Jonathan's Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "The Accident"Our fostering journey with a severely disabled boy
26 total reviews
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
My heart breaks for all your foster son had to endure, and by extension you and your family. I hope there was finally some judgment made that showed their horrendous treatment.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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My heart breaks for all your foster son had to endure, and by extension you and your family. I hope there was finally some judgment made that showed their horrendous treatment.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you very much, Verna. The cover-up was complete, and right to the top levels. For a few years at least. I apprecite yourvery kind and supportive review.
Wendy
Comment from karenina
OH, dear God, Wendy. You must have been beside yourself! The amount of "cover-up" and "deniability" runs rampant in homes for the disabled or those with dementia.
It's one of the reasons I devoted my Nursing career chiefly to treating those who could not speak up for themselves.
You would not believe the "in-service" training staff gets from LAWYERS.
Not to ensure proper, or even competent care -- just to protect the facilities from legal liability.
We were never allowed to report a resident as "Falling" or "Having Fallen" --
Nope.
"Resident found on floor" was the legal loophole." Could have been a slip, could have been the resident trying to get out of bed. We were not ALLOWED to say they FELL.
Likewise... Words like "Incident" rather than "accident" and "Resident denies pain" rather than "Resident was assessed for injury." There are SO many ways lawyers work with government and private "homes" to callously cover their behinds.
EVERY resident who was "found" on the floor on my shift got transferred to the hospital for evaluation. PERIOD. Lawyers could get creative with their phrasing all they wanted by a person such as Jonathan who was unable to describe what happened or how he felt would be sure to be assessed at an ER with appropriate x-rays and scans.
I'm sick that this happened. Poor Jonathan! Who is to say some stressed-out caregiver didn't shove him to the floor? I used to privately encourage family members to contact an attorney. Sometimes (often) the only thing that will exactly change is a huge payout due to malpractice, which (no matter how this happened) --this was!
The more frustrating thing is I've heard family members tell me they would LOVE to get the answers to such maltreatment...but sadly, they were fearful their injured family member would be transferred out of the facility, or staff would take less and less care of him...
The time elapsed, the teeth marks embedded in the furniture, and the incomprehensible "supposed explanation" were unforgivable.
Many a time the Administrator of a facility I was in charge of would tell me not to record the "incident" in nursing notes... or to "minimalize" the situation when contacting the family.
(I've been ordered NOT to tell the family~ Spoiler alert, I never listened to that "blackmail.")
And no anesthesia? Because "These people don't' feel pain..."
I'm spitting nails right now.
God bless our most helpless.
There are selfless angels, such as yourself.
There are warm, competent, caring caregivers...
But there are incompetent "helpers" with an administration who is more than willing to "turn the other way" if it'll save them a headache or a penny.
Broken Jaw.
I suppose "x-ray by phone" isn't what it's cracked up to be!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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OH, dear God, Wendy. You must have been beside yourself! The amount of "cover-up" and "deniability" runs rampant in homes for the disabled or those with dementia.
It's one of the reasons I devoted my Nursing career chiefly to treating those who could not speak up for themselves.
You would not believe the "in-service" training staff gets from LAWYERS.
Not to ensure proper, or even competent care -- just to protect the facilities from legal liability.
We were never allowed to report a resident as "Falling" or "Having Fallen" --
Nope.
"Resident found on floor" was the legal loophole." Could have been a slip, could have been the resident trying to get out of bed. We were not ALLOWED to say they FELL.
Likewise... Words like "Incident" rather than "accident" and "Resident denies pain" rather than "Resident was assessed for injury." There are SO many ways lawyers work with government and private "homes" to callously cover their behinds.
EVERY resident who was "found" on the floor on my shift got transferred to the hospital for evaluation. PERIOD. Lawyers could get creative with their phrasing all they wanted by a person such as Jonathan who was unable to describe what happened or how he felt would be sure to be assessed at an ER with appropriate x-rays and scans.
I'm sick that this happened. Poor Jonathan! Who is to say some stressed-out caregiver didn't shove him to the floor? I used to privately encourage family members to contact an attorney. Sometimes (often) the only thing that will exactly change is a huge payout due to malpractice, which (no matter how this happened) --this was!
The more frustrating thing is I've heard family members tell me they would LOVE to get the answers to such maltreatment...but sadly, they were fearful their injured family member would be transferred out of the facility, or staff would take less and less care of him...
The time elapsed, the teeth marks embedded in the furniture, and the incomprehensible "supposed explanation" were unforgivable.
Many a time the Administrator of a facility I was in charge of would tell me not to record the "incident" in nursing notes... or to "minimalize" the situation when contacting the family.
(I've been ordered NOT to tell the family~ Spoiler alert, I never listened to that "blackmail.")
And no anesthesia? Because "These people don't' feel pain..."
I'm spitting nails right now.
God bless our most helpless.
There are selfless angels, such as yourself.
There are warm, competent, caring caregivers...
But there are incompetent "helpers" with an administration who is more than willing to "turn the other way" if it'll save them a headache or a penny.
Broken Jaw.
I suppose "x-ray by phone" isn't what it's cracked up to be!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you SO much Karenina. I am so glad you stood your ground and got medical assessments for the ones you were responsible for. You hit the nail on the head with your thoughts about lawyers. We didn't take them to court because what would happen to all the clients if they were bankrupted? That's assuming we won, and they didn't squirm their way out of responsibility with "legal speak". And money wouldn't get his teeth back. I hoped they would feel "on notice" and be extra careful. And the other thing is they too would have powerful llawyers and I had never had anything more to deal with than a speeding ticket, so I would have been a babe in the woods in a courtroom. It was a shocking and very hard experience, and I am still sad every time I see him and remember the hard things he has been through ... and it's not over yet! Unfortunately.
Your support means the world to me. I appreciate you, especially since you have the medical experience in caring for vulnerable people.
Wendy
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I wish I could have cared for Jonathan...
Comment from Begin Again
Oh, poor Jonathan! I can't imagine how distraught he was with no way to communicate to anyone about his pain and suffering. I, too, want to stare these people down and force them to face their responsibilities. This chapter is heartbreaking.
Hugs to you and Jonathan.
Carol
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Oh, poor Jonathan! I can't imagine how distraught he was with no way to communicate to anyone about his pain and suffering. I, too, want to stare these people down and force them to face their responsibilities. This chapter is heartbreaking.
Hugs to you and Jonathan.
Carol
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you Carol for your understanding and for your very kind words. It was neglect then cover-up, all the way to the top. I appreciate your kindness and support. It's hard to write all this - and I know you understand.
Wendy
Comment from patcelaw
I am so sorry that this happened to Jonathan. He didn't deserve this kind of thing. I wish you very great comfort from God as you deal with this whole story I know it must be hard for you to recount the story. Have a blessed day, and a good week. Pat.
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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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I am so sorry that this happened to Jonathan. He didn't deserve this kind of thing. I wish you very great comfort from God as you deal with this whole story I know it must be hard for you to recount the story. Have a blessed day, and a good week. Pat.
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Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Thank you Patricia. Some parts, especially this one, have been very hard to write, and reliving it is just awful, and keeps me awake during the night.
I so appreciate your very encouraging words.
Wendy
Comment from Pearl Edwards
In this whole terrible saga of not caring enough, not doing what they are being paid to do what stands out for me is "these people don't feel pain". This is a terrible indictment on some of the people dealing with the vulnerable.
Well done for getting through these memories,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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In this whole terrible saga of not caring enough, not doing what they are being paid to do what stands out for me is "these people don't feel pain". This is a terrible indictment on some of the people dealing with the vulnerable.
Well done for getting through these memories,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Yes, you are exactly right. Some parts of his story are indeed difficult to relive through the writing. Many thanks for your very kind and understanding review.
Wendy
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And thank you so much for the six stars. I greatly appreciate them as it helps me keep writing about his life. They mean a lot to me.
Wendy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am angry over this. I'm sure you were much nicer than I would've been. These people are horribly wrong and in no way should be in the business they are in. This is criminal what they allowed to happen.
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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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I am angry over this. I'm sure you were much nicer than I would've been. These people are horribly wrong and in no way should be in the business they are in. This is criminal what they allowed to happen.
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Comment Written 04-Mar-2024
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2024
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Yes, it was neglect and then cover-up right through to the top. We could have brought them to financial ruin, but then what would happen to all the clients? I hoped they would try to do better, to keep on our good side so we wouldn't launch action. Thanks so much for reviewing; I do greatly appreciate your time and your thoughts.
Wendy