Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Missteps (Rachelle)"Two very real women in not so real situation.
30 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I couldn't help but laugh at the scene. I hope you intended that. My mother lives within an Amish community and drivers speeding down the road is a true problem, even though there are numerous sign warning the drivers. Great write.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I couldn't help but laugh at the scene. I hope you intended that. My mother lives within an Amish community and drivers speeding down the road is a true problem, even though there are numerous sign warning the drivers. Great write.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Oh, yes; it was DEFINITELY intended to be funny.
Thanks for the validating review!! Xo
Comment from judiverse
Glad to see you increased the font size. It really adds to the story that you use some Pennsylvania Dutch and the term "Englishers." The Amish in Parke County use it when speaking to one another. Great use of figurative language with its exaggeration for effect like the battle of the drums in the Battle of the Bands. Oh, the poor fashionable narrator! Ending up in the mud and having her hat eaten by the horse, and then the goats making off with her clothes after tearing into her hemp tote. This is such great fun. The trip to the FS Convention isn't off to a great start. judi
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Glad to see you increased the font size. It really adds to the story that you use some Pennsylvania Dutch and the term "Englishers." The Amish in Parke County use it when speaking to one another. Great use of figurative language with its exaggeration for effect like the battle of the drums in the Battle of the Bands. Oh, the poor fashionable narrator! Ending up in the mud and having her hat eaten by the horse, and then the goats making off with her clothes after tearing into her hemp tote. This is such great fun. The trip to the FS Convention isn't off to a great start. judi
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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You're right; it can only get better...well, you know, hopefully!!
Comment from Ulla
Rachelle, this is just too funny and so very sad at the very same time. Yes, this described the Amish so very well. I loved the scene when she fell and the horse thought he had a free lunch. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Rachelle, this is just too funny and so very sad at the very same time. Yes, this described the Amish so very well. I loved the scene when she fell and the horse thought he had a free lunch. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I had the best time writing that part! Thanks for saying you enjoyed it! Xo
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Rachelle,
What I appreciate the most about your narrative is how you are able to balance humor with pathos.
I believe I mentioned earlier in your first posting that I have visited Amish Country in Pennsylvania on two occasions.
Your posting brings back so many memories, and you are very adept at offering to your readers not only the language spoken by the Amish, but also sharing with readers how very private they are when discussing their private lives.
Your posting displays creativity and definitely held my attention.
And poor Gretchen... On to read her version!
Thank you for sharing!
Fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Hello, Rachelle,
What I appreciate the most about your narrative is how you are able to balance humor with pathos.
I believe I mentioned earlier in your first posting that I have visited Amish Country in Pennsylvania on two occasions.
Your posting brings back so many memories, and you are very adept at offering to your readers not only the language spoken by the Amish, but also sharing with readers how very private they are when discussing their private lives.
Your posting displays creativity and definitely held my attention.
And poor Gretchen... On to read her version!
Thank you for sharing!
Fondly,
diane
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Thank you for this lovely and insightful review. I am pretty familiar with Amish ways, so I do appreciate your affirmation about them.
Yes, Gretchen's definitely not doing well in her buggy!
Xoxo
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoy this hilarious adventure with too highly different personality typesss. Both of your are excellent writers and the way this story is going makes it funny. However, you going to have to adopt the Amish orphants shice you look so much like the mother.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I'm enjoy this hilarious adventure with too highly different personality typesss. Both of your are excellent writers and the way this story is going makes it funny. However, you going to have to adopt the Amish orphants shice you look so much like the mother.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Oh, absolutely! Can't you just see them living in the city with a Jewess? Talk about a SEQUEL!! lol
Thanks for the nice review, Beth. xo
Comment from Steve Foreman
I guess that there is not much to say about your writing that has not been already said - but to add my pennyworth, it is wonderful, refreshing, funny (even in the serious bits) and with a great use of unique metaphors, I love it.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I guess that there is not much to say about your writing that has not been already said - but to add my pennyworth, it is wonderful, refreshing, funny (even in the serious bits) and with a great use of unique metaphors, I love it.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Thank you very much for this affirming review! Very much appreciated! xo
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You are welcome!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I am intrigue how you and GW collaborate as one to create such fun. I would love to see this chapter in a video. (a hint). Now on to next scene. Well done.
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I am intrigue how you and GW collaborate as one to create such fun. I would love to see this chapter in a video. (a hint). Now on to next scene. Well done.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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We are very vague to each other as to our version of what's happening next. That keeps US intrigued in the other's story, too!
Comment from GoWiSt
A city dame with simple Amish kids--what could possibly go wrong?
Was that some sort of old Germanic language those kids were speaking among themselves? And of all luck, you had to go and look like their recently deceased mother. Way to go. Gretchen may be unto something. These simple kids are very susceptible to influence by sophisticated city chicks.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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A city dame with simple Amish kids--what could possibly go wrong?
Was that some sort of old Germanic language those kids were speaking among themselves? And of all luck, you had to go and look like their recently deceased mother. Way to go. Gretchen may be unto something. These simple kids are very susceptible to influence by sophisticated city chicks.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Yes, especially when she looks like their mother!! Mayhem is brewing, I'm betting!!
The language is Pennsylvania Deutsch. It's what's spoken by the Amish.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Both yours and Gretchen's pov earned six stars for this segment. Excellent writing. You mirror one another with skills.
I would say that your mud-flop fairly lightened the tone of the conversation, thoughts of dead maam forgotten.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Both yours and Gretchen's pov earned six stars for this segment. Excellent writing. You mirror one another with skills.
I would say that your mud-flop fairly lightened the tone of the conversation, thoughts of dead maam forgotten.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Yes, exactly. I didn't want to end with anything so heavy, and I think the kids also needed some comic relief.
Thank you for this very nice review. xoxo
Comment from GWHARGIS
I'm giving you this six, not only, because of the dramatic part about Rebekah, Solomon and Simeon's parents, but for the description of my wet hair as eels trying to get back to the creek. Lmao! Gretchen
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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I'm giving you this six, not only, because of the dramatic part about Rebekah, Solomon and Simeon's parents, but for the description of my wet hair as eels trying to get back to the creek. Lmao! Gretchen
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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HAHAHAHAHA!!! I thought you'd like that.
I figure if I can go SCHLOOOOP into a mud puddle, you can freakin have soppy strands of hair all over your face and forehead!
Thank you for being such a good sport!
xoxoxo
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Lol.