This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Hello! I'm Gladys."Third book in the time travel trilogy
42 total reviews
Comment from meeshu
you know, as I was reading it occurred to me--wouldn't it be interesting to know how the various men feel about all this. I guess we are about to find out. a great piece about a fascinating time in history, Sandra...................meeshu
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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you know, as I was reading it occurred to me--wouldn't it be interesting to know how the various men feel about all this. I guess we are about to find out. a great piece about a fascinating time in history, Sandra...................meeshu
Comment Written 28-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much, Meeshu, for this lovely review. You are going to find out how one man feels about it in the next part. Men can be so churlish. At least in the majority of countries their attitude has changed for the better, but not all. Thanks again, ,my friend. :) xx
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, I think it would be funny if one of the wives was tossed in jail. Yes, it would be utterly scandalous and not befitting the stiff upper lips.
Great job, Sandra. I'm glad I'm along for the ride on this most delightful tale.
Gloria
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Ha, I think it would be funny if one of the wives was tossed in jail. Yes, it would be utterly scandalous and not befitting the stiff upper lips.
Great job, Sandra. I'm glad I'm along for the ride on this most delightful tale.
Gloria
Comment Written 28-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Watch this space! Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review, Gloria. it is so encouraging. The women had it really hard back in those times. Men can be so bullish!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a good addition that you've written onto your story. I liked the historical descriptions and thought you nailed it with the recounting of decor, street scenes and the bad temper of the husband who didn't want suffragettes in the house. I can't wait til the next installment.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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This is a good addition that you've written onto your story. I liked the historical descriptions and thought you nailed it with the recounting of decor, street scenes and the bad temper of the husband who didn't want suffragettes in the house. I can't wait til the next installment.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much, Sugarray, for this very encouraging review! I really appreciate your comment. Next part will be coming later in the week. :)) Big hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from Beck Fenton
It's always an enjoyable read, Sandra! Educating, also! Looks like this one starts off right away with tension!
The title of your 3rd book might be... Between This Time and That... no need for the second Time. And I love the artwork! Congratulations!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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It's always an enjoyable read, Sandra! Educating, also! Looks like this one starts off right away with tension!
The title of your 3rd book might be... Between This Time and That... no need for the second Time. And I love the artwork! Congratulations!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Actually, that would work really well. I've been so concerned with keeping the 'that time' part, but really, it's not necessary. Thank you so much for your input, Beck. I really appreciate that. Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes and a clear mind to see what is hidden from the author. It's the same with editing. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, and found it educating too. I try to throw in some facts within the fictional part, and enjoy researching for them. Thank you for reading and for the lovely review. :) Sandra xx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
It sounds a though he has already been informed his wife was among the protesters and had almost been arrested. If the police sergeant hadn't recognized her she would have been. I think the ladies are about to learn why they have been sent back in time. Soon we will too. LOL Good job Sandra. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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It sounds a though he has already been informed his wife was among the protesters and had almost been arrested. If the police sergeant hadn't recognized her she would have been. I think the ladies are about to learn why they have been sent back in time. Soon we will too. LOL Good job Sandra. Nancy:)
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Yes, he knows. He is not a nice man, Nancy. I think the men of that era and before, liked it when the women did as they were told and didn't answer back. I'm sure the suffragettes were hated by many husbands!! Veronica and Mildred have a tough job on their hands this time. So, it's good that Mildred is there with Veronica. :)) Thanks, Nancy.I'm glad you enjoyed it.. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from RGstar
Nicely balanced. As you know, I haven't been following this sequel of the book, but did the first.
On my return after three months away, good to come and peek, and impressed how you tied in the suffragettes movement into your story, a sort of outside looking in, yet very much a part.
Good to see a nice balance and routine in the language that is even more evident not being present through all.
You are doing a great job. Keep it up.
Good writing.
My best wishes.
RG
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Nicely balanced. As you know, I haven't been following this sequel of the book, but did the first.
On my return after three months away, good to come and peek, and impressed how you tied in the suffragettes movement into your story, a sort of outside looking in, yet very much a part.
Good to see a nice balance and routine in the language that is even more evident not being present through all.
You are doing a great job. Keep it up.
Good writing.
My best wishes.
RG
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Bless you, RG, what a lovely review and thank you for the lovely 5 stars. I've also been off for a while, just popping in when I could. This is the beginning of the third and final book in this series. I'm really pleased you enjoyed reading it. Thank you so very much, my friend. I'll look out for some more of your wonderful poetry. :)) Sandra xxx
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Sandra, I thought I had placed six stars on this, for the very art of the inclusion of that point in history, as well the way included, was worth every sixth star, even if missed, so no it worth. An excellent chapter.
Comment from JDRBAR
The interaction between Gladys and Mary was wonderfully done, setting up the possible reason for Veronica and Mildred being there.
Possible title? "Into That Time"
Unfortunately, I'm losing interest in FanStory. You know why. I'll continue posting my story but won't be adding anything new (at least not for awhile). I'm finding myself drawn more and more to my second passion in life. Genealogy. Wish I could time travel to the UK. I'm sure I'd find my missing links easier. My mom's side came from Tyldesley and surrounding area.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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The interaction between Gladys and Mary was wonderfully done, setting up the possible reason for Veronica and Mildred being there.
Possible title? "Into That Time"
Unfortunately, I'm losing interest in FanStory. You know why. I'll continue posting my story but won't be adding anything new (at least not for awhile). I'm finding myself drawn more and more to my second passion in life. Genealogy. Wish I could time travel to the UK. I'm sure I'd find my missing links easier. My mom's side came from Tyldesley and surrounding area.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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I can't say I blame you, Diane. I would be the same. I haven't been on here much lately, There are some things happening on here that just aren't right. It's not the site it was when I joined donkey's years ago. Shame. But you have been treated terribly. Your book is superb, and I do want you to finish it so I know how it ends for the girls and their brother now they are all split up.
Thank you for reading this chapter, yes, the setting will become more apparent in the next few parts. Take care, my friend, and never, ever give up your writing! You are too good at it. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from rama devi
Bravo again on writing a chapter with deep POV and superb pacing and fine descriptive detail and time-culture context that drew me right in and held my attention start to finished. Superb characterization. I do have a few minor suggestions for your consideration:
* as my eyes tried desperately to understand what they were seeing.
Eyes do not 'understand', dear...the brain does...so this phrase made me pause and go HUH? I suggest:
as I tried desperately to understand what my eyes were seeing.
or
as my mind tried desperately to understand what my eyes were seeing.
*
Mildred's head was gyrating from left to right, her eyes widening at each turn.
best to avoid passive voicing an using WAS. Suggest:
Mildred's head gyrated from left to right, her eyes widening at each turn.
*
I tapped her hand and pointed to the woman knelt(kneeling) down tying her boot laces,
*
Within minutes, the number of police had swollen(swelled, not swollen, I think)
*
'What happened? I thought he was going to put you in the van.(,)' I said, taking hold of her arm.
* I could see she was agitated by the way she was wringing her hands.
Always optimal to avoid COULD SEE (especially since it is already implied by the deep POV)...a tighter way to say this might be
She wrung her hands and gave an agitated sigh.
or
She wrung her hands in agitation.
or simply:
She wrung her hands.
(This latter version implies agitation...so the wordier options are slightly superfluous)
*here, the COULD SEE works fine and need not be changed:
even though Mildred and I could see this was unexpected, and possibly, unwelcome news.
But another option would be:
even though Mildred and I noticed this was unexpected, and possibly, unwelcome news.
Or, without needing to mention the observers (as they are implied):
Gladys kept calm, even though her pale face revealed this was unexpected, and possibly, unwelcome new
Almost a six. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Bravo again on writing a chapter with deep POV and superb pacing and fine descriptive detail and time-culture context that drew me right in and held my attention start to finished. Superb characterization. I do have a few minor suggestions for your consideration:
* as my eyes tried desperately to understand what they were seeing.
Eyes do not 'understand', dear...the brain does...so this phrase made me pause and go HUH? I suggest:
as I tried desperately to understand what my eyes were seeing.
or
as my mind tried desperately to understand what my eyes were seeing.
*
Mildred's head was gyrating from left to right, her eyes widening at each turn.
best to avoid passive voicing an using WAS. Suggest:
Mildred's head gyrated from left to right, her eyes widening at each turn.
*
I tapped her hand and pointed to the woman knelt(kneeling) down tying her boot laces,
*
Within minutes, the number of police had swollen(swelled, not swollen, I think)
*
'What happened? I thought he was going to put you in the van.(,)' I said, taking hold of her arm.
* I could see she was agitated by the way she was wringing her hands.
Always optimal to avoid COULD SEE (especially since it is already implied by the deep POV)...a tighter way to say this might be
She wrung her hands and gave an agitated sigh.
or
She wrung her hands in agitation.
or simply:
She wrung her hands.
(This latter version implies agitation...so the wordier options are slightly superfluous)
*here, the COULD SEE works fine and need not be changed:
even though Mildred and I could see this was unexpected, and possibly, unwelcome news.
But another option would be:
even though Mildred and I noticed this was unexpected, and possibly, unwelcome news.
Or, without needing to mention the observers (as they are implied):
Gladys kept calm, even though her pale face revealed this was unexpected, and possibly, unwelcome new
Almost a six. Bravo.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 26-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much, Rama! I burst out laughing when I read the one about the eyes!!! I will change the post-haste! LOL I've copied and pasted you review to my MS word and will go through it properly. I miss things when I go straight to the copy on here. I'm delighted to read you considered it 'almost a 6' High praise coming from you, my friend! Thank you. :) Sandra xxx
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Your enthusiastic response brings a smile, dear. Yay! :-)) xxoo
Comment from Mastery
Good writing again, Sandra. I appreciate your work and will continuw to read and review it, however, one hand washes the other and ai have not heard from you in ages. Sorry. Bob
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Good writing again, Sandra. I appreciate your work and will continuw to read and review it, however, one hand washes the other and ai have not heard from you in ages. Sorry. Bob
Comment Written 26-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Hi Bob, thank you for reading this part. I am sorry I haven't gotten around to reading yours, as I told you last time, I am just bogged down with problems at home, to give you an idea, my brother and his wife were driving along the road when a lorry crashed into them, that had terrible consequences which I just can't talk about. Then last week my husband was driving and our car burst into flames. I haven't done much writing myself, I never posted last week and am struggling to get this book out. Those two examples are the tip of the iceberg. I just hope you understand it is not personal, I haven't been on here much in the last few months. Thanks again for the review! :) Sandra x
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Hi, Sandra. Yes, I understand all of that, but what I don't understand is your ability to find time to post a chapter and yet no time to review your friends work. see what I mean? Please, let it not worry you, my friend. Come and see me again when you are cleared a bit. Thanks, Bob :)
Comment from aryr
This was a great chapter Sandra. Poor Mildred suffered from her first time travel. It was a nice touch to have them show up during a suffragettes march. It was a little concerning that when Gladys offered tea, her maid Mary advised her that Glady's husband, his Lordship was home and in a terrible temper. He will be worthy of watching. Good chapter, thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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This was a great chapter Sandra. Poor Mildred suffered from her first time travel. It was a nice touch to have them show up during a suffragettes march. It was a little concerning that when Gladys offered tea, her maid Mary advised her that Glady's husband, his Lordship was home and in a terrible temper. He will be worthy of watching. Good chapter, thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2018
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Than you so much, Alie, for your wonderful review. Yes, you should keep an eye of him, he is not a nice person as you will find out in the next part. Big hugs, dear friend. :) Sandra xxx
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It is a great story Sandra and I shall indeed watch him, big hugs in return, blessings Alie.