Paper Promises
A Free Verse40 total reviews
Comment from AP Apgar
What an excellent free verse poem and picture presentation supporting - your poem is well written, and paints a clear picture comparing a 'promise' with a fragile paper boat - well constructed with proper design - instilling confidence in it's seaworthiness - only to find in time - looks and truth were not the same - watching while it sinks - finally understanding this time - like promises and deeds - some never to know the wind. - Nicely done - Bless - Alan
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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What an excellent free verse poem and picture presentation supporting - your poem is well written, and paints a clear picture comparing a 'promise' with a fragile paper boat - well constructed with proper design - instilling confidence in it's seaworthiness - only to find in time - looks and truth were not the same - watching while it sinks - finally understanding this time - like promises and deeds - some never to know the wind. - Nicely done - Bless - Alan
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Alan, thank you so much. I truly appreciate this!
Xo
Jess
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Ahhhh, your magical, beautiful, lyrical touch at work again, in all its ephemeral perfection. You have the nuances of a musician with the way your words float in and out between the subtle meter that feels like ripples on a lake. The symbolism is excruciatingly lovely, as well. There is yearning and pain in every line. Beautifully done, Miss Talent. xoxox
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Ahhhh, your magical, beautiful, lyrical touch at work again, in all its ephemeral perfection. You have the nuances of a musician with the way your words float in and out between the subtle meter that feels like ripples on a lake. The symbolism is excruciatingly lovely, as well. There is yearning and pain in every line. Beautifully done, Miss Talent. xoxox
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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That is an honor, coming from you! Thank you, beautiful, for your always uplifting words!
Xoxo
Jess
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I love the title, the meaningful message, and the two last verses. Paper Promises says so much about the weightless thoughts of a person who takes but doesn't give back. Your weightless word will never know the wind says so much about the nerve of lovers who drift in and out of our lives. A paper promise crumbles in the breeze is alliterative and speaks to the sad promises lovers make in haste when they have no intention of giving love in return.
Jesse
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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I love the title, the meaningful message, and the two last verses. Paper Promises says so much about the weightless thoughts of a person who takes but doesn't give back. Your weightless word will never know the wind says so much about the nerve of lovers who drift in and out of our lives. A paper promise crumbles in the breeze is alliterative and speaks to the sad promises lovers make in haste when they have no intention of giving love in return.
Jesse
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Jesse!
Comment from Jacob1395
You describe so well how often promises can be broken and this is what your words made me think of as I was reading your piece. Your imagery is really beautiful here and I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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You describe so well how often promises can be broken and this is what your words made me think of as I was reading your piece. Your imagery is really beautiful here and I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Jacob! That means a lot!
Comment from karenina
Your words are always painted across the page with a pastel hue -- yet they hit with the vibrancy of wildly colored oils as you splash your emotions with such skill, I'm breathless.
The paper "craft" of which you write is juxtaposed with that other, slyer craft of deception and deceit.
Within this free verse, you tuck alliteration, internal rhyme, and metaphor ~ a subtle use of poet's tools that together carry this a notch above so many others.
Pity the fools who do not realize how light a breeze of despair can send swirl us around in an eddy of loss!
"Yet, to dissolve, it takes
only a brush, a drop
of rain, a ripple's touch,
a breath- to sink
straight to the bottom
of an ocean, stripped
of color."
As ever, I admire your talent...
Karenina
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Your words are always painted across the page with a pastel hue -- yet they hit with the vibrancy of wildly colored oils as you splash your emotions with such skill, I'm breathless.
The paper "craft" of which you write is juxtaposed with that other, slyer craft of deception and deceit.
Within this free verse, you tuck alliteration, internal rhyme, and metaphor ~ a subtle use of poet's tools that together carry this a notch above so many others.
Pity the fools who do not realize how light a breeze of despair can send swirl us around in an eddy of loss!
"Yet, to dissolve, it takes
only a brush, a drop
of rain, a ripple's touch,
a breath- to sink
straight to the bottom
of an ocean, stripped
of color."
As ever, I admire your talent...
Karenina
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Karenina- your reviews are poetry in themselves! Thank you so very much, my friend. Xoxo
Jess
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If ever anyone deserves a poetic review...
It's you!
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
This poem captures the fragility of promises with striking imagery and emotional depth. I love how you describe the paper boat; it symbolizes hope and trust beautifully. The contrast between the boat's vibrant colors and its inevitable dissolution adds a poignant layer, emphasizing the disappointment that often accompanies broken promises. Your use of language is both vivid and evocative, especially in phrases like stripped of color and crumbles in the breeze. The overall theme of transience and the longing for something more lasting resonates deeply. This piece is powerful and leaves a lasting impression!
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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This poem captures the fragility of promises with striking imagery and emotional depth. I love how you describe the paper boat; it symbolizes hope and trust beautifully. The contrast between the boat's vibrant colors and its inevitable dissolution adds a poignant layer, emphasizing the disappointment that often accompanies broken promises. Your use of language is both vivid and evocative, especially in phrases like stripped of color and crumbles in the breeze. The overall theme of transience and the longing for something more lasting resonates deeply. This piece is powerful and leaves a lasting impression!
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Patty!
Comment from Nicki.B
I found this poem to be just beautiful. The emotions captured through the floating of a paper boat was fascinated, I just loved it. So heartfelt with disappointment again over more empty promises. You have a wonderful way with words, it was a pleasure to read. Well done and thanks for sharing your wonderful poem.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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I found this poem to be just beautiful. The emotions captured through the floating of a paper boat was fascinated, I just loved it. So heartfelt with disappointment again over more empty promises. You have a wonderful way with words, it was a pleasure to read. Well done and thanks for sharing your wonderful poem.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Nicki! That means the world
Comment from Dawn Munro
How sad, yet so touching and lovely -- hopefully a poem that is inspired by observing humanity and not one that is based in biological truth.
This is free verse at its finest, IMHO.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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How sad, yet so touching and lovely -- hopefully a poem that is inspired by observing humanity and not one that is based in biological truth.
This is free verse at its finest, IMHO.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, Dawn!!
Xoxo
Jess
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My pleasure! Beautiful writing!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
So many people to make paper promises. I like the metaphor you used with this poem. Very creative and it very true. It makes a perfect point. Thank you for sharing your talent and wisdom with us.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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So many people to make paper promises. I like the metaphor you used with this poem. Very creative and it very true. It makes a perfect point. Thank you for sharing your talent and wisdom with us.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you, Barbara! Xoxo
Comment from royowen
Oh yes, in a world that has ceased to understand what truth and promises mean, truth was once very precious, but now it's vanished in the malaise of little difference between morals and bias, it's ceased to have value compared to self absorption, beautifully written, well done, blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Oh yes, in a world that has ceased to understand what truth and promises mean, truth was once very precious, but now it's vanished in the malaise of little difference between morals and bias, it's ceased to have value compared to self absorption, beautifully written, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2024
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Thank you so much, my friend! Xo
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Most welcome
