Route 66: Fetal Memories
Birthed Memories43 total reviews
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a well told childhood story and I enjoy reading it very much. The voice is great. I think it's more like a voice of an adult telling the childhood memories. I like that it was a heart warming story that had no violence in the end. But since you said that your dad had a gun in the beginning, I was always afraid that he might use it in the end. For non-fiction, it's Ok. For movie scripts, you have to use the foreshadowing later in the script.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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What a well told childhood story and I enjoy reading it very much. The voice is great. I think it's more like a voice of an adult telling the childhood memories. I like that it was a heart warming story that had no violence in the end. But since you said that your dad had a gun in the beginning, I was always afraid that he might use it in the end. For non-fiction, it's Ok. For movie scripts, you have to use the foreshadowing later in the script.
Excellent.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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I see what you mean about the gun being used in the end for fiction. That's true. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Lisa.
Comment from damommy
What a delightful story. I hope you will share more with us. I love it that you told the waitress. What was her reaction? I know what you mother and daddy's were. hahahahaha
- his presence [wrapped] us
- Route 66[] stretches
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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What a delightful story. I hope you will share more with us. I love it that you told the waitress. What was her reaction? I know what you mother and daddy's were. hahahahaha
- his presence [wrapped] us
- Route 66[] stretches
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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So glad you enjoyed my story, Yvonne. And thank you for the catch on "wrapt". One source told me that the origin of wrapt was as a misspelling of rapt. I liked that fine. But I also commented to another that if too many more mentioned it, then it was being a distraction that I should consider changing. I believe yours made the case for me. Thanks.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I felt as though I was looking at Norman Rockwell's artwork reflecting the culture of the late 1940s. Detailed descriptions of your environments, along with your observations and thoughts as a ten-year-old boy, painted a complete word picture that seized the imagination and placed the reader on Route 66, in a Desoto, and ultimately seated in front of a T-bone steak. This story is nostalgic and delightful.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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I felt as though I was looking at Norman Rockwell's artwork reflecting the culture of the late 1940s. Detailed descriptions of your environments, along with your observations and thoughts as a ten-year-old boy, painted a complete word picture that seized the imagination and placed the reader on Route 66, in a Desoto, and ultimately seated in front of a T-bone steak. This story is nostalgic and delightful.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Oh, Lorraine, you've made my day. Truly. If it were a novel I'd want your words on my flyleaf. Bless you for your words and the six stars!
Jay
Comment from Ric Myworld
I do believe that this story would be one of those unforgettable moments in a child's life. And an adventure that the family could talk about for many years to come. Who knows, Junie might even tell about it in a story someday. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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I do believe that this story would be one of those unforgettable moments in a child's life. And an adventure that the family could talk about for many years to come. Who knows, Junie might even tell about it in a story someday. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Yeah, Junie was a character all right. Mom told me late in her life that it had nearly broken her heart when I changed it from Junie to Jay in high school. But when one's English teacher announces to the entire class, at roll call, that she had expected a girl to raise her hand to the name Junie instead of me ... that Junie was a girl's name, the deal was clinched. No one messes with a 13-year-old's masculinity!
Jay
Comment from Tpa
A very entertaining story through the eyes of a ten-year-old boy. I enjoyed the beginning and the manner of starting your adventure. It little ha-ha made him feel like Johnny Carson, and how he though it was the joke of the century. GOOD LUCK.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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A very entertaining story through the eyes of a ten-year-old boy. I enjoyed the beginning and the manner of starting your adventure. It little ha-ha made him feel like Johnny Carson, and how he though it was the joke of the century. GOOD LUCK.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Thank you, TPA. So happy you enjoyed it. That the beginning of it drew you in made all the difference in the world.
Jay
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this story with us. I enjoyed reading. I am almost two years older than my brother, and when we took summer vacations with my parents, they were always long car rides. Dan and I got into some interesting scrabbles. LOL
I idolized my Dad. (lower case 'd' on 'dad' because of 'my')
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Thank you for sharing this story with us. I enjoyed reading. I am almost two years older than my brother, and when we took summer vacations with my parents, they were always long car rides. Dan and I got into some interesting scrabbles. LOL
I idolized my Dad. (lower case 'd' on 'dad' because of 'my')
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Barbara. From reading my reviews, my story seems to have revived many family memories locked away in the readers' minds. Ah-ha! So you were to Dan what Donna was to me! Poor Danny! LOL,
Jay
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LOL
Comment from GWHARGIS
It's amazing how though I've never been on rt 66. I just enjoyed a day of old fashioned backseat vacation. I really enjoyed this fun nostalgic trip. I loved the ending. Funny how parents will laugh in private at something that is wrong, then cringe when others see it. This was a very good story. Gretchen
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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It's amazing how though I've never been on rt 66. I just enjoyed a day of old fashioned backseat vacation. I really enjoyed this fun nostalgic trip. I loved the ending. Funny how parents will laugh in private at something that is wrong, then cringe when others see it. This was a very good story. Gretchen
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Great! The nostalgic element was just what I was grappling with -- trying to get it just right. I'm so pleased you felt it. I'm sorry it had to come at the expense of hurting some people with the use of Picaninny. It wasn't intentional, and it was part of the fabric of the story. Thank you for coming along for the ride, Gretchen, and for the lovely six stars!
Jay
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Honestly, I'm not for bleaching out the realness of nostalgia. I grew up hearing stuff worse than that. It doesn't make me a terrible person, just a product of my environment. It was a believable moment. Well done, Mr. Squires.
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Mr. Squires?! Whoa! "Bleaching out". I like that. You ought to read Nom-138's review.
Jay
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Gonna do it right now
Comment from nomi338
Being a dark skinned person of color, if that statement were to come out of my mouth, it would hardly have the same effect. Still I can see the humor for you and your family, poor sis either did not get it or just resented the humor it caused your folks to enjoy. I do not take offense as some people of color might. Those people just need to lighten up. As a matter of fact, the term is often used by POC in conversations with each other quite often.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Being a dark skinned person of color, if that statement were to come out of my mouth, it would hardly have the same effect. Still I can see the humor for you and your family, poor sis either did not get it or just resented the humor it caused your folks to enjoy. I do not take offense as some people of color might. Those people just need to lighten up. As a matter of fact, the term is often used by POC in conversations with each other quite often.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Nolan, thank you so much for validating my use of the word. I cringed at the use of it, myself -- my grownup self -- but it came so naturally to a 10-year-old ... and unfortunately, to my Mom and Dad. Of course, the 40s were rife with racial discrimination. I had to laugh, though, when you told me how some people of color who might be offended by it "just need to lighten up." I hope you said that intentionally, because the irony was priceless! Anyway, thank you so much for reading this and accepting it for what it was ... just an extraction from the nostalgia of my childhood.
Bless you, my friend,
Jay
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Thank you for pointing out something that I did not intentionally put in. In retrospect, it was funny. I am old enough and wise enough to recognize prejudice. If you look for insults in the written word you will find them all day long, whether they were written on purpose or by accident. Ask yourself, does the writer know you? Is what he wrote on purpose to hurt you? Of course not, he is a writer with the freedom to write whatever he feels or thinks. Take what he wrote at face value, or choose not to read him at all. In the end who really cares? Be entertained or just choose not to read at all. Even the Bible can be said to be somewhat prejudiced, Do you think people enjoy reading 1 Corinthians chapter 6, verses 9 & 10. Everybody who enjoys sex outside of marriage is condemned.
Comment from Cogitator
Always amazed by your descriptions. Since you took the Number one position, I want you to know you justified it. I'm still caught up in defining existence, as you probably figured out. Great story and verbiage...John
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Always amazed by your descriptions. Since you took the Number one position, I want you to know you justified it. I'm still caught up in defining existence, as you probably figured out. Great story and verbiage...John
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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So kind of you to offer that compliment, John. You don't wander often in the area of nostalgia or memoir, so it was a joy to me that you chose one of my pieces to read. And then to give it six stars! I'm a little out of breath, Sir. Thank you.
Jay
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Kindred spirit
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Ah, to be ten again! I loved this story with its lighthearted feel of the way it felt to be ten years old and say whatever comes to you without thinking of the consequences. This is a great tale of how it feels to be wrong and oh-so-right at the same time!
Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale of a family who loves each other whether or not they are together or apart!
Jesse
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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Ah, to be ten again! I loved this story with its lighthearted feel of the way it felt to be ten years old and say whatever comes to you without thinking of the consequences. This is a great tale of how it feels to be wrong and oh-so-right at the same time!
Thanks for sharing this wonderful tale of a family who loves each other whether or not they are together or apart!
Jesse
Comment Written 26-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023
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You are so kind, Jesse. I'm happy you picked up on the feeling I'd hoped the reader would walk away with. They are a ten-year-old's feelings!
Jay
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Yes! I got the gist of what a ten-year-old feels!
Jesse