Precious Gems: An Anthology
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "New Ground"A Rhyming Collection of Treasured Works
33 total reviews
Comment from Johnny Carwash
Oh, wow. This was excellent, Chris. This had a breezy flow to it, despite the serious subject matter. You told your story well and with great emotion. No flaws here, my dear.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2008
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Oh, wow. This was excellent, Chris. This had a breezy flow to it, despite the serious subject matter. You told your story well and with great emotion. No flaws here, my dear.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2008
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Thank you Johnny, very much. It's always great to see your encouraging reviews. It tells me I'm doing something right! xoxoxoxo
Comment from T.S.J.
This is excellent, one of the very best I've read today . It's got me wound with so many emotions, you really did great with this, I've only one suggestion. in the third par... from the bottom you wrote we are both unable than it gets carried over into the next line you write to help her , in my opinion it just doesn't sound right.. what if you replaced it with ( we both feel shes a bit unstable ) you could drop the to help her and the rest fits perfect. just a suggestion mind you. T.S.J.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2008
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This is excellent, one of the very best I've read today . It's got me wound with so many emotions, you really did great with this, I've only one suggestion. in the third par... from the bottom you wrote we are both unable than it gets carried over into the next line you write to help her , in my opinion it just doesn't sound right.. what if you replaced it with ( we both feel shes a bit unstable ) you could drop the to help her and the rest fits perfect. just a suggestion mind you. T.S.J.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2008
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I'll take a look at that! But I guess I'm trying to convey the worry of the children as they both feel inadequate to stem the flow...
Thank you very much for your thoughtful and encouraging review TSJ - very much appreciated! xoxoxoxoxo
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Just for your info TSJ! I took you advice and made that change you suggested. It does read better! So thank you for this helpful and constructive suggestion. xoxoxoxo
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You are most welcome, T.S.J.
Comment from Rajasir
Your work , my friend, does not need any approval, for it is proven and tested.When it comes to reviewing or reading a literary creation , I go for the content and the writing style, leaving the minor technicalities for the time being.What I have read has not only entertained me but given me a very clear idea that the writing was guided by a very thoughtful mind.I hope to read more of it.
bless you,
Rajasir
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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2008
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Your work , my friend, does not need any approval, for it is proven and tested.When it comes to reviewing or reading a literary creation , I go for the content and the writing style, leaving the minor technicalities for the time being.What I have read has not only entertained me but given me a very clear idea that the writing was guided by a very thoughtful mind.I hope to read more of it.
bless you,
Rajasir
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2008
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2008
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Bless you Rajasir. Your comments are not only encouraging, but they are taken as very high praise as well. I appreciate that you've taken the time to say what you have here. It lends more drive to keep on going! xoxoxoxoxo