I Love You, But
A father's final gift46 total reviews
Comment from Write Right Writer
Rachelle...
You are the best comedic writer I know, the "Erma Bombeck" of the 21st century. This piece is conclusive proof you are NOT even close to being a one-trick pony.
Your portrayal of Tessa's trepidation, angst, and repressed anger was masterful. The tangled web of emotional dysfunction spun over years of torture in a complicated history of abusive rejection and disapproval was visceral. The unspoken father-daughter reconciliation was palpable--years of emotional abuse and dysfunction eclipsed in a tearful and and transformative heart healing by a gift from beyond the grave. Truly outstanding work, Rachelle.
One of your greatest skills is your power of description. Whether physical items (writing desk, package, note, dish towel, mascara), reactions (trembling, tear-filled eyes, tremoring hands, reading posture, heel of shaking hands), or emotions (see below), your ability to help us see and feel something real is unparalleled. Exceptional!
The juxtaposition of, "I tell you these things so you can become your very best self" (pseudo-salve) against, "this is the salve I have sought from him my entire life" was impactful.
Special thanks for these powerful and AMAZING lines:
- I reach for my letter opener and acknowledge that I am finding wicked delight at the thought of inflicting damage onto this packaged perfection.
- a printed version of my own exposed nerve endings--bludgeons me:
- taut story lines, luscious descriptions, and lively dialogue.
- sparrows on a wire, bracing against a vicious onslaught.
Thank you for writing and for sharing this exceptional work.
Blessings...
Curt (WRW)
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Rachelle...
You are the best comedic writer I know, the "Erma Bombeck" of the 21st century. This piece is conclusive proof you are NOT even close to being a one-trick pony.
Your portrayal of Tessa's trepidation, angst, and repressed anger was masterful. The tangled web of emotional dysfunction spun over years of torture in a complicated history of abusive rejection and disapproval was visceral. The unspoken father-daughter reconciliation was palpable--years of emotional abuse and dysfunction eclipsed in a tearful and and transformative heart healing by a gift from beyond the grave. Truly outstanding work, Rachelle.
One of your greatest skills is your power of description. Whether physical items (writing desk, package, note, dish towel, mascara), reactions (trembling, tear-filled eyes, tremoring hands, reading posture, heel of shaking hands), or emotions (see below), your ability to help us see and feel something real is unparalleled. Exceptional!
The juxtaposition of, "I tell you these things so you can become your very best self" (pseudo-salve) against, "this is the salve I have sought from him my entire life" was impactful.
Special thanks for these powerful and AMAZING lines:
- I reach for my letter opener and acknowledge that I am finding wicked delight at the thought of inflicting damage onto this packaged perfection.
- a printed version of my own exposed nerve endings--bludgeons me:
- taut story lines, luscious descriptions, and lively dialogue.
- sparrows on a wire, bracing against a vicious onslaught.
Thank you for writing and for sharing this exceptional work.
Blessings...
Curt (WRW)
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you noticing and especially for saying I'm not a one-trick pony. Very much appreciated.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Ahh, this is a heartwarming story of a father's and daughter's love that went haywire. The father, often too proud, but realized what he'd done wrong and made it right. Thank you for sharing this emotional post.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Ahh, this is a heartwarming story of a father's and daughter's love that went haywire. The father, often too proud, but realized what he'd done wrong and made it right. Thank you for sharing this emotional post.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Thank you for such a warm + validating review. Xo
Comment from Zue65
I resonate with the message of the author. This is general fiction, but it struck a chord in me for it is so close to home. My father is just like Tessa's Dad. I enjoyed reading your story. What an excellent write. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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I resonate with the message of the author. This is general fiction, but it struck a chord in me for it is so close to home. My father is just like Tessa's Dad. I enjoyed reading your story. What an excellent write. Keep writing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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I so appreciate this. Thank you, Zue65.
Comment from Soledadpaz
Nice twist at the end on the phraseology of I love you, but. The father at the last moment acknowledged his true love and admiration for his talented daughter. And paved the way for her future success and validation.
Sol
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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Nice twist at the end on the phraseology of I love you, but. The father at the last moment acknowledged his true love and admiration for his talented daughter. And paved the way for her future success and validation.
Sol
Comment Written 25-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2022
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It's always possible to make it right. Thank you for this super nice review.
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is definitely a six; I'm so sorry I don't have another one. Extremely well written story. Too bad the father didn't encourage his daughter's writing while he was still alive. I can relate to the "I love you, but...." I also love the twist of "gift of a lifetime." Blessings.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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This is definitely a six; I'm so sorry I don't have another one. Extremely well written story. Too bad the father didn't encourage his daughter's writing while he was still alive. I can relate to the "I love you, but...." I also love the twist of "gift of a lifetime." Blessings.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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It's not always so simple for powerful Y-chromosome types to speak conciliatory words. Often, they choke on them. Many times, those who love them have to read between their unspoken lines. (I, like Tessa, am the strong, over-achieving daughter of such a man. I fiercely adored him just the same. He's been dead forty years now, yet still, every day, I continue to over-achieve because I would never want to dishonor his memory by being less than my potential.
A million thank-you's for this absolutely beautiful, UNDERSTANDING review. You so totally "get it," and the validation of that feels incredible. xo
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Thanks for your beautiful words. Yes, I totally understand that 'overachieving' need and the desire to not dishonor the memory!
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I had a hunch you did.
Comment from royowen
I love this story and it's raft of e,options, but the one that grabbed me the most was that statement, you've been flying around in the clouds too long, it's time to put your feet on the, the heavens are fine, but it won't do you any earthly good, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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I love this story and it's raft of e,options, but the one that grabbed me the most was that statement, you've been flying around in the clouds too long, it's time to put your feet on the, the heavens are fine, but it won't do you any earthly good, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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Uh-oh; I think this was intended for another writer's piece, Roy. These words aren't in my piece.
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I know that, it was my paraphrasing Rachelle, perhaps I was too ?creative?
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Oh gosh; I'm so sorry, Roy. I took it too literally. Thanks for the lovely review.
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That?s OK
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Whew! What a story. The comparisons are just superbly done~the descriptions of your writing desk, the description of the package wrapping. All created razor-sharp imagery.
Your vocabulary and the way you weaved Tessa's present actions and thoughts as she reads this final letter from her father are masterfully done. This my dear Rach authentically shows the troubled interactions MANY children have with a strong-willed parent. This is so well-done and is a piece you can be proud of penning.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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Whew! What a story. The comparisons are just superbly done~the descriptions of your writing desk, the description of the package wrapping. All created razor-sharp imagery.
Your vocabulary and the way you weaved Tessa's present actions and thoughts as she reads this final letter from her father are masterfully done. This my dear Rach authentically shows the troubled interactions MANY children have with a strong-willed parent. This is so well-done and is a piece you can be proud of penning.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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Thanks for "getting it," Sandy, and for this beautiful, encouraging review. The extra star is a wonder perk, too, because I know you do not bestow them willy-nilly!! xo
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You deserve every stat. This is a great piece of writing. You are most welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a neat tale of the daughter who roared, and the tamer who kept the lion entertaining the people with what great lions do. To be understood, and have that reflected on the page, is one thing; just as to understand oneself, and do the same, is perhaps even more important.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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This is a neat tale of the daughter who roared, and the tamer who kept the lion entertaining the people with what great lions do. To be understood, and have that reflected on the page, is one thing; just as to understand oneself, and do the same, is perhaps even more important.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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What a perfect analogy! I'd never have thought of it like that, but you're exactly right. Thank you for this terrific review and also for the generous extra star. So very appreciated, both! xo
Comment from Terry Broxson
I finally decided it should get a six-star rating for creativity and writing. I think your writing skills are very well polished, an upper class if you will. The rest of us are plowing through the muck.
The creativity of the story is very well done. With that said, I am still tempted to kick the father's butt. Exceptional work. Terry.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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I finally decided it should get a six-star rating for creativity and writing. I think your writing skills are very well polished, an upper class if you will. The rest of us are plowing through the muck.
The creativity of the story is very well done. With that said, I am still tempted to kick the father's butt. Exceptional work. Terry.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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How could you? I am sitting here awash in tears on a holiday! You have no shame.
This, really, is the sweetest review another writer, one whose works I have always admired and been moved by, could leave me. Thank you for these very special words, Terry. xo (And don't be too hard on the father. Chances are he was raised in a like manner, so that's all he knew how to pass on down the line. And, to his credit, he did do well in the business world AND he left behind an amazing daughter who adored him. Tough Love isn't all bad.)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
"You know I love you," but where have you been I haven't received any releases from you in what seems months. Is everything ok? Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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"You know I love you," but where have you been I haven't received any releases from you in what seems months. Is everything ok? Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2022
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I'm fine, physically. I'm just pretty disgruntled with the contest system here. I feel it's being scammed/gamed to epic proportions, yet Tom couldn't care less. So, in turn, I couldn't care less about participating.
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:-)
"I understand" as Charlie Harper would say, not understanding at all. It's contrary to what he really thinks but it works for him on Two and a 1/2 Men.
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Lucky for you, Charlie, I'm a teacher, so I'm patient about re-explaining things:
There is a member on this site who "miraculously" wins contest after contest after contest after contest with, at BEST, mediocre entries. Said member receives six-star reviews from "other members" who review ONLY the contest-winner members writings. To me (and countless others) this seems like the contest winner has many bogus accounts and uses them to vote for herself (i.e. stuff the ballot box). This has been called to Tom's attention, and yet STILL the "wins" persist. I love competing when the competition isn't rigged. But when it is (and it SO OBVIOUSLY IS!) then there is no point in participating. It becomes folly.
Did I clear up your consternation? If not, Charlie, please let me know, and I'll try again. The educator in me NEVER tires of trying to break through and get my point across!!
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;-O
I thought I was agreeing with you.
I always felt as you do. The winners get more member cents which allows them to post more works offering greater payments to reviewers, a tiring cycle of nepotism, in a way. Be well.
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You said you were like Charlie Harper, agreeing though you didn't understand.
Plus, the $$$ they make from the wins, they can pour back into acquiring more memberships...that can go on to casting more ballots and winning more contests. I find it insulting that it's so flagrant and yet never stopped.
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I'm not like Charlie. Don't think I said so. Only gave him as an example of "TOM" disregarding your concern. nuff said. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.
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That wasn't very clear.