This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Veronica's Despair"Third book in the time travel trilogy
37 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Jowell,
Oh, you're going to get a lot of 'Poor Mildred's' on this chapter.
Readers will likely forget that the Powers can whisk them back whenever they like,
which is just what you want as an author.
Veronica is not a problem since no one knows she's there, but Mildred can't simply disappear,
so we'll see what the ingenious mind of Sandra can think up.
Excellent action and tension throughout the chapter.
It'll be good to see this section be concluded
Just a note:
Veronica's powers seem to be expanding in this story, beyond small books, jewellery and money.
Well done.
Robert
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Hello Jowell,
Oh, you're going to get a lot of 'Poor Mildred's' on this chapter.
Readers will likely forget that the Powers can whisk them back whenever they like,
which is just what you want as an author.
Veronica is not a problem since no one knows she's there, but Mildred can't simply disappear,
so we'll see what the ingenious mind of Sandra can think up.
Excellent action and tension throughout the chapter.
It'll be good to see this section be concluded
Just a note:
Veronica's powers seem to be expanding in this story, beyond small books, jewellery and money.
Well done.
Robert
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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Hi Robert, sorry for taking so long to reply, had a bit of a headache. :(
You have written some great observations in this one, all of which will be answered in the next part and the following one. The part about Veronica's powers expanding is something I'd like to explain in that chapter, but wasn't sure how to. I'll be thinking of ways as I go on. The thought came to me as I was writing her fear and anguish for those trapped in the corridor, and with everything stopping her from getting help so her adrenaline was building giving her the strength to do what was needed. It was from a news article I read a few years ago about a young mother hearing her son screaming. She ran out and saw him under the wheels of her neighbours car, he'd gone inside without putting the handbrake on. He son's ball was in his garden and he'd gone to fetch it back. The car rolled and knocked him down and went over his legs. The mum actually lifted the car off him. She was only small, but many put it down to her fear that her son was dying. Hence her astounding strength. I've likened Veronica to doing the same thing with the scissors. Her friend would die and so would all the patients if she didn't save them.
Long answer!! LOL. Anyway, that was my thought at the time of writing this. Thank you so much my friend for the six stars, and the fabulous review. Some of your comments over the months have had me changing an upcoming chapter, or taking something out, so I always look forward to reading your thoughts . Don't ever stop! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is an excellent chapter, Sandra, that shows
the bravery of the characters trying to
get these patients out of harm's way.
-There is obvious concern about Mildred, but
Tommy has to tend to patients;however, the
porters pitch in and do their part.
-The scene with Mildred and the wheelchair
patients is done very well.
-We can picture her with the three
patients holding on to each other's chairs.
-I like the reference to Lady Ann when
Ver. considers if she could push a wheelchair.
-Luckily, she musters the strength and is able to help.
-But Mildred is not well, and a patient
calls out to the porter for help.
-This is an excellent description:
"I was seeing first-hand the bravery of a man..."
-We are left with Mildred having taken a very bad fall,
and Ver. not able to do anything about it.
-You show her agony, the effect of which is
very powerful at the end of the chapter.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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-This is an excellent chapter, Sandra, that shows
the bravery of the characters trying to
get these patients out of harm's way.
-There is obvious concern about Mildred, but
Tommy has to tend to patients;however, the
porters pitch in and do their part.
-The scene with Mildred and the wheelchair
patients is done very well.
-We can picture her with the three
patients holding on to each other's chairs.
-I like the reference to Lady Ann when
Ver. considers if she could push a wheelchair.
-Luckily, she musters the strength and is able to help.
-But Mildred is not well, and a patient
calls out to the porter for help.
-This is an excellent description:
"I was seeing first-hand the bravery of a man..."
-We are left with Mildred having taken a very bad fall,
and Ver. not able to do anything about it.
-You show her agony, the effect of which is
very powerful at the end of the chapter.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
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What a lovely review, Pam, thank you so much. I've now come to the end of the drama, the patients have been saved and all is well. But, now to sort Mildred out. :)) I'm so pleased you liked the way I wrote this part, it was harder to put into words than I realised. Thank you so very much for the 6, my friend, that has brightened my day considerably. Big hugs. :)) Sandra xxxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. It is good all the patients were taken care of. I am sure Veronica will be relieved! Although, she might have a few things to say to the "Powers." I am relying on you to take care of Mildred:) I am glad my review brightened your day.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
WOW! Sandra, this was riveting. You did a great job with this chapter. It was intense. Everything fit into place. I was right there with the patients trying to escape the smoke. You added great details, like the wet cloths over noses and those crawling below the smoke. I was cheering that the door was opened in time to save the people. Great job and thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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WOW! Sandra, this was riveting. You did a great job with this chapter. It was intense. Everything fit into place. I was right there with the patients trying to escape the smoke. You added great details, like the wet cloths over noses and those crawling below the smoke. I was cheering that the door was opened in time to save the people. Great job and thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Oh, Jan, thank you so very much! What a lovely review, I'm glad you liked this part. And I'm sending you a humongous hug for the super six! Bless your heart, thank you. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Rhonda Skinner
Excellent writing. I didn't notice any errors and was thoroughly engaged in the story. I hope Mildred makes it; I quite like that character. Cheers, Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Excellent writing. I didn't notice any errors and was thoroughly engaged in the story. I hope Mildred makes it; I quite like that character. Cheers, Rhonda
Comment Written 21-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and for all the shiny stars, Rhonda, that was so kind of you. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part, more coming soon. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Treischel
Whoa! you start this chapter with a jolt.
I like how you manage to inject a smile within dire circumstances. Mildred is certainly heroic. It's wonderful that the porter is too. Oh my, poor Mildred passed out and hit head head. No! The drama goes on. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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Whoa! you start this chapter with a jolt.
I like how you manage to inject a smile within dire circumstances. Mildred is certainly heroic. It's wonderful that the porter is too. Oh my, poor Mildred passed out and hit head head. No! The drama goes on. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2019
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What a lovely review, Tom, thank you so very much. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Miss Sherry
I surely wish I had read preceding chapters of this as it is fascinating. You have a real knack for this surreal writing. I know I will watch for more of your work, as this is right up my alley. It ended just as I ran out of breath.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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I surely wish I had read preceding chapters of this as it is fascinating. You have a real knack for this surreal writing. I know I will watch for more of your work, as this is right up my alley. It ended just as I ran out of breath.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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That is so nice to know! Thank you very much for this fabulous review, my friend, I really appreciate it. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
Nice rollercoaster of emotions going through this one. relief, worry, reassurance and then panic. Good stuff. lol
Word had filtered down the queue of scared and desperate people- maybe substitute terrified in here for scared. you use scared for the chalk antics so a change up may be good to avoid close repetition, also to show the escalation of the experience.
got the door open. Will everyone be getting' out alive?" - drop the 'g' off getting to justify the apostrophe.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Nice rollercoaster of emotions going through this one. relief, worry, reassurance and then panic. Good stuff. lol
Word had filtered down the queue of scared and desperate people- maybe substitute terrified in here for scared. you use scared for the chalk antics so a change up may be good to avoid close repetition, also to show the escalation of the experience.
got the door open. Will everyone be getting' out alive?" - drop the 'g' off getting to justify the apostrophe.
All the best
G
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Hi Gareth,
Thank you so much for picking out those nits. I found another one as I was correcting the 'g' off 'getting, in the same line! So, double thank you for taking me there. lol. I've changed the scared to terrifying ... pleased with that. Things will start changing now, so I hope you stay with me, I need that eagle eye of yours! :)) Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Rob Caudle
Brilliant my friend great pacing and great tension through out this piece. So you leave us with Mildred injured and veronica mad as a wet hen at the ptb. Well of course you did.I am so sorry I a so late to your piece I have been working hard to get ready for a meeting with my editor. I think you have out your readers in the right spot. Perhaps V and M are about to return to there own tie wipe there brows and get ready for the next jump or not. Really well done here my friend.
Rob
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Brilliant my friend great pacing and great tension through out this piece. So you leave us with Mildred injured and veronica mad as a wet hen at the ptb. Well of course you did.I am so sorry I a so late to your piece I have been working hard to get ready for a meeting with my editor. I think you have out your readers in the right spot. Perhaps V and M are about to return to there own tie wipe there brows and get ready for the next jump or not. Really well done here my friend.
Rob
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Aw, thank you, Rob! That is so nice of you to take the time out from your preparations, I know how much work that takes and I wish you loads of luck with it, and the publication. I want a copy of that book when it's out.
Thank you so much for the 6 stars, and the lovely review. (You've been peeping in my notes, haven't you?? LOL) I'm working on the next part now, so you'll find out on Sunday, but only if you have the time, I will completely understand if you don't. Big hugs, y friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Mistydawn
Oh no, not Mildred. No, she can't die now. Your story is very well-written, interesting, suspenseful. I do hope someone comes back and checks on MIldred before it's to late. Great job as always.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Oh no, not Mildred. No, she can't die now. Your story is very well-written, interesting, suspenseful. I do hope someone comes back and checks on MIldred before it's to late. Great job as always.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Thank you so much for the shiny six stars, and lovely review, my friend. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. The next one will be posted in three days time. Then you will get your answer! LOL :)) Sandra xxx
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I'll be looking forward to it.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Good Morning, Sandra!
Oh! Poor Mildred! I wasn't expecting your well-crafted chapter to conclude as it did!
Your chapter is tightly constructed - with vivid imagery and believable dialogue. Just the right amount of tension to keep the plot believable and entertaining as well!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Good Morning, Sandra!
Oh! Poor Mildred! I wasn't expecting your well-crafted chapter to conclude as it did!
Your chapter is tightly constructed - with vivid imagery and believable dialogue. Just the right amount of tension to keep the plot believable and entertaining as well!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 20-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2019
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Hi Diane, thank you so much for you lovely review and all the stars! I'm working on the next part now and it will be ready in a few days. Then the questions will be answered. :)) Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xxx