Reviews from

Broken Crayons

a short story

28 total reviews 
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a beautiful story. Yes, broken crayons can create fine art, just as broken people have value. You have a wonderful message here that needs to be told and read by all.

We were in charge of our world, so sure of it a. (not sure why the 'a' is here)

Yet, the next day, I'm in therapy again, and find myself (the following day)

couldn't think of a comeback, so I stupidly said, "And I want to run track." (wanted???)

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    Thank you so much! I'll kick the typos out of there!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is so poignant and yet so heart-warming by the end.That stream of consciousness about Celeste's disability is superbly done in its honesty and realism. Structured to perfection when you realised how she deserved to be looked upon for her inner soul, not her outer imperfection.
I think this might need editing:...and drew the form of Jen in back of her..
An excellent, thoroughly engaging story, Jim. Take care Debbie

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    Thank you very much!!
Comment from patcelaw
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is an exceptional story and I enjoyed very much listening to it. It is moving and it is very hard tugging. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. I also wish you a very wonderful week. May God bless you and keep you safe. Patricia.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    I am very grateful for your words.
Comment from Michele Harber
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is such a beautiful and poignant story, Jim. Your last line actually had me in tears, recognizing that "broken crayons" referred to more than just Crayolas.

You actually had me from your first line. Our frequent correspondence let me recognize just how many of the cursing home references were autobiographical, but you did a beautiful job of blending them together with the fictional scenario.

This may be my favorite of all the works of yours that I've read.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
    Thank you so much! I feel very humbled.
reply by Michele Harber on 15-Aug-2024
    It was an excellent story.
Comment from Begin Again
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Beautiful lesson written with heart and emotion. We do tend to look at things through a set of eyes that have lost their glow and then suddenly, life has a way of beginning again - different yet just as special if we give things a chance.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024

Comment from GoWiSt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"We were in charge of our world, so sure of it a." Is that a typo at the end there?
"I became a human excrement machine." Oh, what sour imagery, but a sad plight to be in.
Yes, a one-leged beautiful woman is still better than none.



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 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    I am so grateful for your kind words.
Comment from Sally Law
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Virtual ******six for this heart tugging story. I don't think we realize that every human is broken in some way whether visible or not. It's our spirits that rise up to know one another. Beautifully written, my friend.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal :))

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 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    I appreciate your words and wishes. Thank you!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A very moving piece. Very credible. I'm glad neither of you completed your rehab before fully engaging one another.
We were in charge of our world, so sure of it a. - ???????????
We hopped on our bikes, for a - Don't think you need this comma
MRSA and C-diff are commonly picked up in hospitals.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2024


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2024
    I got rid of that trespassing a! Thank you very much!