Sories Poetically Speaking
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "End of the Farnsworth Line"A complete story in written as a poem.
31 total reviews
Comment from karenina
No kidding, this is one of the best loop poems I've ever read! Meter and rhyme were excellent! The theme riveting...the moral of the story perfect! No wonder you won the contest! I came late to the party!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
No kidding, this is one of the best loop poems I've ever read! Meter and rhyme were excellent! The theme riveting...the moral of the story perfect! No wonder you won the contest! I came late to the party!
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Karenina. I truly appreciate you wonderful review. I'm delighted you liked this.
Beth
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And I'm delighted you won the contest! Even though I missed the vote! LOL---
Comment from Mary Shifman
It's a tragic story that I think has happened all too often, especially in the past when the father's word was law. I know it still happens today, too, but hopefully not so much. I don't know who the ladies in the picture are but they're clearly sisters and they look downright sour and if they are indeed, the Farnsworth sisters, who can blame them? In any case, they fit your poem perfectly.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
It's a tragic story that I think has happened all too often, especially in the past when the father's word was law. I know it still happens today, too, but hopefully not so much. I don't know who the ladies in the picture are but they're clearly sisters and they look downright sour and if they are indeed, the Farnsworth sisters, who can blame them? In any case, they fit your poem perfectly.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Mary, While doing my genealogy, I found quite a few ladies that never married. I know my grandmother didn't get the love of her life, because her dad didn't think him worthy. I hope it doesn't happen so often anymore. Some men seemed to think their daughters were their property for life.
Beth
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You are welcome. I know. It's a strange attitude to have in this day and age.
Comment from GWEnos
Lovely, just lovely. I wish I'd had thought of myself. I love the rhyme and rhythm of the poem. It is a perfect loop poem indeed. And it's not easy raising a daughter, or four. You can't be too strict, or they'll turn on ya. I know, we had four.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
Lovely, just lovely. I wish I'd had thought of myself. I love the rhyme and rhythm of the poem. It is a perfect loop poem indeed. And it's not easy raising a daughter, or four. You can't be too strict, or they'll turn on ya. I know, we had four.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I know there was a time tyrannical parents caused their daughters not to marry by feeling they owned them. I hope it doesn't happen as much these days.
Beth
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Nice poem and congrats on the win. Unfortunately the last lines - There, they realized they'd been blind.
Blind to follow Papa's pathway.
Pathway they weren't free to choose.
Choose too harshly; push your children.
Children, and yourself, will lose. - are true even today, when some kids must do what they parents choose.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
Nice poem and congrats on the win. Unfortunately the last lines - There, they realized they'd been blind.
Blind to follow Papa's pathway.
Pathway they weren't free to choose.
Choose too harshly; push your children.
Children, and yourself, will lose. - are true even today, when some kids must do what they parents choose.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
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Thank you Iza. I really appreciate you nice review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Beth!
What an exceptionally well-crafted Loop poem!
Flawless in execution. Every line flowed together so well.
And what a somber message! Those poor women!
I am sorry I missed your offering in December = Christmas preparations and too little time!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
Hello Beth!
What an exceptionally well-crafted Loop poem!
Flawless in execution. Every line flowed together so well.
And what a somber message! Those poor women!
I am sorry I missed your offering in December = Christmas preparations and too little time!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the great review on this poem. I had to same problem during December, plus a viral infection. Negative for Covid but still a downer.
Beth
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Beth.
Very Nice. This is a creative story in very good style. The language and the description of the daughters and Papa are both really well conceived and written. Great job and congratulations.
Robert
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
Hello Beth.
Very Nice. This is a creative story in very good style. The language and the description of the daughters and Papa are both really well conceived and written. Great job and congratulations.
Robert
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
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Thank you Robert, I really appreciate the review and comments on my poem.
Beth
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You're welcome.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is an excellent loop poem. The Farnsworth maids never smiled they never spoke unless spoken to. They dressed unattractively so that no beaus would come to call! This loop poem illustrated the old-fashioned way to raise your girls. How sad is that? Their haircuts and their social ways kept them childless to their dying days. So, remember to let your children choose their lifestyles! Do not hamper their growth!
Well written and a wonderful historical account of how women used to be squeltered by their fathers.
Have a free loving day,
Jesse
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
This is an excellent loop poem. The Farnsworth maids never smiled they never spoke unless spoken to. They dressed unattractively so that no beaus would come to call! This loop poem illustrated the old-fashioned way to raise your girls. How sad is that? Their haircuts and their social ways kept them childless to their dying days. So, remember to let your children choose their lifestyles! Do not hamper their growth!
Well written and a wonderful historical account of how women used to be squeltered by their fathers.
Have a free loving day,
Jesse
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much Jesse, I truly appreciate this review because it gives me the twenty-five I need to have it promoted, I hope. Your words mean a lot. The contest is over so I can sign my name.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
What a sobering story told in your well crafted looping poem! This should have been in the contest! I agree that we should not superimpose ourselves on our children. Each person is completely unique. Parenting teaches us that!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
What a sobering story told in your well crafted looping poem! This should have been in the contest! I agree that we should not superimpose ourselves on our children. Each person is completely unique. Parenting teaches us that!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Helen. I really appreciate the review and comments. It is in the contest which ends shortly. I hope you voted.
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Oh I didn't know it was for the contest! I'll go check now. thanks!
Comment from Gee
Very nice lesson in a poem.
Yes, parents want the best for their children, but children always seem to find their own path, hopefully.
Thanks for sharing, I appreciate the poem
A good life lesson.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
Very nice lesson in a poem.
Yes, parents want the best for their children, but children always seem to find their own path, hopefully.
Thanks for sharing, I appreciate the poem
A good life lesson.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. Some parents seem to the they have the option of choosing.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
WELL DONE! I almost always read the author's notes first - they often give great insight into a post. Unfortunately, they can also cloud or color my emotions, too. I am not a fan of certain poetry forms so when I see some types of contests listed below, I literally groan inwardly. Loop poems are one of the groaners because people rarely do them well.
Just repeating the last word onto the first line does NOT make a loop poem. The challenge is to take that last word and turn it into a new meaning on the next line! And -- YAY! -- you've accomplished that here. Thank you!!!
Great job - horrible story - and a wonderful entry. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
Dear Mystery Writer,
WELL DONE! I almost always read the author's notes first - they often give great insight into a post. Unfortunately, they can also cloud or color my emotions, too. I am not a fan of certain poetry forms so when I see some types of contests listed below, I literally groan inwardly. Loop poems are one of the groaners because people rarely do them well.
Just repeating the last word onto the first line does NOT make a loop poem. The challenge is to take that last word and turn it into a new meaning on the next line! And -- YAY! -- you've accomplished that here. Thank you!!!
Great job - horrible story - and a wonderful entry. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much, Robyn. I really appreciate your review and comments on this poem.