~Stygian Kingdom of Woes~
Death hath no mercy...106 total reviews
Comment from nor84
Beautifully written and artistic. I can't find a thing I'd change, Dean, so you get one of my VERY rare sixers! I hope you enjoy it.
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Beautifully written and artistic. I can't find a thing I'd change, Dean, so you get one of my VERY rare sixers! I hope you enjoy it.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from rjpurdy
Wow Dean! This is really dark and brooding (stygian.) I had to look that one up. Your poem flows well and has good progression. The authors notes are invaluable in this write, thank you. The incredible art work and music brings this piece of work to life...or death as the case may be. Amazing work my friend. Rod
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Wow Dean! This is really dark and brooding (stygian.) I had to look that one up. Your poem flows well and has good progression. The authors notes are invaluable in this write, thank you. The incredible art work and music brings this piece of work to life...or death as the case may be. Amazing work my friend. Rod
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from wayne riley
Awesome... I loved the darkness and the feeling that no one is immune from death. Whoever they may be. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your work. X
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Awesome... I loved the darkness and the feeling that no one is immune from death. Whoever they may be. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your work. X
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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And I will look forward to seeing more insightful feedback such as this from you, Wayne. Much obliged, my friend. :} ~Dean
Comment from Leineco
Outstanding opening stanza! Sucked me right in :-)
It does seem, all too often, this creature called death seduces the innocent - exploiting their pain and regrets. Or takes the meritorious. Or simply finds joy in causing misery for those left behind. You have cloaked him/it well in iniquity.
I did have a nagging problem with S6L2 (it'd been worth living, if only they'd tried.
it'd being the contraction for it had the resulting sentence is off kilter, verb tense wise. (i.e. It had been worth living, if only they tried)
I tried to get a confirmed answer, but couldn't track it down. . .so this is just my gut feeling: It seems to me the contraction for "it would have been" would be it've been.
Or in the alternative why not go with "I'd be worth living, if they only tried" ?
Just a small niggle :-)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Outstanding opening stanza! Sucked me right in :-)
It does seem, all too often, this creature called death seduces the innocent - exploiting their pain and regrets. Or takes the meritorious. Or simply finds joy in causing misery for those left behind. You have cloaked him/it well in iniquity.
I did have a nagging problem with S6L2 (it'd been worth living, if only they'd tried.
it'd being the contraction for it had the resulting sentence is off kilter, verb tense wise. (i.e. It had been worth living, if only they tried)
I tried to get a confirmed answer, but couldn't track it down. . .so this is just my gut feeling: It seems to me the contraction for "it would have been" would be it've been.
Or in the alternative why not go with "I'd be worth living, if they only tried" ?
Just a small niggle :-)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thanks for the excellent feedback, Lorraine. I will look into editing that line, see what I can do with it...
Much obliged for the R&R, my friend. "}
Comment from nancy_e_davis
No, you don't want to go down that road! My little dictionary doesn't have the word osseous in it. I assume it has something to do with bones. LOL I have read that a person contemplating suicide starts giving stuff away that he/she holds dear.Good warning to all about helping those who are in danger of taking their own life. :<) Nancy PS. Spell check doesn't have that word either.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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No, you don't want to go down that road! My little dictionary doesn't have the word osseous in it. I assume it has something to do with bones. LOL I have read that a person contemplating suicide starts giving stuff away that he/she holds dear.Good warning to all about helping those who are in danger of taking their own life. :<) Nancy PS. Spell check doesn't have that word either.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/osseous
You can go to the official page and view the link by copying the above link and pasting it into your browser, Nancy, and I have also provided the definition of the word for you below...
osseous [os-ee-uh s]
Word Origin: Latin
adjective
1.composed of, containing, or resembling bone; bony.
~Dean :}
As always, I appreciate you comments.
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LOL That's what I thought. Thanks Dean. I could have done that. I love learning new words don't you?
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Yes, I certainly do, Nancy, and that particular word I have used on a couple of other occasions, from posts here dating back to 2013, I believe. It was used in "The Greatest Show from Hell", in the fourth stanza. You can read it here sometime, if you like...
http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=631064
Comment from Ric Myworld
In our fast-paced society of unlimited exposure, dealing with more than delicate, young, and scared minds should ever have to, rash, inexperienced decisions are made. Resulting in death, and heartbreak for those left to morn. Last year, in the city where I live, seven children from the same school made a pack to commit suicide. Two of those bright, young, babes, fifteen years of age and younger, I had known their whole life. Thanks for another great poem. :-)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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In our fast-paced society of unlimited exposure, dealing with more than delicate, young, and scared minds should ever have to, rash, inexperienced decisions are made. Resulting in death, and heartbreak for those left to morn. Last year, in the city where I live, seven children from the same school made a pack to commit suicide. Two of those bright, young, babes, fifteen years of age and younger, I had known their whole life. Thanks for another great poem. :-)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Ric. it's always a pleasure.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Dean, as usual you have created something special in this ghoulish tale of the styx and where it flows to, but this time you have actually built in a moralistic tale, It has the most wonderful flow, fantastic rhyming and wonderful rhythm, A story well told by the Master of horror!
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Hi Dean, as usual you have created something special in this ghoulish tale of the styx and where it flows to, but this time you have actually built in a moralistic tale, It has the most wonderful flow, fantastic rhyming and wonderful rhythm, A story well told by the Master of horror!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from GE Parson
DK,
I don't know what to say about your writings. I was impressed with the moving art work. Wondering how you add it to you writing.
Your authors no was excellent advise. I've been friends with some who have taken their lives into their own hands, thinking that' the answer to their problems, not realizing id they are unsaved, they have a jumped out of the skillet into the fire.
Have a nice week end, Jerry
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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DK,
I don't know what to say about your writings. I was impressed with the moving art work. Wondering how you add it to you writing.
Your authors no was excellent advise. I've been friends with some who have taken their lives into their own hands, thinking that' the answer to their problems, not realizing id they are unsaved, they have a jumped out of the skillet into the fire.
Have a nice week end, Jerry
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thanks, Jerry, I appreciate your response, my friend . I've had several family members and one good, dear friend who was like a brother to me take their lives. It is never an easy thing to deal with, the death of someone you love dearly. But with suicide, it seems so senseless.
Thanks again for your R&R. You have a blessed week as well.
Comment from kiwijenny
Dean this is worth a six for your author notes alone. This poem may save a life and a relationship......
I loved my kids so much and conversation was the best part.
I miss them now they have their own families.
God bless
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Dean this is worth a six for your author notes alone. This poem may save a life and a relationship......
I loved my kids so much and conversation was the best part.
I miss them now they have their own families.
God bless
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from Oatmeal
Dean,
Well chosen words, colorful arrangement and wonderfully decorated thoughts. Very enchanted atmosphere, non-judgmental, thought provoking, very enjoyable and thrilling.
There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.
Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
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Dean,
Well chosen words, colorful arrangement and wonderfully decorated thoughts. Very enchanted atmosphere, non-judgmental, thought provoking, very enjoyable and thrilling.
There was no SPAG. No room for improvement.
Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014