Comment from robina1978

Excellent

This often happens in TV movies as well putting two teams on the one case. Usually one side is not happy about it. A leak amongst them might create an even bigger problem.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Thanks for the great review, Ine. I appreciate your continued support! Warmest regards, Bev

reply by robina1978 on 05-Jul-2013

welcome, Ine

Comment from mountainwriter49

Excellent

Good Morning, Bev-san

First off, please accept my apologies for being so far behind in reading and reviewing your work. I'm now emerging from my traditional Spring Hell at work, and am, for the first time in a long time, enjoying coffee and reading this morning.

Secondly, I am delighted to see how well your prose writing skills have progressed. As evidenced by this chapter, your writing is tight and flows smoothly. The story line is well developed and help my interest throughout the read.

Well done,
Ray

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Ray, thank you for stopping in to read my chapter. It's got to be a bit confusing, so I especially appreciate the kind gesture.
And thanks so much for noting the growth in my writing. You've known me a while now, so it's especially sweet to read that.

I truly hope you get to relax and enjoy what's remaining of the summer season. It all goes so fast these days. And I hope you are well.

Thanks again, Ray-San.

Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Norbanus

Excellent

A nicely done advancement of the set up and development. As always the locals and the Feds are waltzing around each other. Here we have the FBI, the state and the Sioux, all wanting the lead role. But you've done a good job of showing the Feds, just like in real life, as being the biggest a**holes.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

I have a great deal of respect for criminal profiling. And the team will be glad to have the additional resources in the next few chapters. Thanks so much for this great review, Norbanus. I'm honored.

Bev

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Ah Bev, I simply have to point this out, though I'm sure I've said similar things in past - you write in such a way that it involves your reader, not even because the plot, dialogue, action and so on are so compelling, but because you make it so darn believable - little things like the reference to the Rubik's Cube, for example. I feel like part of the story when I read. (But the plot, dialogue, action, etc. ARE compelling too!!!) :)

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Dawn, thank you so much for this wonderfully generous review! I much appreciate your insights, especially since I am such a fan of your writing abilities. Have a good weekend, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

Another fine chapter as always you captured my attention all the way.
Each person brings excitement into every chapter. Thank you for sharing.
You have to be careful of using names. which I don't understand there are thousand of people all over the world how are they to know your writing about them?

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Thank you so much, misscookie. This particular person lives in my area of the state, so it might be more likely he'd come across it. But a writer I know always does a google search to make sure their not using a real name. These days you have to be just a little more careful, I guess.

Loved hearing from you, and thanks for following my story so faithfully.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

You did a lot of setting up/positioning in this one. I have a good feeling about Dred and the added information the FBI can add to the case.
It looks like Skeets is the one leaking news to the press.
Very well done, Bev. I was afraid I'd get lost with so many characters dialoguing and moving around, but you led me through it smoothly. That isn't an easy thing to do. Bravo!

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Yes, it was a little different type of chapter. Actually, this chapter has some elements from my crime writing class. The genre doesn't have a lot of description and leans heavily in the direction of punchy dialogue. I'm not sure if I prefer it or not yet.

As always, thanks so much Ellen for the support.

Hugs, Bev

reply by barkingdog on 05-Jul-2013

THAT was what I picked up. The flowery bits were not there. It had punchy dialogue. Cleaner. The class was a good one, Yes?

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

I'm torn between the descriptive writing and the more technically pure genre writing. I'm probably going to appear a bit schizo because I still want to use it in certain chapters. What do you think? The class was a very good one. I'm definitely going to consider attending another writer's workshop. Either locally or traveling. It's a great way to hook-up with other writers. I'd like to plug my friend from the class who just joined on as Green Lake Girl. She's working on a crime novel, and if you have time I'm sure she'd love to hear from you.

You are a very good reviewerd, Ellen. You get things at a deep level and I always appreciate that.

xx Bev

reply by barkingdog on 06-Jul-2013

I'll check out GLG.
Can't advise you on how to write. You have to do what feels right as well as what sells best to a specific genre. People tend to expect certain things. I'm finding that out and it limiting but maybe necessary. Maybe, its not. I'm no expert. Still feeling my way through it myself.

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013

Thanks for the note, Ellen. I know a lot more about the genre after taking the workshop... Elmore Leonard is supposed the man when it comes that kind of writing.

Take care,

Bev

And thanks for the thought on GLG.

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

Along The Jericho Road. 'A Kazuzu Moon.' An excellent chapter you have again written, my friend. I enjoy very much the quality of your work. Well done.

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Thank you so much, chasennov. I'm grateful for your support and generosity. :0) Bev

reply by chasennov on 05-Jul-2013

You're very welcome, Bev.

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

Why do law enforcement and FBI always hate each other. They are always like little boys trying to out do the other, My dad can beat up your dad. Why can't they all just get along. =}

Great as always. It's just driving me crazy to know who's behind it all. Rox

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013

Well said, Rox. I guess it's a matter of personal pride. But the detectives will settle in and be open to the suggestions of the profiler. After all, like in real life, they just want to successfully close a case.

Thanks for the awesome review Rox.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from AprilShower

Excellent

I'm wondering if Detective Skeets Epstein could be the leak. Things are going to move fast maybe now, and they will find out who is committing these murders.

I felt like I was there, Bev. Well done.

Hugs,
April

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013

Thanks for hanging in, April. I appreciate your encouragement and support. Yes, a crescendo is building. :0) Bev

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

Hmmm I did notice that you changed names girl. It's something that is a good idea. As far as the story goes is seems to be getting dragged out a wee bit. I've been reading but not reviewing. Pick up the pace a little and get your old self into it.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013

My 'old' self is 100% into it. Thank you for your remarks.

reply by Gungalo on 04-Jul-2013

That's really good Bev. Perhaps it's me then and I can't tell.