This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Protest March"Third book in the time travel trilogy
35 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is an excellent chapter of your story, Sandra. History repeats itself. I really do hate violence when it comes to demonstrations. We are seeing such hatefulness here in the States right now. Everyone fears someone will get killed. I wonder if this is the only way to achieve goals--the loudest wins. Civility goes by the wayside. Marilyn
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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This is an excellent chapter of your story, Sandra. History repeats itself. I really do hate violence when it comes to demonstrations. We are seeing such hatefulness here in the States right now. Everyone fears someone will get killed. I wonder if this is the only way to achieve goals--the loudest wins. Civility goes by the wayside. Marilyn
Comment Written 09-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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I've been hearing a lot about what's going on in America. One reviewer mentions this chapter being like the 'Me Too' movement. I take it, that is similar to the Suffragette Movement over a hundred years ago. I don't like violence, either, Marilyn. It frightens the life out of me. Thank you so much for coming along and reading this part. That is so kind of you. We have to enter prison next. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from tfawcus
I love the way you have suggested that sixth sense that people have when confronted with an unseen dimension, with the observation: "and, thank you, Mildred. I see a wise, ancient soul in the depths of your eyes". Your description of the march, and of the confrontation with the police in Downing Street is graphic, and one can sense the rising anger and the determination of the ladies. You've certainly left us with a good hook at the end. Great chapter!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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I love the way you have suggested that sixth sense that people have when confronted with an unseen dimension, with the observation: "and, thank you, Mildred. I see a wise, ancient soul in the depths of your eyes". Your description of the march, and of the confrontation with the police in Downing Street is graphic, and one can sense the rising anger and the determination of the ladies. You've certainly left us with a good hook at the end. Great chapter!
Comment Written 09-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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I bet you're glad you've caught up! LOL. Thank you so much, Tony, for another wonderful review and another lovely pile of stars. You've certainly made my day. Next part, we go to prison! Should be a fun chapter! lol. Thank you again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Gloria ....
This built up very nicely, Sandra and the conclusion of the chapter is a cliff-hanger with brutality thrown in. I can imagine the suffragette movement to be more politically charged as the powers that be have no intention to relinquish a share easily.
Another fine chapter. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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This built up very nicely, Sandra and the conclusion of the chapter is a cliff-hanger with brutality thrown in. I can imagine the suffragette movement to be more politically charged as the powers that be have no intention to relinquish a share easily.
Another fine chapter. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 09-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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Thank you, Gloria! What a lovely review. Mildred and Veronica certainly didn't plan on this happening. Now Veronica has her work cut out for her. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, thank you! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Tina Crute
I enjoyed reading this portion of your book. What a curiosity you provoke! I am reading excitedly because I just know Gladys and Mildred will get themselves into a mess. At the same time, I am so proud of them and rooting for them! This was a very enjoyable read!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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I enjoyed reading this portion of your book. What a curiosity you provoke! I am reading excitedly because I just know Gladys and Mildred will get themselves into a mess. At the same time, I am so proud of them and rooting for them! This was a very enjoyable read!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, Tina! That's such an encouraging review. It's what every author aspires to, that their writing get's the reader so involved with the characters. You've quite made my day. Thank you! :)) Sandra xx
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Thank YOU...Loved it!:)
Comment from Lady Jane
I've often wondered what he did to her that caused her to hate him so much. Consider revising to eliminate one of the 'her's from sentence:
I've often wondered what he did that caused her to hate him so much.
Whoa, I'm not liking where the is headed, eek! ME thinks there's a mole in the bunch of frenzied hens, LOL. Well written. Smooth, solid pace with perfect dialogue and clean writing. I enjoyed the story and descriptions used to draw the reader from location to location...I felt like I was there with Mildred and Gladys...I'm also not liking Claire much...not sure why :)
Janelle
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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I've often wondered what he did to her that caused her to hate him so much. Consider revising to eliminate one of the 'her's from sentence:
I've often wondered what he did that caused her to hate him so much.
Whoa, I'm not liking where the is headed, eek! ME thinks there's a mole in the bunch of frenzied hens, LOL. Well written. Smooth, solid pace with perfect dialogue and clean writing. I enjoyed the story and descriptions used to draw the reader from location to location...I felt like I was there with Mildred and Gladys...I'm also not liking Claire much...not sure why :)
Janelle
Comment Written 08-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Janelle. I've taken your suggestion and removed that extra 'her'. Thank you for that, too. Yes, Clare would have made a good union leader, lol. Thank you for your lovely support, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from JDRBAR
Good grief. If Mildred gets arrested and then disappears in front of them, it's gonna raise more than a few eyebrows. LOL Excellent chapter my friend. I almost missed it. With no reviews or replies to respond to, I don't always check my message box anymore. Found you on page two of my msgs.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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Good grief. If Mildred gets arrested and then disappears in front of them, it's gonna raise more than a few eyebrows. LOL Excellent chapter my friend. I almost missed it. With no reviews or replies to respond to, I don't always check my message box anymore. Found you on page two of my msgs.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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LOL, I don't think the Powers will make that happen. It would change more than history! lol. Thanks Diane, for this lovely review. I'm just like you, sometimes I miss a part of someone else's and only realise when the following part comes up. So if that ever happens to me with your book, just give me a nudge. Thanks for this lovely review, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rama devi
As usual, this draws the reader in. great job with characterization, POV, Pacing, Sentence mechanics, dialog and dramatic plot. Also, bravo on getting most of the commas right...especially those with conjunctions and independent clauses. Well done.
Just a few suggestions:
*Bringing her hand up to fiddle with her hair(,) she managed to hide her discomfort.
*
There was a low murmuring passing around the room that spoke volumes of how the group regarded their friend.
Wordy. Suggest trimming THERE WAS, etc. Trimmed example:
A low murmuring passed around the room that spoke volumes of how the group regarded their friend.
*
Clare waited once again, and I watched her as she stood on the table observing the women's faces.
trim HER
*
The resulting cheers as they walked out the hall,(no ,) and the looks of anger on their faces,(no ,) told me today was going to be a day I would never forget.
*
She was worried too, but,(no ,) what could she do?
* The resulting mayhem saw many women knocked to the ground,(no ,) and others dragged off to the awaiting police vans.
* I last saw Gladys as she was dragged, kicking and screaming(,) towards the van, and then brutally thrown inside.
Potent closing hook:
Worse still, Mildred was next...!
Enjoyed this.
Blessings and hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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As usual, this draws the reader in. great job with characterization, POV, Pacing, Sentence mechanics, dialog and dramatic plot. Also, bravo on getting most of the commas right...especially those with conjunctions and independent clauses. Well done.
Just a few suggestions:
*Bringing her hand up to fiddle with her hair(,) she managed to hide her discomfort.
*
There was a low murmuring passing around the room that spoke volumes of how the group regarded their friend.
Wordy. Suggest trimming THERE WAS, etc. Trimmed example:
A low murmuring passed around the room that spoke volumes of how the group regarded their friend.
*
Clare waited once again, and I watched her as she stood on the table observing the women's faces.
trim HER
*
The resulting cheers as they walked out the hall,(no ,) and the looks of anger on their faces,(no ,) told me today was going to be a day I would never forget.
*
She was worried too, but,(no ,) what could she do?
* The resulting mayhem saw many women knocked to the ground,(no ,) and others dragged off to the awaiting police vans.
* I last saw Gladys as she was dragged, kicking and screaming(,) towards the van, and then brutally thrown inside.
Potent closing hook:
Worse still, Mildred was next...!
Enjoyed this.
Blessings and hugs,
rd
Comment Written 08-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much for your really wonderful review, Rama. I gone through and made all the corrections. The cutting out of those words made quite a difference, so thank you for that too. I'm glad you enjoyed this part, it's hard getting inside a woman like Clare. Next. we go to prison! :( Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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Wow - that sounds dramatic.; I look forward to seeing where your story goes...
Big hugs!
rd
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Exciting chapter! Good job.
and the looks of anger on their faces, told me today <--Remove the comma. It divides the subject (looks of anger) from its predicate (told me).
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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Exciting chapter! Good job.
and the looks of anger on their faces, told me today <--Remove the comma. It divides the subject (looks of anger) from its predicate (told me).
Comment Written 08-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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LOL, we must have been writing each other a review at the same time!! Thank you so much, Phyllis for the lovely 6 stars, and helpful review. I'll nip in and correct that now. Biggest hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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We're soul sisters, so we do everything together. :)
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I believe that, too! I have a lot to look forward to when I leave this world. :)) xx
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Oh no. Mildred is getting arrested as well. That should be interesting. Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter to see what happens to the ladies. Great writing. Rox
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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Oh no. Mildred is getting arrested as well. That should be interesting. Well done as always. Looking forward to the next chapter to see what happens to the ladies. Great writing. Rox
Comment Written 08-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, my friend, for another of your lovely reviews. I really do appreciate you reading my story. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from DonandVicki
A topic that has always interested me. I have always felt that women are smarter than men and have been underestimated by men for years. Don and Vicki.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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A topic that has always interested me. I have always felt that women are smarter than men and have been underestimated by men for years. Don and Vicki.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2018
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Thank you so very much for the lovely six stars, and the lovely comments you've made. I totally agree with you, the saddest thing is that there are still so many countries treat women as belongings to do with and a treat any way they want. Thank you again, Don and Vicki, it was so nice to see you had read my story and liked it. Big hugs, Sandra xx