Sink
An Earlette of Lament ...38 total reviews
Comment from Shanev29
Good job on this the way your character swears to see it through and then in the end is the cause of the problem created buy it's self .To seek and long for what they drove away .Well that's the way I seen it LOL....
Good job enjoyable for sure.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Good job on this the way your character swears to see it through and then in the end is the cause of the problem created buy it's self .To seek and long for what they drove away .Well that's the way I seen it LOL....
Good job enjoyable for sure.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Wow what an interesting way to put it and I like the way you saw it for you are BANG on the money and have probably the best interpretation of my poem. I did not want to drive this person away, but felt I had to at the time for personal reasons I can't explain. Now I regret doing that.
Thanks again, you are a most intuitive individual and I thankyou, seriously. I loved your review and the way you put it so succinctly.
Cheers closet xo
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Thank you very much for the kind words I always try to read beond the words, thats just me.
Comment from LilHippie
So much said. It feels like a meeting that became a relationship almost healed someone's inner pain, they tried and it was lovely, but the pain could not be healed. Then, when the relationship ended, realization hit, and then it was too late. The ending, the extra stanza shows the healing, I believe, but is it too late, will she/he sink? Hope not! Its never too late to try again.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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So much said. It feels like a meeting that became a relationship almost healed someone's inner pain, they tried and it was lovely, but the pain could not be healed. Then, when the relationship ended, realization hit, and then it was too late. The ending, the extra stanza shows the healing, I believe, but is it too late, will she/he sink? Hope not! Its never too late to try again.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Yep this is pretty close...the extra stanza was the realization so I guess a kind of healing of sorts...Is it too late...I'm not sure. But I hope not either. I hate it when I'm wrong. LOL
Thanks so much for an sympathetic review.
Closet
Comment from mauial
I see it as a poem about not just a friend, but about you (or not you) and your muse (or not your muse) with this line, A world of verse, we took on, me and you. Pushed away and then found is that the reverse volta?
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I see it as a poem about not just a friend, but about you (or not you) and your muse (or not your muse) with this line, A world of verse, we took on, me and you. Pushed away and then found is that the reverse volta?
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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What an interesting review and interpretation and I think you are pretty close. To be honest on a second read this could pertain to the writing too, so thankyou.
Cheers closet
Comment from randomzed
I enjoyed your poem alot more than author's notes.
Although there is a link ......indecision.
You may have revealed alot more about yourself than you intended.
It's a very good poem, thought and construction.
A reverse volta, eh?
Sounds acrobatic.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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I enjoyed your poem alot more than author's notes.
Although there is a link ......indecision.
You may have revealed alot more about yourself than you intended.
It's a very good poem, thought and construction.
A reverse volta, eh?
Sounds acrobatic.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Haha thankyou for your honesty. Every time I write NOT a bio in my notes...people always think its a bio...so I decided to cloud the issue well and truly so as to not give my readers a thing. The Is and Isn't was definitely supposed to add confusion but NOT to reveal indecision about myself. Gosh I didn't see it like that but thankyou for that observation. I certainly appreciate it may look like it from a readers perspective. I shall take my chances though on the notes, I have to be true to thyself, whatever it seems to reveal and I seriously loved your response. Especially the bit at the end...Thankyou, sincerely.
Cheers closet
Comment from peggles
So very true and so well done
Friends are so precious we need to keep hold of them
Very well written and presented the art matches the words beautifully
Heartfelt and very touching piece
this is an extremely emotionally sad poem
Well done
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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So very true and so well done
Friends are so precious we need to keep hold of them
Very well written and presented the art matches the words beautifully
Heartfelt and very touching piece
this is an extremely emotionally sad poem
Well done
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thanks peggles, that we do. Hold them close to us.
Cheers and thanks a bunch.
Closet xo
Comment from Gungalo
A beautiful write, not a sonnet but an exquisite verse of loyalty lost. Sad it is when friendship goes off on its own. So sad.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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A beautiful write, not a sonnet but an exquisite verse of loyalty lost. Sad it is when friendship goes off on its own. So sad.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thanks Gunga. No not a sonnet, an EARLETTE, but as Earl states (as he made the adaptation) a Sonnet with an extra stanza with room for elaboration. So you'll have to argue out the NOT a sonnet with him.
Cheers closet
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No argument girl.
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Good for you.
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LOL.
Comment from Earl of Oxford
LMAO at your notes.
Good to see your creative juices flowing again (and others I hope LOL)
Hey, P, this form is called an 'Earlette'. Seriously, I invented it a while back and created a contest for it. It's the same as a sonnet but with an extra quatrain for more chance to expand.
Maybe 'when-FIRST-we-MET' for clearer syllable emphasis, and it also sounds poetically more poncy. ;-)
'mateship's'? Creative but maybe something more poetic like 'our carefree road' though that's a quick and not very impressive sugg.
'I want to prove it so much, I can't sleep' - very single-syllable staccato line IMHO, and could be much improved with your awesome talent.
Anyway, despite all my nit-picking and pretending I know what I'm talking about, this is an extremely well written sorrowful sonnet on the theme of regrets of a potentially fabulous relationship.
Very heartfelt and moving, P.
To be able to write so solemnly and seriously, and then switch to hilarity in the next poem is a true gift, and one I thought was only mine to possess. LMAO!
Best wishes, earl
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reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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LMAO at your notes.
Good to see your creative juices flowing again (and others I hope LOL)
Hey, P, this form is called an 'Earlette'. Seriously, I invented it a while back and created a contest for it. It's the same as a sonnet but with an extra quatrain for more chance to expand.
Maybe 'when-FIRST-we-MET' for clearer syllable emphasis, and it also sounds poetically more poncy. ;-)
'mateship's'? Creative but maybe something more poetic like 'our carefree road' though that's a quick and not very impressive sugg.
'I want to prove it so much, I can't sleep' - very single-syllable staccato line IMHO, and could be much improved with your awesome talent.
Anyway, despite all my nit-picking and pretending I know what I'm talking about, this is an extremely well written sorrowful sonnet on the theme of regrets of a potentially fabulous relationship.
Very heartfelt and moving, P.
To be able to write so solemnly and seriously, and then switch to hilarity in the next poem is a true gift, and one I thought was only mine to possess. LMAO!
Best wishes, earl
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Wow...thanks for a some supearlb suggestions...trust you to have already thought of this format...I go fix my notes My Lord...now if you can just explain stuccathingy to me I'll know what to do to rectify. I LOVED all your other suggestions...I run along and fix...terrific, thankyou friend.
Cheers little p
p is for plaguariser! LOL
I change my notes...shit I am soooooooooooo sorry buddy...big kiss X
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Thanks for your gracious reply, P, and for potentially giving me some free advertising in your notes - not that I crave attention of course. ;-)
By staccato, I mean a line of single syllable words which caused the flow to slow and sometimes apppear sticky even though the meter is correct.
I always try to include at least one double or more syllable word in each line, though I don't always succeed.
Big kisseys
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Wow...yummy explanation thankyou.
I just tweaked it into submissiearln. Hope you like on a re-scan you attention seeker you...but ONLY ifs you gots the time...
thanks
little p
p = protege
Well, it DOES this round...
NEXT
LMAO
xXx
Thankyou SOOOOOO much early bearly.
You are a very kind Sonnet master.
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'Forgiveness sought...' WOW! I knew you could do it. Maybe continue line into:
'Forgiveness sought, til then I banish sleep' to get rid of another single syllable word.
That's it now and I'll leave you in 'P'eace. Signing off for a while as I need to run a marathon before swimming the Atlantic and climbing Mount Everest this afternoon.
x
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Yee-gads! You so smart My Lord and Sonnet Master...yes I am running straight back into change.
I gave you some serious cred brother.
x
Loveya and thanks a milliearln.
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You're a star, P. Thanks for the 'credit', though without your original brilliance, then I'd have nothing to offer.
Comment from Chris Tee
Wow what happened between the two of you old sport.
As for the poem I say the following:
It is filled with nostalgia and regret and the speaker is obviously at fault. Well done with an breathtaking poem here pretty girl. Just remember life is to short to have bad friends.
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reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Wow what happened between the two of you old sport.
As for the poem I say the following:
It is filled with nostalgia and regret and the speaker is obviously at fault. Well done with an breathtaking poem here pretty girl. Just remember life is to short to have bad friends.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thanks Chris...yes life is too short. I can't say what happened, but a friendship was damaged. It needs to be repaired. Thats all I can say.
Cheers and thanks a bunch.
Closet