Midnight Echoes
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Midnight Echoes"A Wreath of Sicilian Sonnets
61 total reviews
Comment from IndianaIrish
Tony, how can I give this amazing epic wreath of sonnets anything except a six-star rating? It's truly a masterpiece, and I didn't find anything needing another look. I'm truly stunned and then you throw in an acrostic for the ending. Everything is exceptional...meter, alliteration, rhyme, imagery, and most of all...emotion. Congratulations on this incredible piece of work, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. WOW!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Tony, how can I give this amazing epic wreath of sonnets anything except a six-star rating? It's truly a masterpiece, and I didn't find anything needing another look. I'm truly stunned and then you throw in an acrostic for the ending. Everything is exceptional...meter, alliteration, rhyme, imagery, and most of all...emotion. Congratulations on this incredible piece of work, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. WOW!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your very kind words, Karyn, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Kerry Wanstall
Tony, I was enthralled by your magnificent Wreath Of Sicilian Sonnets. With your carefully chosen words and beautiful imagery, your Poem reminds the reader of many important truths and realities that we all face.
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Tony, I was enthralled by your magnificent Wreath Of Sicilian Sonnets. With your carefully chosen words and beautiful imagery, your Poem reminds the reader of many important truths and realities that we all face.
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your very kind words, Kerry, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Phillip C Kuhn
It was a bit long, but it held the readers interest the whole way through from start to finish, the image was a great companion for the poem, I loved the read, good words
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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It was a bit long, but it held the readers interest the whole way through from start to finish, the image was a great companion for the poem, I loved the read, good words
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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Very many thanks, Phillip, for taking the time to read this lengthy sequence. I appreciate your kind response. All the best, Tony
Comment from w.j.debi
I have worked on a crown of heroic sonnets for a while, but this is the first time I've heard of a wreath of heroic sonnets. Based on the All Sonnets website, the difference is that sonnet 15 in the wreath is acrostic. Just one more challenge to overcome.
Excellent job, Tony. I especially liked the section about the Selkie and the closing sonnet. This is quite an achievement. I know it took a lot of talent and concentrated effort to do it.
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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I have worked on a crown of heroic sonnets for a while, but this is the first time I've heard of a wreath of heroic sonnets. Based on the All Sonnets website, the difference is that sonnet 15 in the wreath is acrostic. Just one more challenge to overcome.
Excellent job, Tony. I especially liked the section about the Selkie and the closing sonnet. This is quite an achievement. I know it took a lot of talent and concentrated effort to do it.
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your very kind words, WJ, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Wabigoon
Tony--
Hi, this is an "A" for effort sort of thing. This has to be one of the most extensive poetic efforts I've seen here aside from a guy whose name I can't recall -- really good -- who used to write these vast poems about the south, (USA) church burnings, etc. No punctuation, pacing, proofreading, anything else, but vast ambition. You are more learned and put vast ambition into this formal setting. Part of me wishes you wouldn't have because I think it binds you. How? In my estimation there's no central question here to root this and make it compelling. With the number of times you mentions dreaming it could be dreaming. Then there are the number of times you mention "waking," presumably from "dreaming." What about waking...into dreaming as a form of consciousness that is in some ways higher? Or, how about waking from the death sleep of the lowest levels of consciousness or into them?
I think you figure as a character here as the person who liberates himself from a money-role bound past into one with greater freedom and perhaps the issue is...to do what?
Dammit, I find that question, and this vast poem bound by word and notions like "selkie," if I have that right, which had a meaning in Shakespeare's day, a bit in ours, but which, are simple archaic, in my estimation to hue to Shakespearean thunder without the thunder. If you want to use that thunder I think you need a similar, very clear, issue. There are elements of issues here, and maybe I miss your "issue," but it, more than anything, needs to be clear. It feels like that's what you're trying to do here, invoke the Shakespearean thunder in a new way. It only partially works for me.
This poem is so vast I think it may not be done.
So, "A" for effort but...if you wanna evoke "S?" then evoke some of his terrifying issues.
Best
Jeff
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
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Tony--
Hi, this is an "A" for effort sort of thing. This has to be one of the most extensive poetic efforts I've seen here aside from a guy whose name I can't recall -- really good -- who used to write these vast poems about the south, (USA) church burnings, etc. No punctuation, pacing, proofreading, anything else, but vast ambition. You are more learned and put vast ambition into this formal setting. Part of me wishes you wouldn't have because I think it binds you. How? In my estimation there's no central question here to root this and make it compelling. With the number of times you mentions dreaming it could be dreaming. Then there are the number of times you mention "waking," presumably from "dreaming." What about waking...into dreaming as a form of consciousness that is in some ways higher? Or, how about waking from the death sleep of the lowest levels of consciousness or into them?
I think you figure as a character here as the person who liberates himself from a money-role bound past into one with greater freedom and perhaps the issue is...to do what?
Dammit, I find that question, and this vast poem bound by word and notions like "selkie," if I have that right, which had a meaning in Shakespeare's day, a bit in ours, but which, are simple archaic, in my estimation to hue to Shakespearean thunder without the thunder. If you want to use that thunder I think you need a similar, very clear, issue. There are elements of issues here, and maybe I miss your "issue," but it, more than anything, needs to be clear. It feels like that's what you're trying to do here, invoke the Shakespearean thunder in a new way. It only partially works for me.
This poem is so vast I think it may not be done.
So, "A" for effort but...if you wanna evoke "S?" then evoke some of his terrifying issues.
Best
Jeff
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind words and six stars, Jeff.
It was an intricate undertaking and by the halfway stage I was certainly beginning to falter. The contents of the trash bin were accumulating fast! I think you are right in saying that the sequence needs a greater focus on a single issue. I was constrained by the stringent requirements of rhyme repetition. More of an academic exercise than one arising from a particular passion, it does perhaps lack the fire of a freer and more unrestrained form.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and review it.
I have made a few minor changes in hindsight, after considering some of the advice of other reviewers.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good gracious me, Tony!
I have a difficult enough time just writing a single sonnet (just ask Jim Barrett, lol) and keeping it in iambic pentameter.
But this... this is an amazing epic undertaking.
Not only are your notes helpful and informative, this Sheath of Sonnets is something I can only aspire to.
My hat's off to you, mate.
This is simply brilliant.
~Dean
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
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Good gracious me, Tony!
I have a difficult enough time just writing a single sonnet (just ask Jim Barrett, lol) and keeping it in iambic pentameter.
But this... this is an amazing epic undertaking.
Not only are your notes helpful and informative, this Sheath of Sonnets is something I can only aspire to.
My hat's off to you, mate.
This is simply brilliant.
~Dean
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 23-May-2018
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Thanks for your kind words and six stars, Dean.I suspect that your sonnets are rather better than you say they are! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from l.raven
Hi Tony, OMG my sweet friend...right when I think I have seen your best...WOW!!!...this is amazing...I am out of breath...exhausted...and elated...all at the same time...what an amazing story told...a mythical creature that resembles a seal in the water...and human on land...I have such a hard time with the sonnets Tony...I gave up...LOL...but you are the Master of Sonnets....brilliant you...I haven't got any sixes left Tony...I am so sorry...but it wouldn't matter...this is far more worth any six...this took time and patience...I loveeee your poem...and love the story told...and love your picture...well done you...Love Linda xxoo **********
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Hi Tony, OMG my sweet friend...right when I think I have seen your best...WOW!!!...this is amazing...I am out of breath...exhausted...and elated...all at the same time...what an amazing story told...a mythical creature that resembles a seal in the water...and human on land...I have such a hard time with the sonnets Tony...I gave up...LOL...but you are the Master of Sonnets....brilliant you...I haven't got any sixes left Tony...I am so sorry...but it wouldn't matter...this is far more worth any six...this took time and patience...I loveeee your poem...and love the story told...and love your picture...well done you...Love Linda xxoo **********
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your very kind words, Linda, and for the virtual six. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
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you are so welcome Tony...always my sweet friend...xxoo love
Comment from Swampfox1
There are many good parts in this poem. There are some I find confusing such as who is John Thomas? Was he the only John Thomas that ever lived, ever? I have no earthly idea . Your mention of the Garden of Gethsemane and compared youth to ridding the world of cares. "For we need youth to rid the world of cares,
like Jesus when he faced Gethsemane," well, Jesus did not rid the world of cares but just one care. It made it worse for some easier for others, as you somewhat said. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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There are many good parts in this poem. There are some I find confusing such as who is John Thomas? Was he the only John Thomas that ever lived, ever? I have no earthly idea . Your mention of the Garden of Gethsemane and compared youth to ridding the world of cares. "For we need youth to rid the world of cares,
like Jesus when he faced Gethsemane," well, Jesus did not rid the world of cares but just one care. It made it worse for some easier for others, as you somewhat said. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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Many thanks for your review, Swampfox, and for your comments.
John Thomas was intended to signify the ordinary man in the street. I've now amended that to John Doe, which is the generally accepted name given by the legal profession to anonymous or unknown persons.
You are right to question the passage about Gethsemane. I need to have another look, for it doesn't properly reflect what I meant to say. Thank you for alerting me to that. I got a bit tangled at times with the restrictions of the form's rhyme scheme and the requirement to tie the sequence together with an acrostic sonnet at the end, made up from the first lines of each sonnet. Sometimes amendments to certain lines had unintended consequences beyond the tearing out of hair!
I very much appreciate your input.
Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome. I always try my best to provide the best I can.
Comment from Janet Foor
Midnight Echos is an amazing accomplishment in a Wreath of Sicilian Sonnets. I just finished one sonnet and I feel I have accomplished so much. haha
Thank you also for your notes and the history of the Sicilian Sonnet.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Midnight Echos is an amazing accomplishment in a Wreath of Sicilian Sonnets. I just finished one sonnet and I feel I have accomplished so much. haha
Thank you also for your notes and the history of the Sicilian Sonnet.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your very kind words, Janet, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well you get the last six I have available Tony. This is quite a feat my friend. How long did you have to work on this I wonder? This is indeed a wonderful achievement. I loved the part about the Silkie. The fey of the sea. Well done and good luck. A wonderful entry. Nancy
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Well you get the last six I have available Tony. This is quite a feat my friend. How long did you have to work on this I wonder? This is indeed a wonderful achievement. I loved the part about the Silkie. The fey of the sea. Well done and good luck. A wonderful entry. Nancy
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 22-May-2018
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Very many thanks for your very kind words, Nancy, and for the six stars. Much appreciated! It took a week or two to get this one together, starting with the acrostic sonnet and then building the rest of the poem from it. It took a lot of fiddling, especially with the tight rhyming constraint of having to use the a- and b-rhymes of that final sonnet again and again in the first eight sonnets. Best wishes, Tony