Reviews from

Written For the Friends of Fanny

A Word about the Struggles and Rewards of Writing the Play

31 total reviews 
Comment from Father Flaps
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Jay,
How refreshing to read the author's thoughts even before the play is finished! Thanks for this. As a fan of Miss Fanny, it helps.
I think I'll address your reflections like this:
Fanny's dialect... it definitely was a struggle to read, but it added so much to her personality. As tough as it was to read, it must have been exhausting to write. Those readers, who bowed out gracefully because of the dialect, missed a terrific saga.

The length... I don't think your play is too long at all. What is difficult is remembering everything and carrying it forward seven days (or more) at a time, from post to post. If reading a novel, or watching the movie/play, this wouldn't happen. But the element of Fanstory, namely promotion, delays each scene. Sometimes I find myself trying to remember something that was said, or a certain subdivision of an act, and I've got to double back and re-read so I can grasp the present. Bottom line, though... if you shorten the story, you lessen the impact. That's what you always need to remember. It's not over till the fat lady sings!
"It was like a dog, plopped in the middle of the stage, scratching fleas, while its tail kept growing and growing." ... The way I picture your play is Fanny and the reporter outside her house, on the porch (as you described it in most scenes, with Fanny in a rocking chair, and the reporter with his pencil and papers). But this would be on the left side of the stage. Various scenes could be acted out in the background, even the hanging of Lizabeth's husband, even the court scene with that illegitimate judge, even the train ride that Aunt Pikki and Juniper took where Juni was told about her mother's vendetta, even the doctor running to see to Lizabeth after she had her strokes. There's would be lots of action for a Broadway play... even the sound of a train whistle signaling the reporter's time running out. And stage lights would always focus on the action. I went to a play a few years ago... "A Christmas Carol" ... where the actors & actresses themselves changed the scenery around in the background. That could be going on even while Fanny and the reporter were narrating the story.

Plausibility... I think you've done a wonderful job with this story. It's historical, and should be told. It should be published. It should be made into a movie! (At the very least, it should have actresses and actors in a play... Broadway.) It has everything... hero, villain, crime, revenge, a ghost. You've really pulled it off, Jay. (Let the dog bark!)

The ending ... maybe the most important part. You've been building up to this. Surprises are good, and I think you've installed a few. But I am still thinking there's one more bombshell. Maybe I'm wrong. But I feel it's going to be something that only Fanny knows. And that train whistle is going to be so effective in this last scene. Of course, you know me, I foresee Fanny dying there in her rocker, and then floating away with Juniper to her eternal reward as the whistle echoes in the distance.

I really loved your thoughts of writing this play, Jay... the struggles and rewards.

Cheers,
Kimbob






 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Oh, my goodness, Kimbob. I think your spirit has been in my head all the time I've been writing Fanny. About the backstory carried out behind Fanny and the Reporter. That could be done soooooo effectively in Hollywood, as a movie script. A play, I'm afraid, not so. But that may be my lack of vision. In either case, the number of actors and actresses would be enormous. I don't want to give away the last scene, but I think you'll be happy and proud. Kimbob, your six stars warm my heart!
    Jay
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-I am sorry I haven't followed your story, Jay, but I can only do so many.
-I decided to read this and enjoyed it since it was about writing, and I learned a lot.
-I try to help others with their writing, and this makes some good points.
-I can see where writing a script or story in serial form can present some issues, but at the same time you also hook the reader with what will come next.
-Back in the day, novels were in serial form, so it stands to reason if it worked for people like Dickens, it is still valid today.
-I agree with you about your assessment of things already deposited in the reader's mind; changing in mid stream isn't practical.
-Thanks for sharing about Kurt Vonnegut and his writing process, and following it with your version of being the nighttime driver!
-Very well done and insightful. Thanks for sharing it.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Oh, Pam, bless you for all your wisdom and the way you latched onto a thought and carried it through to the end. You are in your reviewing, as you are with your poetry. You are playful, and enjoying life, like a child -- like a poet! Your six stars! Oh my!
    I wish you would read the last posted chapter of Fanny, just to get the clashing a-rhythm of her speech. You don't need to review it, just read enough to get its feeling. Again, Pam, I bow to you.
    Jay
reply by Pam (respa) on 07-Aug-2022
    Thank you for another great reply, Jay. I think you are doing a good job tapping into my inner child. I do like to fun with people on here who I know will appreciate it. Somebody wrote a poem and nothin' and somethin' and that was great fun to review!! I will read the chapter.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Personally Jay, I don't think I like a writer so organized they have everything all mapped out ahead of time. I love it when a character takes over the story and runs with it and leaves the author a little in the dark as to where it is going. Don't apologize. I think Fanny knows what she is doing and if she has held that reporter on the porch too long it hasn't bothered me in the slightest. She is almost as real as you are. LOL

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Ohhoho, as real as I am? Whoa! I wish I'd hear those words at four o'clock in the morning when something inane (like a Spanish verb, the vagrant taste of buttered toast, wondering if a hole I'd stuccoed over in the ceiling will hold out through next winter, and apostrophes) keeps me tossing and turning and sweating until the sun comes up. Anyhoo, I'm no different that any other insomniac writer. I just have lovely and good people like you to make it all worthwhile.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jay, I appreciate your honesty on your writing form. As a novelist, I completely agree with you on the need to go back and weave in details later. That's where you can add literary techniques, such as foreshadowing. I did much better on here when posting novels I had already finished, the used the comments to tweak them.

When I tried to write them as I went, I found myself muddled up and didn't complete them. My advice is to use this as a spring board and to rewrite until you like it.

One of my writing buddies, who is way more advanced in his writing career than yours truly, has on his webpage that he's not a writer, but a re-writer as his profession.

You do a great job,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Thank you, Rhonda. All us writers, regardless of where we are on the path, are a lot alike. That was why I shared this post. It doesn't hurt us to remind each other of it. Nothing profound. Nothing mind jarring. Just remembering together. Thanks for adding to the narrative, Rhonda.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ahh, Jay, a truly relatable tribute to the night drivers of this beautiful craft. The love is in the learning as it goes hand in hand with pencil and eraser, but you are right when you say our characters lead the way. Regarding love for Fanny, it doesn't matter who is created into her life as long as they keep the excellent writing going for a few more weeks. This was a great piece, Jay, and a great reminder that even some wrongs in writing can turn out right.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    John, your wisdom shines through. Thank you for adding to my thoughts on Fanny and writing in general. We writers, like I told Rhonda, are more alike than we are different -- regardless of how long we've been on the journey. We just need to huddle together and remind ourselves of our shared humanity.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, I am not a fan of Fanny but I read with interest your address to the friends of Fanny.
Your writing style was quite entertaining and although I haven't read any of your recent work so far I might be interested in reading more of your work.
Thanks for the entertainment.
Jesse

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Thank you, Jesse. You might want to take a two minute escapade into the last scene of Fanny, just to see what the hype and slander's all about. You don't need to review it. Just taste it and swallow or spit it out!
reply by Jesse James Doty on 07-Aug-2022
    Thanks, maybe I will.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm one who loves Fanny, and her lovely dialect, she is perfect. But I do love characters like her. It's not only the way you have Fanny speak, it's those other little facial expressions, her exasperation when the reporter doesn't quite get her meaning. It all adds to the flavour and depth of the play. Just keep on doing Fanny the way you are. As for the length? I don't think it's been too long. Perhaps people are saying that because you don't post every week, so it FEELS longer even though it isn't. So, in the hope you will post Fanny again like TODAY or tomorrow, I'll save the six for that!! No pressure!! LOL!! Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    No, Sandra. No Fanny today or tomorrow. I blew my wad promoting this because I needed to say some things about progression in serializing. I'll be lucky to have enough shekels left to post it next week. But it's good to know you enjoy Fanny and don't cringe that there's another scene a'comin'!

    Jay
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm able to identify with this absolutely. My novels would never have seen the light of day had it not been for the support and encouragement of my FanStory friends. I went ahead and self-published Into the Lion's Den, cutting the discursive120,000-word The French Letter by 40,000 words without materially changing the story.

Now I'm engaged in the more formidable task of editing The Ponyfish which has a weak hero with an ill-defined central purpose. FanStory has given me the flesh of a good story without the skeleton to hang it on. However, without FanStory there would have been nothing.

I started The Orphan's Tale to fill the time while I was getting a professional Manuscript Assessment and am now in a cleft stick. Eight pages of constructive criticism have arrived through the post and I feel obliged to return to The Ponyfish. Putting it in the bottom drawer would be the coward's way out.

It's a bugger, for I have a feeling that Sumajito's story may be a better one, even though I'm night driving on dipped headlights.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Tony, I was going to send you a PM today to see how you were. Your presence was missed these last few weeks. Your stories were a highlight of my day. I especially, though, want you to pursue The Ponyfish. It needs a world audience. There is too much crackling beneath the surface and you have a November-May relationship that holds the Romantic's eyeballs to the script week-by-week, through all their Himalayas and Death Valleys. (Yes, I go to ridiculous extremes to avoid obvious cliches, often rewriting them.)

    Most importantly, don't be down on yourself over lethargy. It's part of the Covid-effects. You'll know when you must get back to writing!
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, so you're in California? I never read a post again, once I've read it, so I forgot. Well, no wonder I'm among the first batch to read you. I'm on the East Coast; it's midnight here and I generally keep Vampire hours when I write. I don't think anything good is too long. I like Fanny. In fact, I get so involved I get mad when it ends and have to wait until Fanny opens her country mouth again.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    I love it, Amahra! Yeah, aren't you from Birdtown? Your Cards did it to the Yanks today. You are one of my loyal Fanny fans. I'm privileged to have you reading it. Thank you.
reply by amahra on 07-Aug-2022
    Nope! Wrong Bird. It's the Orioles. LOL! And they couldn't beat the Yanks out of a wet brown paper bag. But I still love em' LOL!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Thank you for writing this. It helps me cope with my own growing tail, gone from 3 scenes to 33. And that one really is far too long and cumbersome. Comparitively, Fanny is a model of minimalism. Unfortunately for my mental health I have to keep going until I reach the end - the respite / Great Escape I am in search of. There's no alternative. Then with hindsight I will be able to sit back, buy a printer and cut the fat, ruthlessly. At least I have learnt a lot on the way, especially never to get sucked into reality when writing. Kate xx

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
    Ah, yes, Kate! Reality can be a wet blanket. With this play, since I have no intention of seeking publication for it or having it performed, I'll probably not go through the revision process. Thank you so much for the lovely 6 stars, Kate!

    Jay
reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 07-Aug-2022
    I will have to, before it goes into the archives of family memoirs... I don't expect the family to read it as it is, haha!