Comment from pearlecat

Exceptional

Whew! I don't know where to begin or what to say with this one. Absolutely a standout in accompanying art and music. Rhyme and poetic verse equally outstanding. A show of written talent and presentation of the death rattle very well done! Pearl

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

Comment from flamingstar

Excellent

I think someone's getting ready for Halloween! I've done a lot of death bed vigils so I know what this is. Patients often start seeing deceased friends and family at this time which helps them prepare to let go of this world. Engaging, spooky rhyme (enhanced by the music!).

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Exceptional

Hi Dean - How can I not give you a 6 for such a well written poem with perfect rhyming couplets. I know about the death rattle - if you have lived and heard folks talking about their recently dead folk, this is what they talk about. Great pictures as usual. We always get value for money from you. Kind regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Aw, that's very sweet of you to say, Dorothy, and I can't tell you in mere words how delighted I am to know that you, at least, feel this way. I feel much the same way about your work, my friend.

Thanks for a review that has surely helped to make my day. I am eternally grateful, and as long as there are readers like you who appreciate what it is I try to do, I will keep trying harder, each and every time I post.

Thanks so much again, Dorothy. You've touched my heart, and that ain't an easy thing to do. :}

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hey Buckeye,

You can stop that death rattle by not letting your boa hug you soooo tightly! (*^*)

What is your snake's name - Bessie?? Eeeeeewwww, no pet snakes for this chickie. I'll stick with my wiener dog, Pepperoni!!

All kidding aside, this is a really good presentation. You're right, too, not so much humor in this one. But excellent work. Enjoyed it.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*^*)

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

Comment from Andrewajgblue

Exceptional

This is you at your best, absolutely spot in, fantastic alliteration, brilliant rhyming and a bone chilling message, i loved your pictures they really enhanced the story, but i loved " rotten, knotting, ashen knaves, " brilliant assonance, great writing,
Andrew

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Thanks so much for the wonderful review, Andrew. I really appreciate that, my dear friend, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Comment from Lovinia

Exceptional

OMG Dean

Pure genius in your entertainment value dear lad ..... i just picture myself in some fabulous dark old theatre ... sitting right in the middle .... popcorn of course .. alone ... no maybe not (eeeek!) and watching/listening to your poems on the Big Screen. I think you've created the most amazing art form in your work.

This one is super ... my heart is in my throat, hairs on end, of course writing with just my desk lamp ... all alone .... dark outside, the heavy rain clouds hiding the moon ... reading this and the horror haiku entries .... a scream bursts from my lips .... a macabre rattle at my door ... the wind whips at my window panes... oh gosh darn, I could never do it like you do. Great notes, I always enjoy the education behind your works. Splendid. Worth a super six. Hugs -- Lovi xoxoxo

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Aw, you're far too kind, Lovi. You make me blush, and I'm not accustomed to blushing, LOL.

Believe it or not, and contrary to popular opinion, this stuff does come from my heart. I feel very deeply about everything of this nature that I write, and try very hard to convey the message I'm trying to get across adequately. It's great to know there are those like yourself out there who appreciate it.

Thanks so much again for your very thoughtful review and the six stars. :)

XXX
ooo

reply by Lovinia on 07-Sep-2014

Hi Dean

My pleasure! Always enjoy your work. Despite the pleasure of your presentations .... your poetry on its own would still be outstanding. I feel all your passion and excitement for your writing in your work .... what popular opinion that thinks its not from your heart ....... ?????? ..... or at least that evil, blood-lust of a mind you have. lol

Is that a blush with a black background and white lilies and haunting wails of the banshee???? Great work. Hugs - Lovi xoxox

reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Ha ha, yes, as a matter of fact it was that kind of blush, Lovi. How did you know?? LOL...

reply by Lovinia on 07-Sep-2014

I'm watching you right now ... how else??

reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Cool! Heh-heh-heh...

reply by Lovinia on 07-Sep-2014

heheheheheh! .... just watch your back. lol

reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Always, my dear Lovi. Always... :D

reply by Lovinia on 07-Sep-2014

A pity we have to .... then, life would be so dull without a good scare. :)))

Comment from Trybuck

Excellent

Nope, this one does not fit in a humor category unless the one putting it there is one sick bird. The death rattle is not one I care to hear, a baby's rattle would be more inviting..

Well done with this one, Buck

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Thanks, Buck, and I realize this kind of thing is not for everyone. That being said, I appreciate your review all the more, since it isn't exactly your cuppa tea.

Thanks for the review. :)

reply by Trybuck on 07-Sep-2014

You're very welcome. Just because it's not in my preferred category doesn't mean it's not great writing..Buck

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Dean,

Very nicely written work. Perfectly arranged & formatted. Good flowing. Understandable. Very reflective, all thoughts are very well described, understandable and comprehensible.

I guess that I wanted to tell you that if two words rhyme and then you add an S to one of them then they no longer rhyme. This means that some of your lines do not rhyme. I am very sorry. There is a rhyming dictionary on the net at rhymezone.com.


These two lines do not rhyme.

My heart's thudding, beat so (faint),

blood restricted by (constraints).

Everything else looked picture-perfect.

Your feelings are very understandable and expressed through the poem.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Thanks so much, Oatmeal, and I'll drop the "s" from the word constraint.

I really appreciate your thoughtful review and suggestions.

Thanks! :)

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Firstly prostate or prostrate Dean, this is something you love creating, it's almost like actors love playing " baddie roles" I liked you poem in a perverse sort of way! It's articulate, has immaculate rhythm to it, a master piece of horror poetry, it undoubtedly do very well in this contest, great artwork to back this worthy entry in the contest, well done. Mostly aabb rhyming, even meter! Blessings, Roy.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Ha-ha, thanks for that sly spelling correction there, Roy. Must be that recent prostate exam weighing heavily on my mind, LOL...

And, it isn't something I really like creating, it's something I must do, or I'll literally go nuts. Ever since my near death experience in 2010, where I was dead for nearly four minutes and was revived, my writing took an ominous turn towards all things dark. My pastor, my family...everyone...gets on me about it, and wonders why. Let's just say the things I saw while in that...place...were I was not pleasant. Not in the least. So, my poetry is my therapy, my way of dealing with it. That, and prayer. Lots and lots of prayer.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful review. :)

reply by royowen on 07-Sep-2014

You're most welcome, Dean, Roy.

Comment from DerivedBetter

Excellent

Dean, this was very good. I can feel the pain and confusion of your protagonist. The ending is nice too. Which way will he go. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014

Thanks for taking time out to read & review it for me. Much appreciated. :)