The Challenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Challenge, Act I, Scene 2"Young Man Has Doubts About Becoming a Priest
38 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
It didn't seem long at all, Jay. I loved every word of it. You've built up such suspense on this secret the girls are hiding with Phillip, then Mom comes in and adds a time constraint.
Poor Philip at the mercy of ruthless teenage girls!
Love the direction your story is going.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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It didn't seem long at all, Jay. I loved every word of it. You've built up such suspense on this secret the girls are hiding with Phillip, then Mom comes in and adds a time constraint.
Poor Philip at the mercy of ruthless teenage girls!
Love the direction your story is going.
Have a great week,
Rhonda
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much, Rhonda. Your encouragement is keeping me going. I hope you won't find the controversial turn this will take in subsequent scenes. I fear I will lose some of my followers. Your six stars is icing. Double rich chocolate icing. Yummmm!
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If you lose readers they are the ones with problems! I look forward to whatever direction this follows.
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Thank you, Rhonda.
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Are you posting a chapter tomorrow?
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In 55 minutes ...
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Nice!
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
That's one thing about Catholic sins ... they can be committed only in the privacy of your mind, but that still counts. So, they need to be forgiven. Again and again.' I will send this on to my very Catholic father. It is so on point, your way with words have made this a real joy to read I love everything you write this is a real standout I am sorry if anyone says your work is too long for me it can never be long enough! Well done love and best wishes Meia xx
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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That's one thing about Catholic sins ... they can be committed only in the privacy of your mind, but that still counts. So, they need to be forgiven. Again and again.' I will send this on to my very Catholic father. It is so on point, your way with words have made this a real joy to read I love everything you write this is a real standout I am sorry if anyone says your work is too long for me it can never be long enough! Well done love and best wishes Meia xx
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Meia you are sweet. And your six stars light up my sky. I'm afraid your very Catholic father will be throwing some of future scene quotes back in your face. My play will take a controversial turn, especially in two chapters, and I'm afraid I may lose a few followers.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Jay Squires,
First, Summary of Scene1( A good idea, indeed.), And then the scene 2, Lengthy, but interesting!
Impressive wording; captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, beautifully depicting the reminiscences related to Phillip, Marcia, Barbara, and their enjoyment.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the scene.
Nice presentation; worth enjoying!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Hello Jay Squires,
First, Summary of Scene1( A good idea, indeed.), And then the scene 2, Lengthy, but interesting!
Impressive wording; captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, beautifully depicting the reminiscences related to Phillip, Marcia, Barbara, and their enjoyment.
Picture enhances depth and beauty of the scene.
Nice presentation; worth enjoying!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Many many thanks, RP. Your reviews are always welcome and your sixes are lavish! Thank you, my friend.
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Jay Squires, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from amahra
Wow, you did a fine job with setting us up, Jay. I was as eager as Barbara to get to the juicy part. That is, the juicy part I think it is. I love the dialogue between the three. It really made them come alive. Just one thing below:
"You were so good, I always wondered [why] you didn't play there as a freshman." [Delete 'by']
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Wow, you did a fine job with setting us up, Jay. I was as eager as Barbara to get to the juicy part. That is, the juicy part I think it is. I love the dialogue between the three. It really made them come alive. Just one thing below:
"You were so good, I always wondered [why] you didn't play there as a freshman." [Delete 'by']
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you for picking up on the SPAG. A rookie mistake. You made my day saying the dialogue works. Wouldn't be much of a play if that was my weak area. LOL, There will be some controversial turns in the forthcoming scenes, particularly scene 4. Your six stars shine in my night-time sky!
Comment from royowen
I'm really liking the dynamics of the interaction between the two Girls, and the not yet ordained giant Philip 6'7" 300 lb priest, and the sheer awkwardness of these probably nubile young women, and an obviously male would be holy man, you've probably had this stewing in your boiler for awhile. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : I often wondered (by) you as a freshman. Why?
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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I'm really liking the dynamics of the interaction between the two Girls, and the not yet ordained giant Philip 6'7" 300 lb priest, and the sheer awkwardness of these probably nubile young women, and an obviously male would be holy man, you've probably had this stewing in your boiler for awhile. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : I often wondered (by) you as a freshman. Why?
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Much obliged, Roy. I know I already answered this review. Darn it all! I remember being tickled by your "stewing in your boiler". Yours isn't the only one. They keep coming back, but I only get credit for the review just once. Anyway, thank you so much for your interest in my writing.
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Well done
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I laughed reading this part, and of course I had no idea about it:"BARBARA:
Well, I have. And I might again. That's one thing about Catholic sins ... they can be committed only in the privacy of your mind, but that still counts. So, they need to be forgiven. Again and again." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next scene, it seems there are lots of things left untold.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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I laughed reading this part, and of course I had no idea about it:"BARBARA:
Well, I have. And I might again. That's one thing about Catholic sins ... they can be committed only in the privacy of your mind, but that still counts. So, they need to be forgiven. Again and again." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next scene, it seems there are lots of things left untold.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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I've thanked you before, but it still keeps coming back. So ... Thank you again. Your six is wonderful!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Please--hurry with the next! I've dying to get the scoop on what happened--you've leave the reader tantalized--this will play well on stage. Brilliant repartee--richly drawn characters.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Please--hurry with the next! I've dying to get the scoop on what happened--you've leave the reader tantalized--this will play well on stage. Brilliant repartee--richly drawn characters.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Liz ... for the second time. I did a whole page of thank you's , hit enter and they came right back, undone!
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Happens to all of us--if you hit next page rather than send replies.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, quite an interesting conversation with strong individual personalities. I am only guessing here, but this will be a play that deal with or addresses the Catholic belief? As far as religions go, it is the safest to... lets say explore without too many issues.
Good writing and in keeping with your script style.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Hmm, quite an interesting conversation with strong individual personalities. I am only guessing here, but this will be a play that deal with or addresses the Catholic belief? As far as religions go, it is the safest to... lets say explore without too many issues.
Good writing and in keeping with your script style.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Lance. I've answered this before, at great length, but it keeps coming bank, unanswered.