empty beer bottles
For now we see through a glass, darkly.80 total reviews
Comment from Kerry Foley
Nicely done Tanka, Andre. I love this line, quite clever: amber rays of grain
climb the wall toward sunset" Good luck to you! ~Kerry
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Nicely done Tanka, Andre. I love this line, quite clever: amber rays of grain
climb the wall toward sunset" Good luck to you! ~Kerry
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Oh, yes, Kerry, many reviewers love those same lines, too. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck.
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from Pantygynt
This seems to have something to do with my tanka of today. If the glass is half full or half empty, either way someone has been at those bottles. Were they perhaps once the silver lining behind the clouds of thirst illuminated by the sunset.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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This seems to have something to do with my tanka of today. If the glass is half full or half empty, either way someone has been at those bottles. Were they perhaps once the silver lining behind the clouds of thirst illuminated by the sunset.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Oh, thank you, Jim, for your colorful, contemplative review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Joy Graham
I enjoyed this tanka poem, Sis Cat :) I can see the empty bottles in the bay window. In the full sun they would make some lovely reflections on the walls of the kitchen. I'm not up on all the rules about writing tanka, but what I do know seems fine to me. Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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I enjoyed this tanka poem, Sis Cat :) I can see the empty bottles in the bay window. In the full sun they would make some lovely reflections on the walls of the kitchen. I'm not up on all the rules about writing tanka, but what I do know seems fine to me. Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Joy, for your review and best wishes. Bottles I saw in a kitchen window two days ago sparked my poem. Now reviewers share with me their stories of decorating windows with empty bottles to catch the sun. Thanks.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo of empty beer bottles, many as well. The photo complements your poem very well. I hope it is not autobiographic-just pulling your leg. A perfect and original entry for the Tanka contest, best wishes for it.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Excellent photo of empty beer bottles, many as well. The photo complements your poem very well. I hope it is not autobiographic-just pulling your leg. A perfect and original entry for the Tanka contest, best wishes for it.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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No, Robina, this is not autobiographical, as I do not drink. On Saturday I took a walk with pen and pad in hand when I spied empty beer bottles in a kitchen window. They captivated my imagination. Over the next two hours I composed my poem, and then found on FanArtReview a photo that approximated what I saw. Thank you for your review
Comment from Dan Diego
I must admit, your title drew me to review this. But your words kept me around. I like the imagery of shadows climbing and fading. I also think you played on the words "amber rays of grain" - there are "amber waves of grain" in the US anthem. Great job with the images. Short and sweet poem. Don't know much about tankas but I do know when I like a poem. I like yours.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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I must admit, your title drew me to review this. But your words kept me around. I like the imagery of shadows climbing and fading. I also think you played on the words "amber rays of grain" - there are "amber waves of grain" in the US anthem. Great job with the images. Short and sweet poem. Don't know much about tankas but I do know when I like a poem. I like yours.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Yes, yes, yes, Dan, many fine reviewers such as you told me that although they do not know much about tankas, they do know poems they like. I am gladdened that my poem reaches people beyond the tanka enthusiasts. Thank you for your detailed review.
Comment from Gulbahar Sidhu
Hi there
You deserve to be complimented for a lovely poem. You have created beautiful poetry out of a simple scene. This makes it all the more praise worthy.
Congratulations and all the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Hi there
You deserve to be complimented for a lovely poem. You have created beautiful poetry out of a simple scene. This makes it all the more praise worthy.
Congratulations and all the best for the contest.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Oh, thank you, Gulbahar, for your complimentary review. Armed with pen and paper in hand, I took a walk yesterday when I spotted empty beer bottles in a kitchen window. It is such a simple scene easy to overlook. By the time I returned from my walk, I had completed this poem. Thanks also for wishing me the best in the contest.
Comment from lyenochka
In such few lines, you created a vivid picture as well as a feeling. I like the echoes of the patriotic song in "amber rays of grain." ("for amber waves of grain") As the sun sets and the light causes the bottles to "glint" (great verb!) And then with night we get a feeling the more bottles will become empty.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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In such few lines, you created a vivid picture as well as a feeling. I like the echoes of the patriotic song in "amber rays of grain." ("for amber waves of grain") As the sun sets and the light causes the bottles to "glint" (great verb!) And then with night we get a feeling the more bottles will become empty.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Yes, lyenochka, with more drinking at night, more bottles will crowd the windowsill come morning. I composed this poem over the course of a two hour walk after I saw bottles in a window. "Amber rays of grain" and "glint" fit perfectly. Thank you for your generous, six star review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is a nice Tanka poem with a good visual thought about reality and fantasy projection of things; good luck with the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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This is a nice Tanka poem with a good visual thought about reality and fantasy projection of things; good luck with the contest. Keep writing. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Thank you, Dr Alcreator, for your generous review of my tanka and for wishing me good luck in the contest. I appreciate it.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Wow, you got me with one of my favorite thing, good beer! LOL. Plus, I instantly loved this, but instinctively thought of the Traffic song, "John Barleycorn Must Die" by Steve Winwood/ Traffic. That song was inspired from an old English song or poem, I believe. This struck gold on every level for me. Great work. Bruce.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Wow, you got me with one of my favorite thing, good beer! LOL. Plus, I instantly loved this, but instinctively thought of the Traffic song, "John Barleycorn Must Die" by Steve Winwood/ Traffic. That song was inspired from an old English song or poem, I believe. This struck gold on every level for me. Great work. Bruce.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
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Bruce, I love the autobiography "John Barleycorn" by Jack London who coined the phrase "seeing pink elephants." When I saw empty beer bottles in a kitchen window two days ago, I saw something else--an idea for a poem. Thank you for your generous six star review of my tanka which struck amber and gold with you.
Comment from mvbrooks
I enjoy how your words dance and, in this poem. the phrasing of "amber rays of grain" so reminiscent of "amber waves of grain" from America, the Beautiful. The words are playful and set a sense of longing.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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I enjoy how your words dance and, in this poem. the phrasing of "amber rays of grain" so reminiscent of "amber waves of grain" from America, the Beautiful. The words are playful and set a sense of longing.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2018
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
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Oh, thank you, mvbrooks, for your review. At the beginning of a two hour, four-and-a-half mile walk yesterday, I saw empty beer bottles in a kitchen window, I sketched them and began to write my poem which I finished by the time night fell on those and I returned home. The "amber rays of grain" is perfect and playful. Thanks again.