Reviews from

On Staffa

A Ballad

51 total reviews 
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have always been fascinated by Puffins. I've never seen one, only pictures. Your description made my fascination even deeper. Thank you for the continuation of my interest.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2017
    I appreciate this review, Barbara. My visit to Staffa more than a decade ago left a strong impression, and it was good to be able to revisit the place in verse. Watching the puffins was a particularly memorable part of the visit! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Irish Rain
Excellent
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How beautiful this is. And the picture of the Puffin!! Just too precious, at the same time, comical. Lovely imagery and descriptions employed here, a shame they have to fight such odds, but some win, so the chainsaws continue!! I've never heard, nor seen one, maybe one day!! Blessings...

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 12-Sep-2017
    I appreciate this review, Judy. My visit to Staffa more than a decade ago left a strong impression, and it was good to be able to revisit the place in verse. Watching the puffins was a particularly memorable part of the visit! Although they do face some pretty fearful odds at times, I have perhaps over-dramatised their plight! All the ones we saw were pretty successful with their low flying tactics. I think one or two did lose their catch to marauding gulls though. Best wishes, Tony
reply by Irish Rain on 12-Sep-2017
    They're just so cute, ha ha!! Like colorful mini penquins!!
Comment from Aussie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

One of your best story/poems. Such funny birds. Clowns of the sea and land. Fingal's cave is well known. I have visited Great Britain but didn't get to Ireland. A very long and beautiful poem that I enjoyed immensely. I see you have climbed the ladder of success to being number 12 on Fanstory. I wish you all success my dear friend. XXK.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 13-Sep-2017
    Very many thanks, Aussie. Glad you enjoyed it. I very much appreciate your six-star award. Most affirming! The ladder is a bit of illusion really! More a matter of quantity than quality! I expect to slip down again soon - on the venomous snake of time! LOL Best wishes, Tony
Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
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This is a great write Tony I love the bouncy rhythm this ABCB rhyme scheme creates as you read the poem aloud it works really well in this write. You definitely have a wonderful way with words.

dip

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Thanks very much for taking the time to drop by and review this, Dip, and for your generous words. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from pome lover
Excellent
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absolutely delightful - beautifully worded and informative.
Were you able to teach your middle schoolers any poetry? Or read some to them? You would surely have gotten them interested.
Your descriptions helped the reader (moi) visualize the scenes. Really fascinating. Thank you.
Sorry, am out of sixes. That deserved one.
pome lover

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Hi Katharine. Good to hear from you. Yes, I used to teach a love of poetry to my classes of 12-13 yr olds and I also spent a coupe of years as the Junior School librarian, which gave me plenty of scope!
reply by pome lover on 11-Sep-2017
    how fantastic! Lucky students.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I am amazed at the lengths that an animal will go to in order to feed itself and its offspring. Man on the other hand, will just invent something, some sort of tool to accomplish his goal. If all else fails, he will just take food from an animal who is incapable of preventing it. The man may even kill and eat the animal he was going to take the food from. That is our nature. I truly enjoyed reading about the various exploits of the exotic animals you described in great detail.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Many thanks for your interesting comments, Nomi, and for the six stars. I'm honoured!
Comment from rama devi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is outstanding! Eloquent and richly depicted in terms of both imagery and auditory phonetics. Delightful. Masterfully penned. Superb rhymes, flow and poetic devices.

I also love how the diction and vocabulary choices generate a sense of time, place and culture.


Favorite stanzas to read aloud:

and echoes drift upon the wind
with notes of deep despair;
a Hebridean overture
inspired by soughing air,

its tones funereal and sad,
a dirge in minor key,
a bagpipe drone with dark bassoon,
and restless slop of sea.


* Another favorite to read aloud (love the slant internal rhyme of purr and heard plus the medley of P-B, D and S sounds. Note one suggestion:

In time(,) we heard a throaty purr,
a buzzing scribble sound,
of puffins in their breeding dens,
well-hidden underground.

*
A danse macabre starts, whose steps


is it French for dance?
*
At length(,) they breast the wave again,



Superb rhyme here:

And does the ghost of Fingal now
repel fierce Valkyries,
as down they swoop upon small birds
in basalt galleries? (NOT SURE OF THE SCANSION HERE)


LOVE THIS:
whose hollow tones bewitched soft tunes
from Felix Mendelssohn.


Great closing note:

for when one sinks in reverie,
the self retires from time!

Bravo! This should WIN!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Many thanks, RD. What a lovely review! I visited the Isle of Mull and Staffa about ten years ago with my wife and some very dear friends, one of who had just been diagnosed with cancer. It was the last occasion when we were able to spend time with her. The memories came flooding back when I saw this picture of a puffin recently! I'm delighted that you thought the poem worthy of six stars. Quite a bit of my heart went into it. All the best, Tony
reply by rama devi on 11-Sep-2017
    Thanks for sharing, my friend. Sorry for your loss. The heart shines through the poem for sure.

    All the best, rd
Comment from Curly Girly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi, Tony.
This poem is a great descriptive piece of poetry that tells a story about visiting the breeding ground of Puffin penguins.
In time we heard a throaty purr,
a buzzing scribble sound,
of puffins in their breeding dens,
well-hidden underground.
And then you drew up the strains of the classic composer:
whose hollow tones bewitched soft tunes
from Felix Mendelssohn.
Violin Concerto in E minor,
A Midsummer Night's Dream?

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Hi Nicole. Thanks for the review. Mendelssohn composed The Hebrides Overture (Fingal's Cave) Opus 26 in B Minor in 1830, following a visit to Staffa. Some consider it to be an early example of a tone poem.
reply by Curly Girly on 11-Sep-2017
    Ah, so that's where his inspiration came from. For a man of his times, he got around.
Comment from RGstar
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, this is my last six star that I had promised to keep until at least, Thursday, but I guess it wasn't to be.
As usual termed well.
I thought at first a little rich as to loose balance of the red thread, yet, as I read on, I found the language balanced and full of creativity. Some words I had to pause and think...but that is because of me not being familiar rather than any fault of the author...then I fell into the beautiful rhythm and imagery that words came easy to me in context of the write.
A class write which shows why you are one of the wordsmiths here.
Bravo.
A thoroughly good write.

I have been reading some good work a couple of days, and that is giving, for me, for it good to be surrounded by excellence and for the love of words themselves.

A great write, Tony.
My best wishes.
RG

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Many thanks, RG. What a lovely review! I visited the Isle of Mull and Staffa about ten years ago with my wife and some very dear friends, one of who had just been diagnosed with cancer. It was the last occasion when we were able to spend time with her. The memories came flooding back when I saw this picture of a puffin recently! I'm delighted that you thought the poem worthy of six stars. Quite a bit of my heart went into it. All the best, Tony
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did this pure justice and it was excellent written. I love the documentarys on the puffins and their courage and determination. You did them justice and the comparison was great.

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 11-Sep-2017
    Very many thanks for your kind review, Barb. Glad you enjoyed my poem! All the best, Tony