2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "haiku (flash sonic boom and)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
66 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
Chilling. Reminds me of a verse in the Bible -- Luke 10:18 And He said unto them, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven..."
Best wishes with an entry that is "charged".
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Chilling. Reminds me of a verse in the Bible -- Luke 10:18 And He said unto them, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven..."
Best wishes with an entry that is "charged".
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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I really appreciate your awesome review. :)
Comment from rjuselius
this is a fine entry for this particular writing propmt dear anonymous! i do love the satori, it brings to mind frakenstein, which i think is deliberate amd the whole point. very unique approach to the subject.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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this is a fine entry for this particular writing propmt dear anonymous! i do love the satori, it brings to mind frakenstein, which i think is deliberate amd the whole point. very unique approach to the subject.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Yes, Frankenstein famouse words. :) Thank you Rebekka, I really appreciate your awesome review. :)
Comment from c_lucas
The last line line only has three syllables. I have read the rules and you are justified. This is definitely about Lightning . There is good imagery. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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The last line line only has three syllables. I have read the rules and you are justified. This is definitely about Lightning . There is good imagery. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Yes, haikus can have less than the 17 syllables. Thank you c lucas, I really appreciate your awesome review. :)
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You're welcome,
Comment from Irish Goat
contemporary haiku structure with under 17 syllables (15) and minimalist capitalization and punctuation. 5-6-3 count in 9 words describes the thunder and lightning in sensory terms the reader can feel, see and hear. Well done
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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contemporary haiku structure with under 17 syllables (15) and minimalist capitalization and punctuation. 5-6-3 count in 9 words describes the thunder and lightning in sensory terms the reader can feel, see and hear. Well done
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you Irish Goat, I really appreciate your awesome review. :)
Comment from ericawrites
This is an excellent haiku poem
and a great response to the writing prompt.
Good connection between the first two lines.
Good last line.
The picture complements it well.
Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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This is an excellent haiku poem
and a great response to the writing prompt.
Good connection between the first two lines.
Good last line.
The picture complements it well.
Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you erica, I really appreciate your awesome review. :)
Comment from l.raven
WOW!!! you can almost feel the strikes...one of my favorite things is a thunderstorm....ass long as no one gets hurt...I love your wording and the picture is stunning...xxoo Luff Linda
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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WOW!!! you can almost feel the strikes...one of my favorite things is a thunderstorm....ass long as no one gets hurt...I love your wording and the picture is stunning...xxoo Luff Linda
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you Linda, I really appreciate your awesome review. :)
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you are so very welcome...xxoo luff
Comment from Nosha17
Good use of descriptive words to convey the theme of lightning. It is a rather dramatic occurrence and a bit scary. Excellent picture to illustrate. Good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Good use of descriptive words to convey the theme of lightning. It is a rather dramatic occurrence and a bit scary. Excellent picture to illustrate. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much Faye, I appreciate your review. ;)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a good image.
-Good format and presentation for your poem.
-You have a vivid way to begin your haiku with strong words.
-Good connection between lines one and two.
-Vivid image in line two.
-Excellent satori.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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-This is a good image.
-Good format and presentation for your poem.
-You have a vivid way to begin your haiku with strong words.
-Good connection between lines one and two.
-Vivid image in line two.
-Excellent satori.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you very much respa :)
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You are welcome.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Friend,
You have written a superior verse in the English language format based on the Japanese language haiku. It is less than 17 syllables and contains an ah ha moment calling thunder an "electric sonic boom"--an excellent metaphor. Good luck in the contest.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Hi, Friend,
You have written a superior verse in the English language format based on the Japanese language haiku. It is less than 17 syllables and contains an ah ha moment calling thunder an "electric sonic boom"--an excellent metaphor. Good luck in the contest.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for the awesome review and six stars! Wow! Thank you :)
Comment from Domino 2
There is only one writer I know of on site who regularly promotes 'shortie' writes so highly in contests, and I'm grateful for the 'reward'. :-)
You DO have an excellent knack at these, and this one is very powerful in its drama and personification.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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There is only one writer I know of on site who regularly promotes 'shortie' writes so highly in contests, and I'm grateful for the 'reward'. :-)
You DO have an excellent knack at these, and this one is very powerful in its drama and personification.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for the awesome review, Ray. I do love haiku, it's my favorite kind of poem.