My Own Hell
It's where I live daily...70 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
Remind me to stay out of your kitchen. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very chilling read.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Remind me to stay out of your kitchen. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very chilling read.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Hey Charlie...stay out of my kitchen.
Ask, and ye shall receive, my friend. Or so I've been told.
Thanks for your comments, Charlie.
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LOL. I'll do my bestest, Dean. Charlie
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:}
Comment from Michaelk
This Poem made me think of 'Poe', especially the first stanza. It had the rhythm and feel of 'The Raven'. From there on it felt like a car chase, with the high tension and dodging bullets. Nice tension throughout, smooth rhythm, good rhyme. An excellent poem, especially for something you just cooked up.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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This Poem made me think of 'Poe', especially the first stanza. It had the rhythm and feel of 'The Raven'. From there on it felt like a car chase, with the high tension and dodging bullets. Nice tension throughout, smooth rhythm, good rhyme. An excellent poem, especially for something you just cooked up.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thank you, God! There is hope for humanity's literary prowess after all!
That it should, Michaelk, because I copied his pattern exactly.
You're very wise, nice pick-up. You are the only one to have mentioned that.
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I'm just glad that I could restore your faith in humanity in some small way. :)
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:} Me too, LOL...
Comment from NurseBarb
Scary presentation, just as it should be. Makes the reader wonder what's Dean up to for this one. As usual, you didn't disappoint. The poem is dark and scary, and oh yeah, written great.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Scary presentation, just as it should be. Makes the reader wonder what's Dean up to for this one. As usual, you didn't disappoint. The poem is dark and scary, and oh yeah, written great.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thanks, NB. I appreciate the read and review.
Comment from padumachitta
Hey Dean. It is a super poem. I like the way the words turn and squirm and rearrange. It made me go through twice and you know, it scares me a little that I understand it.
Well, my interpretation anyway...I can suffer a little from a sort of sprial shitthinkg depression, where I build my own hell out of my own thoughts...think I will put this on my board as a remeinder not to 'talk myself' into hell...
thanks
padumachitta
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Hey Dean. It is a super poem. I like the way the words turn and squirm and rearrange. It made me go through twice and you know, it scares me a little that I understand it.
Well, my interpretation anyway...I can suffer a little from a sort of sprial shitthinkg depression, where I build my own hell out of my own thoughts...think I will put this on my board as a remeinder not to 'talk myself' into hell...
thanks
padumachitta
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thanks, padu. I'm used to living there now, but it took some time getting...adjusted, so to speak.
Thanks for the read & review.
Comment from Andrewajgblue
It's great to see you back to what you do best, poetry horror!! I really loved all the internal rhyme and the superb rhythm that this has, and I liked how the last word of the first line repeated on the second, wonder horror,
Thank you
Andrew
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It's great to see you back to what you do best, poetry horror!! I really loved all the internal rhyme and the superb rhythm that this has, and I liked how the last word of the first line repeated on the second, wonder horror,
Thank you
Andrew
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
Comment from Domino 2
At least this suffering loonie is remorseful for his vile thoughts, Dean, and I'm sure we all have them at times to some extent.
He's clever at blaming them on a sort of 3rd party devil that inhabits his mind - and he may be right. Who knows?
Brilliant dramatic and shocking vocabulary make this a must read.
Excellent flow and format too, apart from the presentation which is amazing, as usual.
Best wishes, Ray.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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At least this suffering loonie is remorseful for his vile thoughts, Dean, and I'm sure we all have them at times to some extent.
He's clever at blaming them on a sort of 3rd party devil that inhabits his mind - and he may be right. Who knows?
Brilliant dramatic and shocking vocabulary make this a must read.
Excellent flow and format too, apart from the presentation which is amazing, as usual.
Best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Ray. I really don't know where this poem came from. It just sort of spilled out of me. I wrote it (or rather, it wrote itself?) in about five minutes. Oh well, it is what it is.
Thanks again.
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Blame it on your hidden demon, Dean. MWAHA!
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Ha ha, yeah, I suppose, Ray LOL. Although it ain't hidden all too well, me thinks.
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I don't believe in perfect angels, as I'm a grumpy old cynic at times. :-)
Comment from DSchlosser
It's really cool how you can take the person from their killing ways, introduce them to death, and have them see what happens to them after the pain they've caused. Nice poem!
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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It's really cool how you can take the person from their killing ways, introduce them to death, and have them see what happens to them after the pain they've caused. Nice poem!
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thank you, 'D'. This one just kind of spilled out of me. I really have no explanations as to where it came from. I wrote the whole thing in about five minutes.
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Sometimes good stuff just comes to us that we have to write down.
Comment from Eric1
A wonderful very descriptive and beautifully flowing piece of poetry Dean, I really don't know how you think them up, this one is very macabre. The rhyming is excellent as one would expect, but just a small suggestion, I think (personally) that the last two lines of stanza 5 sound and flow better as
Boiling roiling, muscles toil,
Toiling in this fetid soil.
Just a slight word change suggestion.
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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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A wonderful very descriptive and beautifully flowing piece of poetry Dean, I really don't know how you think them up, this one is very macabre. The rhyming is excellent as one would expect, but just a small suggestion, I think (personally) that the last two lines of stanza 5 sound and flow better as
Boiling roiling, muscles toil,
Toiling in this fetid soil.
Just a slight word change suggestion.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thanks, Eric, and thanks for the suggestion as well. I'll look into that. After all, I wrote it and posted it in about five minutes, so I'm sure there's room for improvements.
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Shit ... I thought I saw it all, until I saw and read this beauty. Your words were as great as the image. Oh ... my gosh, I'm laughing like hell. Count your doubloon, Dean.
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Shit ... I thought I saw it all, until I saw and read this beauty. Your words were as great as the image. Oh ... my gosh, I'm laughing like hell. Count your doubloon, Dean.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hey Dean,
Lips, up top doesn't think you cooked up anything out of the blue. The dude is seriously having issues! LOL.
This is nicely crafted. A fun, creepy read.
Hey, I have a question. I'm not doing something right, because I'm trying to put up a pix of the twins in the comments section of my homepage, but I'm not holding my mouth right or something, because I can't upload anything. If you don't mind my asking, how do you do that?
Cheers * Blessings
Keep Smilin'..... Jax
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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Hey Dean,
Lips, up top doesn't think you cooked up anything out of the blue. The dude is seriously having issues! LOL.
This is nicely crafted. A fun, creepy read.
Hey, I have a question. I'm not doing something right, because I'm trying to put up a pix of the twins in the comments section of my homepage, but I'm not holding my mouth right or something, because I can't upload anything. If you don't mind my asking, how do you do that?
Cheers * Blessings
Keep Smilin'..... Jax
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2014
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Thanks for the review, Jax. And this did just pop into my head, so I wrote it all down. Took all of five minutes. It is what it is...
You need to create a free account at photobucket.com. There, you can store photos in your library. They generate an html code for you which you can copy and paste into blogs, web pages, etc. Gungalo told me about it, and she used it extensively. Her account is still there and active.
That's about the only way that I know of. Again, it costs nothing but a user name and a password.
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Thx so much. Appreciate it, and I will do that. Cheers
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Cheers.
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Hey Dean
Thx so much. I got the Photo Bucket account up and going, and got those twins on board. Thx for your help. Cheers!
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Okay - I'm practicing. Not sure if this is gonna come out! Cheers!
