Poisoned Parasol
I thought I'd gotten away with it...126 total reviews
Comment from Writingfundimension
I love the revenge scenario that play itself out so well in this poem, Dean. As always, your rhymes are exemplary, and you have managed to creep me out!~ :) Bev
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I love the revenge scenario that play itself out so well in this poem, Dean. As always, your rhymes are exemplary, and you have managed to creep me out!~ :) Bev
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from royowen
Great piece of writing Dean, the narrative is beautifully written, the theme is mmmh. The reward for these writings tends to be very rewarding Dean, I wonder if you wrote Christian ones they would be....? The language used is sublime, the rhyming and rhythm is first class, very good delivery, blessings, Roy.
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Great piece of writing Dean, the narrative is beautifully written, the theme is mmmh. The reward for these writings tends to be very rewarding Dean, I wonder if you wrote Christian ones they would be....? The language used is sublime, the rhyming and rhythm is first class, very good delivery, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from Eric1
Hey Dean this is a real cracker of a poem my friend, the ex coming back to visit after you've bumped her off, Great rhyming, imagery and description, Outstanding artwork and a brilliant mind at work, what a combination!!
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Hey Dean this is a real cracker of a poem my friend, the ex coming back to visit after you've bumped her off, Great rhyming, imagery and description, Outstanding artwork and a brilliant mind at work, what a combination!!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from fdgsr
The impact and imagery alone give this a 5 star. Technically, I leave it to the experts to judge. My role is to judge the impact and the poetic quality as it comes through the gimmickry or poetic grace. You got me with this one. The lateral images are immaculate in their detail after development in the mind. I love it. Thank you.
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The impact and imagery alone give this a 5 star. Technically, I leave it to the experts to judge. My role is to judge the impact and the poetic quality as it comes through the gimmickry or poetic grace. You got me with this one. The lateral images are immaculate in their detail after development in the mind. I love it. Thank you.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from judiverse
Oh, this is cold as a tombstone. Serves the narrator right that wifey came back as a ghost. He admits to her murder. We learn that she was younger and also wealthy. Great description of the ghost as she makes her presence known. She scares the philandering guy to death. Serves him right. Excellent AABB rhyme throughout, and it does have a creepy mood to it. Great "ing" words twirling, whirling, swirling, kneeling, reeling Well worth six scars--I mean stars. judi
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Oh, this is cold as a tombstone. Serves the narrator right that wifey came back as a ghost. He admits to her murder. We learn that she was younger and also wealthy. Great description of the ghost as she makes her presence known. She scares the philandering guy to death. Serves him right. Excellent AABB rhyme throughout, and it does have a creepy mood to it. Great "ing" words twirling, whirling, swirling, kneeling, reeling Well worth six scars--I mean stars. judi
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from harmony13
Hi Dean, Excellent Poem! The author's words are creative, descriptive and intense. The artwork is exceptional and compliments well the theme of this poem. I didn't know where FanStory Classic is but felt the poem deserved a 5 rating no matter what!
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Hi Dean, Excellent Poem! The author's words are creative, descriptive and intense. The artwork is exceptional and compliments well the theme of this poem. I didn't know where FanStory Classic is but felt the poem deserved a 5 rating no matter what!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from Oatmeal
Dean Kuch
Atmosphere is full of vivid and delightful descriptions. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it. Emotional reflections are insightful and impressive.
It is perfectly written and completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
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Dean Kuch
Atmosphere is full of vivid and delightful descriptions. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it. Emotional reflections are insightful and impressive.
It is perfectly written and completely error free.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from bob cullen
Dean you are a master of this genre. Your rhyme and meter always balance.
I couldn't get onto classicFanStory, it seems I have lost the link and therefore I was unable to read the missing two lines. Nonetheless it was extraordinarily good.
I must remember never to piss you off, with your imagination I fear such a bad review could well bring about a gruesome ending.
You are a very gifted writer
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Dean you are a master of this genre. Your rhyme and meter always balance.
I couldn't get onto classicFanStory, it seems I have lost the link and therefore I was unable to read the missing two lines. Nonetheless it was extraordinarily good.
I must remember never to piss you off, with your imagination I fear such a bad review could well bring about a gruesome ending.
You are a very gifted writer
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from LadyCosgrove
A suitably fitting end for a foolish philanderer - I like it!
I'm not liking this new site one little bit. It doesn't work properly so it's more trouble than it's worth. I much preferred a comfortable place to focus on the writing, to wasting precious hours on what seems to be an ability test.
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A suitably fitting end for a foolish philanderer - I like it!
I'm not liking this new site one little bit. It doesn't work properly so it's more trouble than it's worth. I much preferred a comfortable place to focus on the writing, to wasting precious hours on what seems to be an ability test.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
Comment from kiwisteveh
Certainly a s-s-s-scary tale of revenge from beyond the grave. Your description of the serpentine horror was bloodcurdling, although you didn't really explain the snake images - I suppose it just evokes terror in most people.
The parasol, also, I found a little out of place - it gives a sense of setting in time, but really doesn't add much to the tale besides that.
Steve
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2014
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Certainly a s-s-s-scary tale of revenge from beyond the grave. Your description of the serpentine horror was bloodcurdling, although you didn't really explain the snake images - I suppose it just evokes terror in most people.
The parasol, also, I found a little out of place - it gives a sense of setting in time, but really doesn't add much to the tale besides that.
Steve
Comment Written 07-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2014
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Kasa-obake are mythical ghosts in Japanese folklore. They are sometimes considered a tsukumogami that old umbrellas turn into. This is what inspired the poem. Many seem to get offended when you include extensive author's notes, and get very pissy about it. It would have taken extensive notes to explain this ancient myth, and I simply wanted to allow the poem to stand on its own, Steve. That's about all there is to it.
But, now you know, and knowing is always half the battle, right? If you want to know more, I suggest you Google the legend yourself, Steve. Thanks so much for putting your two-cents worth in.
It's always such a pleasure.
Dean