Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Willing Hearts Chapter 7 A"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

35 total reviews 
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very good chapter as Noah and Sami get to know each other better and Sami supplies some info about Chen. The group of guards seem to work well together and are interesting people.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent chapter, and it sounds like Noah and Sami are starting to relate much better. She is realising more now what she has got herself into. Looking forward to more.
Wendy

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from patcelaw
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is if Heather very well written, chapter for your book and it was a pleasure listening to it. I wish you the very best with all of your writing. You are a very good writer. Your sentence structured in your paragraph it is wonderful I wish you the very best for the coming week. Patricia.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another excellent chapter with some softening of the tension between Noah and Sami and progress on Chen's background. Small edit: who knows how many girls would've (he?) been kidnapped (an errant 'he'). Nicely done, Barbara. Thanks for sharing. Debbie

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. The extra 'he' is gone. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This, as usual, was a great read. You did well and I could not find any spags, today. Looking forward to your next post which will show up Tuesday, my time. God Bless.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Daylily
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The story continues to roll along well. I especially like Jasper...Sami could be a professional dog trainer.

Hope the weather is beautiful and that you and your family have a lovely Easter!

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. I grew up with a Great Dane. Wonderful dogs, but LARGE!!!
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was glad to see that everybody voted against Sami getting access to the security system on the door. I noticed Noah didn't vote. Probably a good move on his part.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    I think Noah is wise but struggling figuring out what to do about or with Sami.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, I'm enjoying reading this story. The dialogue is great and carries the story line along. I will be looking out for the next chapter Sunday or Monday. A hug, Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I will read every Sunday! This is very well written and I like the dualigue you are establishing. You were about to give readers a lit of information through dialogue, and your well described I m agery and character intentions. The interactions seem authentic. I had small notes. Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading and look forward to reading weekly.

Keep up the great we work!

Alexan :)


Just one note noun-verb agreement, for compression, meaning.

This line:

"I heard noises." Thenoise sounded again. "Hear it?"

I think since noises is plural, it might be better to write "Here's that?"

Or clarify somehow.

And, just an idea here:

Chases frogs and likes to play with the fish?

(I can't imagine a dog chasing fish).

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    My dachshund chases fish and my Labrador did too, when she was alive. I changed the it to a that. I appreciate the catch. Thank you for that and the kind review.
reply by Alexandra Trovato on 24-Mar-2024
    Aww. My Yorkie was diabetic and becane blind so she didn't get to run around too much in nature but yours sound cute and had fun.

    I'm trying to read more carefully as you've helped me greatly but I don't know everything ha :)
Comment from jim vecchio
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I noticed no typos, but I'm far from an expert. Love the way this story is progressing. The only suggestion I could make, and it's purely sn arbitrary one, is that I probably would have developed a bit more suspense about the raccoons. Assuming they were raccoons.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 24-Mar-2024
    Jose saw them when he came into the house. His job is surveillance. Thank you for the kind review and support.
reply by jim vecchio on 25-Mar-2024
    I'm glad no raccoons were hurt in this tale.