The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Come Morning"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
35 total reviews
Comment from iamcassiopeia
I think your poem is nice. It has vividness and it stirs up my imagination. And perhaps more important than not, while reading it I can't help but visualize the scene you are referring to in your poem.
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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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I think your poem is nice. It has vividness and it stirs up my imagination. And perhaps more important than not, while reading it I can't help but visualize the scene you are referring to in your poem.
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Comment Written 03-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Thank you for reading the poem. It sounds like you like it, since the rating is low, do you have suggestions for improving it, I would appreciate them. :-) Carolyn
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I don't think it needs to be improved. It's good as it is. Maybe it's just because of my personal preference when it comes to poems. But nonetheless, it's good.
Comment from FrannyG
Hi Carolyn, This is a lovely poem full of energy and the joy of awakening to a new day. I'm wondering why you abbreviated 'morning' to 'mornin''. I was expecting a poem written in the vernacular because of this but it is really a very serious and joyous celebration. I think you should honour it with the full word 'morning' in keeping with the tone of the rest of the poem. The abbreviation just pulls it down a tiny bit. The last line of your first verse would be better without the 'do' before 'dwell'. It's a little archaic but that's just a suggestion. 'It's place', 'it's beauty' and 'it's vibrancy' shouldn't have apostrophes as 'its' is a possessive pronoun so doesn't take an apostrophe to make it possessive. This tricks a lot of people up. And the third line of the last verse should be 'that await you', no 's' on 'awaits' as the subject ('opportunities') is plural. Otherwise I love it. I love 'dissipates/ like sleepy-time sweetness from/ the eyes of an awakening child'. A really lovely poem.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Hi Carolyn, This is a lovely poem full of energy and the joy of awakening to a new day. I'm wondering why you abbreviated 'morning' to 'mornin''. I was expecting a poem written in the vernacular because of this but it is really a very serious and joyous celebration. I think you should honour it with the full word 'morning' in keeping with the tone of the rest of the poem. The abbreviation just pulls it down a tiny bit. The last line of your first verse would be better without the 'do' before 'dwell'. It's a little archaic but that's just a suggestion. 'It's place', 'it's beauty' and 'it's vibrancy' shouldn't have apostrophes as 'its' is a possessive pronoun so doesn't take an apostrophe to make it possessive. This tricks a lot of people up. And the third line of the last verse should be 'that await you', no 's' on 'awaits' as the subject ('opportunities') is plural. Otherwise I love it. I love 'dissipates/ like sleepy-time sweetness from/ the eyes of an awakening child'. A really lovely poem.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Thanks so much for the review and the wonderful job of editing, I will get right on it. :-) Carolyn
Comment from Dean Kuch
What a beautifully penned, positively uplifting message you've conveyed to us all here, notesandmore. For every bright and shining new day, there follows night, and darkness. But that darkness is only temporary, a momentary lapse between dusk, and dawn...
If we can ride out the darkness, feel our way through it until the sun crests the horizon once more, we can embrace our future, rue the day. For we are only guaranteed that our future is as long as each new day that follows...
Nicely done!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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What a beautifully penned, positively uplifting message you've conveyed to us all here, notesandmore. For every bright and shining new day, there follows night, and darkness. But that darkness is only temporary, a momentary lapse between dusk, and dawn...
If we can ride out the darkness, feel our way through it until the sun crests the horizon once more, we can embrace our future, rue the day. For we are only guaranteed that our future is as long as each new day that follows...
Nicely done!
Comment Written 03-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Thank you Dean for such a wonderful review and rating. I am delighted you enjoyed this one. Have a great night. Carolyn
Comment from tfawcus
What a lovely poem, Carolyn! The stand-out lines for me were:
'like sleepy-time sweetness from
the eyes of an awakening child'
Both that and the sunrise hold all the wonderful promise of a new day ahead!
I very much liked your opening, the description of that mysterious place, the other side of the world.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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What a lovely poem, Carolyn! The stand-out lines for me were:
'like sleepy-time sweetness from
the eyes of an awakening child'
Both that and the sunrise hold all the wonderful promise of a new day ahead!
I very much liked your opening, the description of that mysterious place, the other side of the world.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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And what a wonderful review, full of insightful comments, and a great rating. I am happy you enjoyed this one, :-) Carolyn
Comment from Phoenix Divine
Ah, a rather beautiful portrayal of beauty displayed with a cascading flow. It is wonderful of you to share with us your verse. Thank you. I appreciate the experience.
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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Ah, a rather beautiful portrayal of beauty displayed with a cascading flow. It is wonderful of you to share with us your verse. Thank you. I appreciate the experience.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the lovely review of Come Mornin'. :-) Carolyn