Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Yaza Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What an intense read -- so much
anxiety and sadness and now he
must be having a heart-attack...
a great piece of writing, Bev.
AND sit actually allows me to
give you a six..
asking how he wished his coffee - "wished" sounds strange - how about - wanted his coffee
do you want to hold?(")
laced-up
He collapsed into the [the] corner - lose 2nd the
As fingers moving steadily - moved
Great writing.
Margaret
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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What an intense read -- so much
anxiety and sadness and now he
must be having a heart-attack...
a great piece of writing, Bev.
AND sit actually allows me to
give you a six..
asking how he wished his coffee - "wished" sounds strange - how about - wanted his coffee
do you want to hold?(")
laced-up
He collapsed into the [the] corner - lose 2nd the
As fingers moving steadily - moved
Great writing.
Margaret
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Magaret, thank you so much for your generosity! I really appreciate your words of support AND your sharp eye for SPAGGIES. Corrections on the way. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
There is much excitement in this. You portray the sheriff's urgency in trying to get to Stanley. There might be another victim if he doesn't act quickly. A nice supernatural touch when sheriff feels that oppressive air in the room. Sheriff is prepared to take action, but will it be in time? You show that Stanley was really devoted to Debra and is missing her. Something seizes him at the end of this scene, leaving one to wonder if he's dying of a heart attack. Or is it the work of that supernatural force? Very exciting. judi
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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There is much excitement in this. You portray the sheriff's urgency in trying to get to Stanley. There might be another victim if he doesn't act quickly. A nice supernatural touch when sheriff feels that oppressive air in the room. Sheriff is prepared to take action, but will it be in time? You show that Stanley was really devoted to Debra and is missing her. Something seizes him at the end of this scene, leaving one to wonder if he's dying of a heart attack. Or is it the work of that supernatural force? Very exciting. judi
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hi, Judi. Thank you so much for this awesome and generous review. I really like hearing all the theories about what's happened to Stanley. Its fun to know the chapter has a few guessing (I'm bad, I know). Your faithful support is so gratifying, and I really appreciate you! Warmest regards, Bev
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You're welcome, Guessing is what keeps people reading. judiverse
Comment from Selestia
Wow . . . the plot thickens. Good, strong characters and the plot moves at a good pace. Interesting twist they've figured out . . . hope they get there on time. Keeps the reader interested and eager to continue reading.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Wow . . . the plot thickens. Good, strong characters and the plot moves at a good pace. Interesting twist they've figured out . . . hope they get there on time. Keeps the reader interested and eager to continue reading.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Thank you Selestia. I really appreciate you choosing to read my chapter and your generous review! Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Wow Bev, this was penned brilliantly. I felt all the welling emotion in this work. Bringing the reader deeply into the story made the impact more profound.
Great hook at the end wondering if he'll make it or not.
Strong writing as always my friend. A thrilling story held me tightly all the way through.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Wow Bev, this was penned brilliantly. I felt all the welling emotion in this work. Bringing the reader deeply into the story made the impact more profound.
Great hook at the end wondering if he'll make it or not.
Strong writing as always my friend. A thrilling story held me tightly all the way through.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hi, Maureen. Thank you for letting me know what you felt worked in this chapter. That is so helpful! I wasn't sure if the internal dialogue of the second section was the right move, but you have confirmed my instinct. I so appreciate your support and generosity. Love ya, Bev
Comment from TammyGail
Bev - you always do such a magnifacint job crafting your chapters - pulling the reader in by the hem and keeping their full throughout - loved your use of imagery and thanks for the always helpful notes as well as the read always a pleasure
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Bev - you always do such a magnifacint job crafting your chapters - pulling the reader in by the hem and keeping their full throughout - loved your use of imagery and thanks for the always helpful notes as well as the read always a pleasure
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Tammy, thank you so much for this awesome review! I sure appreciate your generous words of support -- means so much to me, lovely lady. Hugs, Bev
Comment from chasdflynn
I did not read all the chapters so am lost a bit. What happened to Stanley? I can't figure it all out, which probably means you have done a good job. It is a a very interesting chapter though as a stand alone and I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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I did not read all the chapters so am lost a bit. What happened to Stanley? I can't figure it all out, which probably means you have done a good job. It is a a very interesting chapter though as a stand alone and I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hi, chas. There has been one murder, which had religious undertones to it. The priest, Father Brian, was called by the murdered before he left the scene of the crime. He has since come to believe the murderer is possessed by a demon that he, alone, will eventually face. Stanley was a friend of the murdered lady, and may know the secret that Debra was keeping that likely got her killed. Hope that helps, and thanks for stopping by! Bev
Comment from jadapenn
Oh crumbs I've missed a chapter or two from this terrific story. Now Stanley seems to have kicked the bucket. Was the Sheriff on the way to him? I still can't crack your puzzle which means you're good at what you're up to. Just go ahead and keep jada guessing. lol. I loved this chapter. luv jada
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Oh crumbs I've missed a chapter or two from this terrific story. Now Stanley seems to have kicked the bucket. Was the Sheriff on the way to him? I still can't crack your puzzle which means you're good at what you're up to. Just go ahead and keep jada guessing. lol. I loved this chapter. luv jada
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hi, Jada. Thank you for this very generous and awesome review. I sure apreciate you taking time to read the chapter. You're alway so supportive, Jada. Love ya, Bev
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
THis is excellent writing, very intense and the drama feels real. The urgency and impatience in the phone call and the dialogue on both ends is very believable!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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THis is excellent writing, very intense and the drama feels real. The urgency and impatience in the phone call and the dialogue on both ends is very believable!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hello, Phyllis. Thank you very kindly for your generous and supportive review. I'm honored given the caliber of writer you are!
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from robina1978
So the high priest did it? And now Stanley is in danger as well? But from whom, I did not understand that. But this story gets more and more like real life.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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So the high priest did it? And now Stanley is in danger as well? But from whom, I did not understand that. But this story gets more and more like real life.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hi, Ine. Thanks for letting me know what you liked about the chapter. It's great feedback and I appreciate it. Warmest regards, Bev
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welcome Bev, but did I get it right?
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Hi, Ine. I'll only say the killer was not in this chapter LOL.
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OK, I see, have to wait then-LOL.
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:0) Sorry, Ine.
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LOL, take care and I'll try and be patient.
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You are so much like me, Ine. I am terrible about reading the endings before I even get to midpoint in the book LOL. I think it's a Scropio thing. Xxx Bev
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Are you a Scorpio too? It could well be.
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Yup, I am. And I can't stand not knowing the whole story LOL. :0)
Comment from misscookie
Another fantastic chapter, you did it again.
Keeping me o the edge od myhair wondering what will happen in the next few lines.
thank you very much for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Another fantastic chapter, you did it again.
Keeping me o the edge od myhair wondering what will happen in the next few lines.
thank you very much for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Hiya, Cookie. Thank you, faithful friend, for reading my latest chapter. I always love to get your insights and reactions. Thanks so much!!
Hugs, Bev
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You're very welcome until next time.