The Other Side
Story in a Poem38 total reviews
Comment from Gracie619
What an incredibly well written piece, of course, and one that brought some peace and tranquility to my work day. I took a break at work to read and enjoyed this so very much. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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What an incredibly well written piece, of course, and one that brought some peace and tranquility to my work day. I took a break at work to read and enjoyed this so very much. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Gracie. I hope you didn't snort your coffee and give your co-workers something to laugh at as well!
Steve
Comment from TPAC
The folly of a soul, given freedom of choices that balance their fates, presented conquest or defeat enduring circumstances. So many lives, seeming young innocents who chanced a risk then apply them to a more secured path. All in my opinion of this read.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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The folly of a soul, given freedom of choices that balance their fates, presented conquest or defeat enduring circumstances. So many lives, seeming young innocents who chanced a risk then apply them to a more secured path. All in my opinion of this read.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thank you for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from Boogienights
This is fantastic! What a wild story with way to ok many people going down. Lol. To me it's a horror story because I can't swin and I'm afraid of water. A great entry for the contest..best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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This is fantastic! What a wild story with way to ok many people going down. Lol. To me it's a horror story because I can't swin and I'm afraid of water. A great entry for the contest..best of luck to you.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Boogie.
Steve
Comment from WryWriter
Excellent poetic work. Great rhyming scheme and flow. I love the "biscuit" and "risk it" rhyme. Very amusing and a story within itself. Good artwork choice for theme. Enjoyed!
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Excellent poetic work. Great rhyming scheme and flow. I love the "biscuit" and "risk it" rhyme. Very amusing and a story within itself. Good artwork choice for theme. Enjoyed!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, WW.
This was one of those half-hour poems. The words just poured onto paper.
Steve
Comment from LisaMay
Love your sense of humour Steve. That Norm wasn't much of a neighbour if he didn't offer his bridge earlier. Maybe he didn't go to all those funerals. Do you eat moss in heaven? I hope the diet has improved up there. Poets deserve better. Here's wishing you caviar and pheasant and salmon.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Love your sense of humour Steve. That Norm wasn't much of a neighbour if he didn't offer his bridge earlier. Maybe he didn't go to all those funerals. Do you eat moss in heaven? I hope the diet has improved up there. Poets deserve better. Here's wishing you caviar and pheasant and salmon.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, LM. I think I'll stick to my moss down here and take whatever comes in the other place!
Steve
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Too right.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! Well told story poem with a message for us all. We do think we can really come up with our own solutions when all we needed was to ask help from a neighbor. Seems they could have come up with something before three siblings were lost.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Lol! Well told story poem with a message for us all. We do think we can really come up with our own solutions when all we needed was to ask help from a neighbor. Seems they could have come up with something before three siblings were lost.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, helen. yes, the final line really does point up the absurdity of the whole poem, doesn't it, although I should add that the beginning at least is based in reality.
Steve
Comment from janalma
What a sad, humorous story. It left me with a giggle. Looking down from heaven, all is clear. Good story that covers the bases of really, really sad and also funny. Lol. So many young men lost. Enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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What a sad, humorous story. It left me with a giggle. Looking down from heaven, all is clear. Good story that covers the bases of really, really sad and also funny. Lol. So many young men lost. Enjoyed this.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Jan for the wagon-load of stars. Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
I love this Steve. What a fun read. I chuckled all through it. Your humorous rhymes
are very clever and the story moves along nicely with the fast paced meter.
This should definitely win the contest. Good luck!
Nancy
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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I love this Steve. What a fun read. I chuckled all through it. Your humorous rhymes
are very clever and the story moves along nicely with the fast paced meter.
This should definitely win the contest. Good luck!
Nancy
Comment Written 13-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, nancy for the great review and the six stars. Glad you enjoyed.
As for winning the contest, I've just won one - does lightning strike twice? We'll have to wait and see.
Steve
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This fascinating piece, somewhat balladlike, carries the reader through
a series of harrowing experiences, including several deaths, that--it turns
out--could have been prevented by using a nearby actual bridge! This poem
reminds me of people that make all types of bad choices in life while over-
looking obvious good ones. They're all still alive.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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This fascinating piece, somewhat balladlike, carries the reader through
a series of harrowing experiences, including several deaths, that--it turns
out--could have been prevented by using a nearby actual bridge! This poem
reminds me of people that make all types of bad choices in life while over-
looking obvious good ones. They're all still alive.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Janice. Your review reminds me of the Darwin Awards which are handed out to people who have made such stupid decisions that they deserve to be removed from the gene pool forever!
Steve
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Oh! Did I go REALLY astray with my
review!? I truly want to know.
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No, Janice. I'm simply referring to the characters in the poem. As you say, they overlooked the obvious solution. It was your line about making really bad choices that brought the Darwin Awards to mind.
Comment from Brigitte Elko
This is an amazing rendition of a story in a rhyming poem. There is nothing to change and the end is delightful. Human error at its best. WELL DONE! If I could give this 10 stars, I would.
Blessings,
Brigitte
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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This is an amazing rendition of a story in a rhyming poem. There is nothing to change and the end is delightful. Human error at its best. WELL DONE! If I could give this 10 stars, I would.
Blessings,
Brigitte
Comment Written 13-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2019
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Brigitte, thanks so much for the great, enthusiastic review. I'll be happy with seven stars which is what the committee hands oiut for site contest winners.
PS I did think of making the 'hero' of the story a girl, in which case she would undoubtedly have been called Bridge-it!
Steve
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Awesome!
Bridge-it