes. Did history record what happened to the infant?
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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What a fantastic write. Your characters are well-developed. The protagonist is the setting. I suffered with these people as they struggled to survive in the mountains and endure the harsh weather. This becomes a love story too as Nancy remains faithful to her husband's dreams. Thanks for including the notes. Did history record what happened to the infant?
Comment Written 11-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much, Spitfire, for taking the time to read my lengthy frontier story and your marvelous review. I also appreciate that six-star bonus. The infant did grow up and the Kelseys became a prominent family in California. Rod
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This is a wonderfully envisaged acount of one of the earliest Westward bound emigrants to arrive in California. The deprivation and horrors faced by these early travellers are very vivdly conveyed.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
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This is a wonderfully envisaged acount of one of the earliest Westward bound emigrants to arrive in California. The deprivation and horrors faced by these early travellers are very vivdly conveyed.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much, Sarah, for your lavish praise of my story. I am thrilled you think the account is "wonderfully envisaged." Rod
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Well, my knowledge of this part of American history is mainly from Steinbeck whose work I greatly admire!
Your account seemed very heroic and credible.
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Steinbeck is the author I most admired when I was young. I spent much time researching this tale. I am glad my telling seems credible.
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Yes, sorry a typo!
Comment from jmdg1954
I saw on the opening page your entry was the contest winner. Quite the long read but every word was worth the journey.
Congratulations on the win. Well deserved!
Cheers, John
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
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I saw on the opening page your entry was the contest winner. Quite the long read but every word was worth the journey.
Congratulations on the win. Well deserved!
Cheers, John
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much, John, for taking the time to read my lengthy account of this westward journey. I am truly honored you think my windows well deserved. Rod
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
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 A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry. |
Comment Written 08-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
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Achieving this kind of recognition makes me giddy. I truly thank all the members of the Committee. Rod
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry. You did a great job describing what the earlier settlers went through. Great writing. I enjoyed reading and wish you the best of luck with this contest entry.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry. You did a great job describing what the earlier settlers went through. Great writing. I enjoyed reading and wish you the best of luck with this contest entry.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Thank you so much, Barbara, for taking the time to read and review my lengthy story. I am glad you enjoyed reading it and I appreciate your praise. Rod
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Rod,
You get my last six of the week. I have to admit, I looked at the length of your story two previous times before I had the resolve to read it. But once I began, I couldn't stop. It is well-written, as good as any Zane Grey or Louis L'amour novel.
Nancy Kelsey was a very strong woman. Without her, I don't believe her husband, Ben, or baby Ann would have survived. But bare feet in winter weather? Could she really do that and not lose a few toes to a hunting knife?
It sounds like they had nothing left when they reached California. Yet, they were excited that trees in the valley below had big fat oranges hanging from branches. How does a family continue from almost nothing? Our ancestors were a hardy bunch. We couldn't do it today. We're too spoiled with fast food restaurants on every corner and Visa cards. But times are getting tougher. Gas and grocery prices are going up. Taxes, too. Everybody wants your money, even when you have none.
I was a bit disappointed that Ben spoke so roughly to his wife. His softer side showed up later on, but in dismal situations, he didn't seem able to handle his emotions.
I'd be surprised if you don't win this contest. You show the human spirit to overcome misfortune and survive. Not since I watched that 1972 movie, "Jeremiah Johnson", starring Robert Redford, have I seen the hopelessness of someone portrayed so well as you've done here with Nancy Kelsey. I recall that mountain man trying to catch a trout in a snow-bordered stream with his bare hands. Feet soaked and frozen in that cold water, he splashed up and down in a panic, finally juggling a slippery speckled fish that didn't want to be caught. And then, seeing that Indian, Paints His Shirt Red (Joaquin Martinez), aboard his white horse watching amused by the antics of this novice woodsman. But when you're at the bottom, the only way is up. You keep going, one foot in front of the other. Fortitude. It's deep inside us. And some of us have enough to go around when others lose it.
Nicely penned, Rod! Thanks for sharing. And Good Luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Hi Rod,
You get my last six of the week. I have to admit, I looked at the length of your story two previous times before I had the resolve to read it. But once I began, I couldn't stop. It is well-written, as good as any Zane Grey or Louis L'amour novel.
Nancy Kelsey was a very strong woman. Without her, I don't believe her husband, Ben, or baby Ann would have survived. But bare feet in winter weather? Could she really do that and not lose a few toes to a hunting knife?
It sounds like they had nothing left when they reached California. Yet, they were excited that trees in the valley below had big fat oranges hanging from branches. How does a family continue from almost nothing? Our ancestors were a hardy bunch. We couldn't do it today. We're too spoiled with fast food restaurants on every corner and Visa cards. But times are getting tougher. Gas and grocery prices are going up. Taxes, too. Everybody wants your money, even when you have none.
I was a bit disappointed that Ben spoke so roughly to his wife. His softer side showed up later on, but in dismal situations, he didn't seem able to handle his emotions.
I'd be surprised if you don't win this contest. You show the human spirit to overcome misfortune and survive. Not since I watched that 1972 movie, "Jeremiah Johnson", starring Robert Redford, have I seen the hopelessness of someone portrayed so well as you've done here with Nancy Kelsey. I recall that mountain man trying to catch a trout in a snow-bordered stream with his bare hands. Feet soaked and frozen in that cold water, he splashed up and down in a panic, finally juggling a slippery speckled fish that didn't want to be caught. And then, seeing that Indian, Paints His Shirt Red (Joaquin Martinez), aboard his white horse watching amused by the antics of this novice woodsman. But when you're at the bottom, the only way is up. You keep going, one foot in front of the other. Fortitude. It's deep inside us. And some of us have enough to go around when others lose it.
Nicely penned, Rod! Thanks for sharing. And Good Luck in the contest!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 02-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Wow and double Wow! I am truly honored, Kimbob, to being favorably compared to my favorite western writer Louis L?Amour. I am also very pleased you were not deterred by the length of my story and went back a third time. Many thanks, too, for your last sixer.
Nancy was a true heroine and I really wanted to do her justice by telling her story. I am so glad you think I did. Rod
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting story you have crafted out of a historical crossing of the Sierra Nevadas. One woman with an infant and all those men must have felt very alone. I'm not quite sure I buy her having crossed the mountains shoeless. I think she would have fashioned footwear from some of the deer hide. Rawhide stinks but it is tough.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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This is an interesting story you have crafted out of a historical crossing of the Sierra Nevadas. One woman with an infant and all those men must have felt very alone. I'm not quite sure I buy her having crossed the mountains shoeless. I think she would have fashioned footwear from some of the deer hide. Rawhide stinks but it is tough.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Many thanks, Carol, for taking the time to read my lengthy story. I am glad you found it interesting and appreciate your commentary about her going shoeless. Rod
Comment from Ric Myworld
As always, your descriptive writing is as good as it gets and made me feel like I was right there in the action the whole time. I just wish I had a six to reward it properly. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
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As always, your descriptive writing is as good as it gets and made me feel like I was right there in the action the whole time. I just wish I had a six to reward it properly. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
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Ric, I am so pleased you enjoyed my lengthy story and appreciate your virtual six-star rating. Many thanks for your continual support. Rod
Comment from Mark D. R.
OK Rod!
I rarely read AND review longer poems or stories. But, I go hooked into your Donder Party-like saga. You described how it must have been to travel 4-6 months to get to Oregon or California - trials and tribulations galore.
Of course, your post got me to research the internet for the Donder-Perry party saga. The Argentinian air crash with soccer team members had similar circumstances, but in modern times.
Your story really hooked me in - thanks!
I have a genealogical link to family who arrived in America as early as mid-1850s. Some eventually settled in Denver by early 1860s. Others stayed in western Missouri. Obviously, they too traveled by wagon train (or river travel). I do not benefit from their personal accounts.
Mark
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
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OK Rod!
I rarely read AND review longer poems or stories. But, I go hooked into your Donder Party-like saga. You described how it must have been to travel 4-6 months to get to Oregon or California - trials and tribulations galore.
Of course, your post got me to research the internet for the Donder-Perry party saga. The Argentinian air crash with soccer team members had similar circumstances, but in modern times.
Your story really hooked me in - thanks!
I have a genealogical link to family who arrived in America as early as mid-1850s. Some eventually settled in Denver by early 1860s. Others stayed in western Missouri. Obviously, they too traveled by wagon train (or river travel). I do not benefit from their personal accounts.
Mark
Comment Written 30-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2022
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Mark, I am honored and thrilled that you spent the time reading my lengthy story. I am so pleased I hooked your attention and kept it throughout. I also very much appreciate that six-star bonus. I have seen the Donner Party memorial park and have read their story. They traveled the same route as the Kelseys, but got snowbound five years later. Rod
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Rod,
You are most welcomed!
Mark