Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Chapter 19 A"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

27 total reviews 
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was an interesting chapter with some excitemnet with both the dog and Noah pacing the floor. It seems the arrest of the illigal aliens went by without much ado. I wondered why they weren't questioned. If they were Spanish that shouldn't be a problem as someone in the team speaks Spanish. I wondered where the one was shot and how badly hurt he was and how difficult it was to arrest them.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    The authorities will take care of the questioning. Noah needs to stay out of it because of his situation. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is feels like a well written chapter. Yes, trimming things, I think, was a good idea. At times, it does seem like the story wanders from the plot a bit. Life and character interactions are important, but not at the cost of the plot.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It seems that trouble is ever near this group. That makes this read even more exciting. No one wants to read a story that is predictable. This story is far from that. You have kept me entertained and in suspense all along, and I like that.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    Thank you for the support and encouragement.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Upon the last words of this chapter, I sucked in my breath and uttered "no!" to Galvin's request to leave the door cracked. He, as head of the department, should know that is a big no-no. I like also, that Sami gave Noah a dressing down about ordering her to bed. Glad she straightened that out. I don't know how much more you have to this story, but I don't want it to end. Gretchen

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    Thank you for the kind review and encouragement.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your story moves along just fine here, and Jasper plays a fine central role. However, your sentences are generally very staccato in this chapter (e.g. Why we meeting > Why're we meeting) giving rather stilted dialogue. kay

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    I will check that out. Thank you for bringing to my attention.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That cracked door, while Galvin is outside, could mean trouble... especially since we know they are out there. Three cheers for Jasper, sensing there was trouble and taking a man down. Great chapter, Barbara. Have fund with the family!
Smiles, Carol

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really liked the dialogue in this scene Barbara, which is something you always do a brilliant job of. I thought the chapter was really engaging and I like how the tension is beginning to creep up a notch. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 01-Sep-2024
    Thank you for the support. I appreciate it.