Death Rattle
My more srious take on Rigor mortis, and death...63 total reviews
Comment from Chrisfiore
Greetings Dean Kuch,
What a morbid little poem and the visuals that accompany it are very cool. I wonder how you did it but I will not ask how it is possible, letting that be your own "parlor trick". ;) Just in time for All Hallows Eve. It gave me chills and I received an education to boot. Not bad from this reader's standpoint. ;) Chrisfiore
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Greetings Dean Kuch,
What a morbid little poem and the visuals that accompany it are very cool. I wonder how you did it but I will not ask how it is possible, letting that be your own "parlor trick". ;) Just in time for All Hallows Eve. It gave me chills and I received an education to boot. Not bad from this reader's standpoint. ;) Chrisfiore
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from Leineco
Before I get down to the serious. . .the poor 'monk' in the final animation! Talk about dirt in the face!!!! LOL
Great dissertation on the dying's final thoughts. . .recognizing the physical manifestations of rigor mortis, locked limbs and helplessness. The meter ran smooth a glass and, of course, the rhyme was flawless.
Great Job :-)
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Before I get down to the serious. . .the poor 'monk' in the final animation! Talk about dirt in the face!!!! LOL
Great dissertation on the dying's final thoughts. . .recognizing the physical manifestations of rigor mortis, locked limbs and helplessness. The meter ran smooth a glass and, of course, the rhyme was flawless.
Great Job :-)
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, dean, I enjoyed reading this quatrain poem, excellent imagery presented in your words, very chilling pictures you have attached to them.
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this is an excellent write, dean, I enjoyed reading this quatrain poem, excellent imagery presented in your words, very chilling pictures you have attached to them.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from LIJ Red
Throat rattle can indicate brain damage and loss of the swallowing function, aspiration of food, saliva and mucus, usually resulting in pneumonia. Bad. Your poem is the oldest
nightmare- mind/soul trapped in rotting body. Nice!
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Throat rattle can indicate brain damage and loss of the swallowing function, aspiration of food, saliva and mucus, usually resulting in pneumonia. Bad. Your poem is the oldest
nightmare- mind/soul trapped in rotting body. Nice!
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from Ekim777
Our poet displays a morbid concern for death and is left with an unanswerable question. The truth is life and death are inexorably bound together. Why separate them? At best we can say that death is the break-up of a long continuum called life. There is a trace of the macabre in the poem and even the persistent rhyme scheme makes the situation ironical. What right have I to challenge our poet? I have watched the death of another at close range. There was never even a death rattle. With respect. -Ekim777
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Our poet displays a morbid concern for death and is left with an unanswerable question. The truth is life and death are inexorably bound together. Why separate them? At best we can say that death is the break-up of a long continuum called life. There is a trace of the macabre in the poem and even the persistent rhyme scheme makes the situation ironical. What right have I to challenge our poet? I have watched the death of another at close range. There was never even a death rattle. With respect. -Ekim777
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from kintesiegel
this wonderful poem is very Gothic and horrifying. It was a pleasure to read and know that I am awake and not in this somber state.
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this wonderful poem is very Gothic and horrifying. It was a pleasure to read and know that I am awake and not in this somber state.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from RGstar
Good author notes dean. Quite descriptive concerning a person thinking within oneself at the hour.
As usual very well presented. Great visuals, good usage of the language without being over elaborate with adjectives or nouns.
A good write all in all ...excellent visuals.
Another good presentation.
Best wishes,
RGstar
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Good author notes dean. Quite descriptive concerning a person thinking within oneself at the hour.
As usual very well presented. Great visuals, good usage of the language without being over elaborate with adjectives or nouns.
A good write all in all ...excellent visuals.
Another good presentation.
Best wishes,
RGstar
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
My husband is a preacher and we have been at the bedside of many near death and dying. He has prayed to say it's ok to go we will take care of things here. This is a real thing.
Again the imagery you use is superb
God bless
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My husband is a preacher and we have been at the bedside of many near death and dying. He has prayed to say it's ok to go we will take care of things here. This is a real thing.
Again the imagery you use is superb
God bless
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Hello there~!
WOW! As always, amazing presentation. That presentation deserves more than a six, but alas! Six is all I have!
The poem itself is absolutely stunning. I love every line and every word of it. Great Job!
Hmm, I didn't know about a 'Death Rattle' before, so thanks for the info.
PS. I absolutely love that gif of a grim reaper after stanza six.
Well Done!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
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Hello there~!
WOW! As always, amazing presentation. That presentation deserves more than a six, but alas! Six is all I have!
The poem itself is absolutely stunning. I love every line and every word of it. Great Job!
Hmm, I didn't know about a 'Death Rattle' before, so thanks for the info.
PS. I absolutely love that gif of a grim reaper after stanza six.
Well Done!
JazakAllah Khair~!
(God Bless~!)
(^_^)-<~~KAUSAR~~>-(^_^)
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
Comment from ravenblack
You know a poem about being buried, well, not alive but , well, maybe, but well...anyway- be that as it may, reading this gave me that Poe phobia or claustrophobia. Corpses dancing above, straddling that hell hole- truly horrific especially since we are seeing through the narrator's eyes. This is one of your best horror poems. Just one nit-pick- the 4th line in the first stanza does not seem to fit. The man is dead, sheet pulled over his head- of what would God disapprove? If he is somehow a sinner, it is not evidenced in the opening line and brings in an element of judgement that really does not work this early in the poem.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014
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You know a poem about being buried, well, not alive but , well, maybe, but well...anyway- be that as it may, reading this gave me that Poe phobia or claustrophobia. Corpses dancing above, straddling that hell hole- truly horrific especially since we are seeing through the narrator's eyes. This is one of your best horror poems. Just one nit-pick- the 4th line in the first stanza does not seem to fit. The man is dead, sheet pulled over his head- of what would God disapprove? If he is somehow a sinner, it is not evidenced in the opening line and brings in an element of judgement that really does not work this early in the poem.
Comment Written 07-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2014
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Thank very much, Ed, and that claustrophobic feel was exactly what I was striving for in this write, so I'm pleased you felt that came across through the writing.
The reference to God disapproving was intended to mean that while he is, in fact, dead, he was not resurrected by God's own divine hand or intervention, not meant that he is a sinner in any way.
I hope that helps explain my intent a little more clearly. I truly appreciate you sharing your thoughts with me on this, and for the six stars as well.
Thanks again, Ed! :)