Millie and Vicky want to fly.
What is Millie's idea?40 total reviews
Comment from oNray
Well writen and presented. I can visualize a room of children in a circle on the floor. (Being Good) as the story is being pulled from a book
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Well writen and presented. I can visualize a room of children in a circle on the floor. (Being Good) as the story is being pulled from a book
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you, oNray! That is such a nice thing to say. I am so glad you liked it. xsx
Comment from Eldercrone
This poem is really marvelous! I read it aloud to two of my friends, and we all three adored it. It even garnered a couple of laugh-alouds.. I can't tell you anything to improve because the entire piece flows like water over smooth stones! But I can tell you some of my favorite things. I loved Cyril's name; it is different and cute. I am really, REALLY impressed with your meter and your ability to to rhyme. I've only been here about a month, but this is probably th best I've read in terms of those two factors. If this work is available, I'll be reading more of it for pure pleasure.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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This poem is really marvelous! I read it aloud to two of my friends, and we all three adored it. It even garnered a couple of laugh-alouds.. I can't tell you anything to improve because the entire piece flows like water over smooth stones! But I can tell you some of my favorite things. I loved Cyril's name; it is different and cute. I am really, REALLY impressed with your meter and your ability to to rhyme. I've only been here about a month, but this is probably th best I've read in terms of those two factors. If this work is available, I'll be reading more of it for pure pleasure.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Oh, thank you Eldercrone! That is such a lovely review. And 6 stars too! I am really so pleased you and your friends liked this one, the other 7 stories about my little friends gets them doing lots of different things. I will look out for your writing, and welcome to FanStory, I joined last November and it is the best thing I have ever done. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Thank you again, for this lovely review and wonderful 6 stars! xsx
Comment from sarahmarie123
I really liked it. ... I understood that it was a childrens story. The one thing I didn't like was the verse about...I might die... Not for that young of an audience... That is purely discressionary and I am not a parent otherwise I liked it.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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I really liked it. ... I understood that it was a childrens story. The one thing I didn't like was the verse about...I might die... Not for that young of an audience... That is purely discressionary and I am not a parent otherwise I liked it.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you Sarah, for this lovely review. And thank you so, so much for the 6 stars!! I understand your misgivings about my putting the word, die, in my story, I put that in mainly because it is an expression children use all the time. Their idea of death is not how we view it, theirs is something wonderful. My granddaughter was admiring my engagement ring, a while back, and I told her it would be hers one day. She looked at me and then at my ring and said, OK, Nanny, but when I come up there, I will give it back to you. I was so overcome with the way she understood my meaning, even though I hadn't actually put it into words, but that she found the idea of dying was nothing to be afraid of. I never forgot that. Sometimes I think children have far nicer idea´s of life and death than us oldies. I am glad you liked my story on the whole, and really appreciate your coments. Thank you again, Sarah and thanks again for the lovely 6 stars. xsx
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children are resilient. true. and I am not one to talk if you have read the chapters of my book.lol. your very right, what a wise kid you got there. lets hope she retains that all through her youth...
Comment from Sally Carter
Wonderful meter throughout your charming tale, and some lovely characters.
As I read, I could imagine this being a complete book, with illustrations throughout. Possibly a little long simply as a poem, especially for the age group I imagine it is aimed at. But an illustrator would have so much fun adding artwork to this story.
A tiny typo in the title line, with an "E" missing in Hedgerow.
A most enjoyable read.
Sally
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Wonderful meter throughout your charming tale, and some lovely characters.
As I read, I could imagine this being a complete book, with illustrations throughout. Possibly a little long simply as a poem, especially for the age group I imagine it is aimed at. But an illustrator would have so much fun adding artwork to this story.
A tiny typo in the title line, with an "E" missing in Hedgerow.
A most enjoyable read.
Sally
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Sally, and for being so observant and spotting my mistake, I shall go in straight away and rectify that. I agree with you about havving my story poems illustrated, I am trying to find one for the whole lot. I have just finished my 9th story which just needs to be checked over a few times, and I can see them in my minds eye, illustrated. I can´t draw at all, matchstick men is my limit. But, anyway, thank you again for this great review. xsx.
Comment from peggles
Very well written and beautifully presented,
it has been very nicely illustrated
Pleasure to read and review
your poem has me laughing out loud
The descriptive words you used are very clever and entertaining and I can see how children will love this I know I do
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Very well written and beautifully presented,
it has been very nicely illustrated
Pleasure to read and review
your poem has me laughing out loud
The descriptive words you used are very clever and entertaining and I can see how children will love this I know I do
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you Peggles, for another lovely review on my stories, I do so appreciate them and value your comments a lot. And thank you! thank you! For all those stars! xsx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Okay, I enjoyed this chapter of your Hedgrow Capers.
They are really cute. You have an excellent talent for kiddie stories.Excellent rhyme and flow and an interesting story Thanks for sharing. Honeycomb
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Okay, I enjoyed this chapter of your Hedgrow Capers.
They are really cute. You have an excellent talent for kiddie stories.Excellent rhyme and flow and an interesting story Thanks for sharing. Honeycomb
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Honeycomb, for reviewing this one, and for the lovely words. I am really pleased you liked it, I value your comments a lot, thank you.
Comment from Lydia11
Really cut poem with marvellous rhyme/cadence. One thing I'd change is in the line :'Is it swinging that made you so poorly just now?' I would put "feel" instead of "so".And then your poem will be quite tickity boo!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Really cut poem with marvellous rhyme/cadence. One thing I'd change is in the line :'Is it swinging that made you so poorly just now?' I would put "feel" instead of "so".And then your poem will be quite tickity boo!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Lydia! Yes, it does sound better, I will certainly change it. I much prefer people to tell me if something doesn´t sound right. Thank you for such a nice review.xsx
Comment from Anisa-
I think this is absolutey perfect or childrens poetry. The rhymes are easy and so fun. The characters a great, the slow is good and it paints such a great picture. It's easy to follow. I think kids would love this. Great job.
Anisa
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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I think this is absolutey perfect or childrens poetry. The rhymes are easy and so fun. The characters a great, the slow is good and it paints such a great picture. It's easy to follow. I think kids would love this. Great job.
Anisa
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Anisa, thank you for the lovely review! xsx
Comment from hellion5
I'm still loving this. Laughed out loud several times.
Only a couple of things:
finished their homework their--the homework might be better
push us?' They called--they
Great work--
Sue
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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I'm still loving this. Laughed out loud several times.
Only a couple of things:
finished their homework their--the homework might be better
push us?' They called--they
Great work--
Sue
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you Sue, for the review and the very helpful sugestions, which I am going to take heed of and change, thank you! xsx
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You're welcome. Can't wait to read the next chapter--
Comment from TammyGail
sandra this was a lovely poem for children, one I enjoyed reading as well. It was very well written and expressed making it a great read for all ages, playful and fun. Loved your use of imagery and color scheme, thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read and review.
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reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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sandra this was a lovely poem for children, one I enjoyed reading as well. It was very well written and expressed making it a great read for all ages, playful and fun. Loved your use of imagery and color scheme, thanks for sharing it was a pleasure to read and review.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much Tammy, for this really lovely review xsx