Comment from mountainwriter49

Excellent

Good Afternoon, Bev

I enjoyed this chapter. It continues to develop the plot as well as the characters. The dialogue between characters is strong and feels natural. Your words are very descriptive and allow the reader to 'see' so much of what's in the room without ever having to fully describe it. I like how your writing allows the reader to use his/her imagination.

May I offer one small suggestion for you to consider?

indicate the sex [gender] of the room's prior occupant

I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Ray

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Hi, Ray. Thanks for the great review and excellent suggestion! So much better than the way I wrote it.

I really appreciate your generosity and support!

Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran

Excellent

A GOOD WRITE AND WELL WRITTEN Thanks for sharing with me. I enjoyed reading and look forward to the next chapter. I found noreason to suggest change. Mary

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Hi, Mary. Nice to see you! Thanks for the great review and vote of confidence. Hugs, Bev

Comment from Daedalia

Excellent

This is a very good chapter. Your characters are very well developed and, even coming in as late as I did, you gave enough info in the background and the author's notes that I was able to follow easily. My only observation (and it's a purely personal opinion) is that I stumbled when I got to the name Dresden Stredwick. It interrupted the flow for me; but that may be simply because I hadn't gotten used to it over the course of several chapters. That said, even this late in your novel, you're doing an excellent job of describing the dynamics between the different characters. I like the branches you've created with the plot; you've imbued your story with the perfect amount of intrigue. I enjoyed this very much and I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next!

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Hello, Daedalia. I really appeciate this very generous and encouraging review. Thank you for taking time read my chapter, and offer your great insights. The name issue I can understand. In previous chapters I've use his nickname, Dred. Easier on the eye, but felt it would be confusing to new readers of this novel.
I appreciate your thoughts on this, though. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from JW

Excellent

Hmm. I am starting to think that I may have to quit looking for any spags when I review your work. ... There isn't any.

As usual, the chapter is well written and does a good job of progressing the storyline. JW

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Thanks much for this utterly charming review, Jonathon. :0) Bev

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

Yes this chapter kind-a-got to me. I'm glad I'm finish with it.
don't get me wrong it was very interesting to read it moved nicely. there was never a dull moment.
thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Thanks so much for taking time to read my chapter, Miss Cookie. Always good to hear from you! :0) Bev

reply by misscookie on 24-Jan-2014

You're very welcome, it is my pleasure.
Until next time.

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

The story is speeding up fast now. I like that. He still has t tell poor Jana, and he has not told us yet who the body in the freezer is.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Thank you so much, Ine. I appreciate the great review.

Comment from Rondeno

Excellent

Are they issuing small-town homicide detectives with Glocks now? Sheesh!

One point alone demonstrates your excellence, Bevvers. An ordinary author would have written a straightforward, boring, scene of crime narrative. You bring this one to life with that little bit of needling conflict.

And that's the difference.

Love,

Mike xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Hi, Mike. Bob (Mastery) set me straight on the weapon. Apparently, 9 mm. Glocks are standard issue. Scary thought to me, too.

Loved your review, my friend. Thanks for the encouragement and support.

XXXOOO Bev

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Exceptional

Hi Writingfundimension,

Now you're pulling on the tension. I can well imagine what Jana will feel once she sees the photos. And you're keeping your readers guessing as to whose body is in the freezer, though I'd guess it is Mrs Pearce, it could as easily be someone else. I liked the tension between the Sheriff and the prat from the FBI.

Well done, well earned six.

Patrick

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Thank you much, Patrick. I worried a bit about the confrontation and whether it would sound right, so you've assured me on that front. People think that cops use the F-bomb with every other word, well the cops I see are professional and, mostly, respectful of each other.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, writingfundimension, you did an excellent job witing this chapter where the discovery of the pictures upsets the sheriff and derek as well.....

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Thanks so much, Sweet. I appreciate the support. Bev

Comment from CR Delport

Excellent

Derek is a true professional that can really focus his mind to the task at hand. This is another very well written chapter that makes for a great read. I saw no obvious errors.

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 24-Jan-2014

Thank you very much, CR. I sure appreciate your support and generosity. Regards, Bev