Comment from TheSprite

Excellent

My goodness, everyone is very "deep" today! This sounded so like YOU and the artwork is successfully icky and rattling! :)

I won't lie -- your comments, while appreciated, left me a bit concerned. Everything okay? Just checking. :)

This line bugged me:

"...no living mortal need ever to know."

The word "to" maybe? Better without it? Shrug. You "listen" again in your head and see?

Stygian = new word for me! Looked it up and I like it! Thank you for that small vocabulary fix! :)

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thanks for checking the poem out for me, Sprite, and I appreciate the feedback as well. I'll look into that suggestion, it was a good one. The lines are 10,11,10,11 syllables, respectively, throughout the entire poem, but I may be able to do something and still maintain the flow.

reply by TheSprite on 01-Dec-2014

Apologies! I wasn't paying attention to the syllable count; I only felt off a bit.

Maybe, "...no existing mortal need ever know." ? :)

How about we just leave it alone? LOL!

Still love the new stygian addition to my vocabulary! :)

reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014

Hey, not a bad idea, Sprite. I'll see if I can make that work, and thanks! :}

Comment from Winslow

Excellent

Dear Dean,

Although well written your poem is very depressing. For those who choose to be ferried across have tortured souls. Suicides are too macabre.

Regards,

Winslow

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Life is sometimes depressing, Winslow. it is not always wine and roses for some of us. Thank you very much for your review, and if you think that I am trying to glorify suicide, then I think you had better reread what I've written. Nothing could be further from the truth.

reply by Winslow on 30-Nov-2014

No I didn't think you were but it seems that you are judging them. Why throw life away give it another try. I think people who commit suicide are mentally disturbed and can't think clearly. I believe those that do go across on the ferryman's ride may find themselves in a worst predicament then they are currently in. To me suicide is difficult subject to write about.

Winslow

reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Judging whom? I'm not judging anyone, merely stating the Grim Reapers intentions, speaking through his POV. I cast no judgements on anyone ---EVER-- as that is not my place. That is left up to a much higher power than you or I, as we both are well aware.

reply by Winslow on 01-Dec-2014

I hope I didn't offend you. Anyway, the Grim Reaper just acts and doesn't consider the consequences. I don't believe in judging at all because how could a BENEVOLENT God send a soul to eternal punishment or isolation no matter how the person lived or how he acted. To me the Hebrews did a commendable job of defining and describing God, but it is not necessarily who God is. There are all kinds of possibilities. God could be completely different than who WE believe he/she is. The only thing I know is we will find out when we die or not.

Winslow

reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014

No, I wasn't offended in the least, my friend, just trying to let you know that I was speaking from the POV of Ole Mr. Grimm, or Death Himself, and not voicing mu personal opinion. God is a merciful God, and I feel there are extenuating circumstances He takes into consideration when someone decides to punch their own ticket. I lost a very dear friend in high school -- my best friend, who was like a brother to me -- because he'd decided he's had enough, and he slit his wrists in the bathtub one night. No one even saw it coming. On his note were three simple words..."I'm so tired".

I'll never forget it.

Comment from GWinterwin

Excellent

This is a good poem with a very firm and strong message. Yes we need to listen to our kids and to one another, the Grim Reaper is always waiting. Caring enough to take time to listen is the true love of a friend or parent.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thank you very much for yet another outstanding review, GWinterwin. I do appreciate it, as always.

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

Keep the ferryman happy if you can - he's always a bit of a gloomy character.

Your poem is a mixture of the mythical and the real as you contemplate who might be next to require Charon's services. As such, you offer social commentary as you ponder both those contemplating death and the randomness which means it could be anyone.

I found the meter quite uneven, but perhaps for such a subject you don't want smooth-flowing and bouncy lines.

Presentation excellent as always and the theme though-provoking.

Steve

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

I thank you, as always, for you comments and options, Steve. If you say the meter is off, then I'm sure it is. I've never been a "technical minded" poet, but instead, I choose to write what flows from my heart and imagination-- what I feel -- while composing the best meter that I know how. I do try very hard, and I think that matters to most readers.

Comment from Acquired Taste

Excellent

Spooky - this is another wonderful addition to your Book of Dean - insightful in that you take the everyday fear, unspoken hurts and mystery mood of souls and peak through the frayed edges and share and alert us to those things we must be watchful for and not ignore. Well done - excellent author notes - informative on their own, amazing when you consider they are the basis for your poem. Jean

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thanks so much for taking a look at this one for me, Jean. As always, your comments and opinions are greatly appreciated, my friend. :}

~Dean

reply by Acquired Taste on 30-Nov-2014

This one is different for you - in many ways - certainly has the 'horror' bend - but it refers to real life...and that has always frightened me more than anything King might offer up on a page. Well done Deano. Jean

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

Charon is quite an interesting figure in mythology and makes his way into many a legend. For a guy who only travels back and forth along the same path, he sure got lots of publicity. This is exceptionally done as always and a marvelously thought provoking read. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thanks for your comments, Monica.

Comment from marijmd

Excellent

Some very sad individuals indeed on the verge of meeting death - The image of the young girl with the writing over her is a great one by the way!

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thanks for your comments, marijmd.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I don't know how you keep doing it, Dean. You keep coming up with fresh, new, approaches to lift the curtain that conceals shadow, darkness, and cold.

I've had my fix for the day. I'll wait until the next Dean Kuch post.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thanks very much for your comments, Jay. I sincerely appreciate them as always.

~Dean

Comment from Domino 2

Excellent

Fabulous artwork and presentation, Deano.

Hey, I think I'll raid a few Greek graves, as I'm running low on silver coins. ;-)

Seriously, an excellent write on the dangers of the depressed and neglected falling to the Reaper's uncaring scythe.

Top advice in your notes, too, to look out and care for those in danger - sometimes, just a few soft understanding loving words, a smile or a hug, can make so much difference.

Excellent!

Best wishes, Ray.

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014

Thanks for weighing in on this poem for me, Ray. As always, I appreciate your comments.

~DeanO

Comment from Dawn Munro

Exceptional

Wow, Dean, this was simply great! I don't understand your author's notes though - why would anyone want to go with Charon if his ferry is carrying them to Hades?

Listen, that music throughout this time really enhanced the read for me - maybe it was just low enough in volume (I had my speakers set at 60%) hee, hee.

Wow (again). What a tale, and how very complete the package - wonderful poetry, a scary theme, marvelous pictures and music - it was a pleasure!

 Comment Written 30-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014

Thanks, Dawn, I appreciate your gracious rating and thoughtful review.

As far as Charon, the Ferryman, and the trip to Hades...who can say? The ancient Greeks wrote that part, heh...heh

Thanks again for the awesome review. :}

reply by Dawn Munro on 03-Dec-2014

sheesh - I replied already!!!!!!!!!! I HATE this new system. :) You're welcome.

reply by Dawn Munro on 03-Dec-2014

Okay, now where do I check to see if this thing is saving my replies? 'Cause I just replied AGAIN, and you're back (LOL - not you, your reply to my review) so I do NOT know who has received a reply from me and who hasn't.

reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014

I received it, Dawn. :}

reply by Dawn Munro on 03-Dec-2014

A stands for answered already - sorry, Dean, but this is ridiculous scrolling required.

reply by the author on 03-Dec-2014

Yeah, it's going to take some getting used to... :}