This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Shock for the Suffragettes."Third book in the time travel trilogy
30 total reviews
Comment from Lady Jane
Wow, this is such a clean chapter full of intensity and ever growing need to know how this story ends, Sandra. The crips dialogue, the vivid imagery and deftly laid out formatting makes for an easy, clear read. A story Im enjoying, to say the least. Loved the part where she's stuck in her denim, what a great concept for tying the eras together, although mysteriously ... it's ideas like this that bring your writing to such a high standard. Your imagination and grasp of language and overall concept make you an author to be admired. Well done, dear, again. Well done.
Janelle
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
Wow, this is such a clean chapter full of intensity and ever growing need to know how this story ends, Sandra. The crips dialogue, the vivid imagery and deftly laid out formatting makes for an easy, clear read. A story Im enjoying, to say the least. Loved the part where she's stuck in her denim, what a great concept for tying the eras together, although mysteriously ... it's ideas like this that bring your writing to such a high standard. Your imagination and grasp of language and overall concept make you an author to be admired. Well done, dear, again. Well done.
Janelle
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
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Thank you so very much, Janelle! What a lovely review to wake up to. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Veronica will find this case will be harder than any she's tackled before, but with Mildred by her side now, anything is possible! Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Beck Fenton
I am riveted. The story of the suffragettes in Great Britain and in the U.S. is one that I am very interested in learn ing more about. The story is especially important today in America. The "Me, too" movement is changing history for all women, I hope.
Good writing and no nits!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
I am riveted. The story of the suffragettes in Great Britain and in the U.S. is one that I am very interested in learn ing more about. The story is especially important today in America. The "Me, too" movement is changing history for all women, I hope.
Good writing and no nits!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
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It's taken such a long time, hasn't it? But, had it not been for the suffragettes, we might still be living in the dark ages! :( Thank you so much, Beck, I really appreciate you lovely review. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Mistydawn
This is the first chapter I've read of this story, but it was very easy to get a sense of what is going on. The story is well-written, very interesting, with a hint of suspense. I'd like to read more, find out what happens next.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
This is the first chapter I've read of this story, but it was very easy to get a sense of what is going on. The story is well-written, very interesting, with a hint of suspense. I'd like to read more, find out what happens next.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
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Aw, Thank you so much, Mistydawn, for the lovely review. I'm delighted that you enjoyed this part. I hope you come along again and enjoy the ride! :)) Big hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
If you keep her from going that will change history as well won't it?
It was written in the newspaper that she was arrested. Wow! It was an actual event? How sad. What will they do now to save her from being arrested? The question remains. Should they risk changing history. This is exciting Sandra.
Well done. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
If you keep her from going that will change history as well won't it?
It was written in the newspaper that she was arrested. Wow! It was an actual event? How sad. What will they do now to save her from being arrested? The question remains. Should they risk changing history. This is exciting Sandra.
Well done. :) Nancy
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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LOL, Nancy, Emily was the real event. The article that Veronica found of Gladys's arrest is the fictional part. You will understand why they have to try and stop Gladys being arrested later in the story, (a few more chapters) But, do they succeed? Hmm. We will see. Thank you, my dear friend for another of your lovely reviews. :)) Sandra xxx
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Yes, I understand she has a bully brute of a husband. Men like him were the reason women have had to fight for their rights. Pond scum. LOL
Comment from giraffmang
I have seen it postured that she actually pulled the horse down on top of her. A theory that has borne some truth over the years forensically...
because the women were all dressed up all their finest attire - I would change the second usage of 'all' to 'in'.
When I reached her side, I could see a woman raising a suffragette flag and shouting, 'give women the vote,' as she bent down to slip under the railing.'- delete the speech mark from the very end here.
We need to be recognised as equals and to be counted for the intelligent people we are.'
- hmm, and running out in the middle of a horse race seemed just the obvious thing to do to show 'intelligence'...
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
I have seen it postured that she actually pulled the horse down on top of her. A theory that has borne some truth over the years forensically...
because the women were all dressed up all their finest attire - I would change the second usage of 'all' to 'in'.
When I reached her side, I could see a woman raising a suffragette flag and shouting, 'give women the vote,' as she bent down to slip under the railing.'- delete the speech mark from the very end here.
We need to be recognised as equals and to be counted for the intelligent people we are.'
- hmm, and running out in the middle of a horse race seemed just the obvious thing to do to show 'intelligence'...
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Hi, Gareth, thank you so much for your review. I've read so much regarding Emily, apparently she wasn't much liked amongst the Suffragette Movement, because of the radical things she did without their approval. The race itself, is documented as saying she was forcibly knocked down by the horse which went on to tumble down rolling on the Jockey. The death certificate of Emily, who died 4 days later, was:
Miss Emily Wilding Davison died of fracture of the base of the skull, caused by being accidentally knocked down by a horse through wilfully rushing on to the racecourse on Epsom Downs during the progress of the race for the Derby; death was due to misadventure.[81]
There were two witnesses that said the horse hit her as she tried to either, grab the reigns or try to protect herself but it happened so fast it was hard to tell. Wiki, also said she was hit with such force she was flung in away and hit the ground unconscious. There is so much about her, that I'm not sure what really happened. I've changed that part now after reading what you said, because I now haven't the foggiest what really happened. But I needed this solely for my story to progress for Veronica and Mildred. I tell you something, I would never want to write a biography of a well known person, my God, you can get yourself tied up in knots. I'm sticking to the true fictional side of things in future stories. Like my Eric's book! LOL.
Oh, and your right, I'm also taking out the 'intelligence' part! LOL!!! Thanks, my friend. I needed someone like you to come in and say what you did, especially if it's going to be published. Big hugs! Sandra xx
Comment from JDRBAR
'Oh, Lordy, Miss Veronica, she's in a whole load of trouble now!' (Needs to be two separate sentences. Period after Veronica. Cap on She's)
he crowd (comma needed)with me hot on her heels.
There was silence, then a soft voice spoke up at the back of the room.(I would make this two sentences as well.)
I think it would have been a tad better if I knew what Emily originally intended to do. Regardless, you are building great suspense in this chapter.)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
'Oh, Lordy, Miss Veronica, she's in a whole load of trouble now!' (Needs to be two separate sentences. Period after Veronica. Cap on She's)
he crowd (comma needed)with me hot on her heels.
There was silence, then a soft voice spoke up at the back of the room.(I would make this two sentences as well.)
I think it would have been a tad better if I knew what Emily originally intended to do. Regardless, you are building great suspense in this chapter.)
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Hi Diane, thank you so much for reading this part and for your help and suggestions. I'll take a good look at them. I'll hot-foot it back to put that comma in though. :))
Emily Davison actually did do this, and no one really knew her true intentions apart from her suffragette friends. It is believed that she hadn't intended to die, it all went wrong. But, it is all supposition. As I have used her to open up the plot for Veronica, I couldn't write something that isn't factual about an actual event in history, regarding a real person. I did put something about this in my author notes, though. Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xx
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I don't think you understood what I meant, Sandra. A woman slips through the fence and suddenly get trampled by a horse. Why? What was she intending to do? Stop the race in protest? Keep the King's horse from winning? Was the race in progress? You said she reached for the reins. How did the horse react? What was she hoping would happen?
I think you could give a one or two sentence explanation without changing the factual event. Just my two cents for what it's worth.
Next part of Char is posted.
I'm liking Mildred more and more. She has a Char personality. LOL
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I did understand you, Diane, but I can't say what I don't know of a factual piece. I can only go on what it recorded. To do otherwise would make readers discount any of my book. Facts have to remain facts. I and no one else knew what was going on in her mind that day, because the truth of it was, the Suffragette Movement did not approve of what she got up to. I know what you are saying, but even though it would make interesting reading I will never alter true facts for the sake of my book. I leave that sort of thing for Veronica and Mildred. :) xx
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Okay, so if I understand correctly, the suffragettes were at the racetrack. One, for no apparent reason, went onto the track and got trampled. Got it! LOL I wouldn't expect you to alter any true life facts when writing. I don't either. Thanks for the explantion.
Comment from apky
Yooohooooo! My darlings, Vero and Mildred, are back. What a joy, even if I did / do enjoy your Eric's story.
The girls deserve a medal for paving the way for all of us today. They made so many sacrifices and died in the process, poor brave souls. I'm intrigued by how Veronica can be seen or not seen. I need to read the next post asap; itching!
Well done, Sandra
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
Yooohooooo! My darlings, Vero and Mildred, are back. What a joy, even if I did / do enjoy your Eric's story.
The girls deserve a medal for paving the way for all of us today. They made so many sacrifices and died in the process, poor brave souls. I'm intrigued by how Veronica can be seen or not seen. I need to read the next post asap; itching!
Well done, Sandra
Comment Written 25-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Hi Aki, ah, did you miss the last chapter when the Powers That Be, decided to make Veronica invisible again? We need her to do some snooping, and this is the best way to do it. lol. I wish I could do that! Thank you my wonderful friend for your support, I love it that you are big fans of Ver and Mildred. :)) Thank you so much for the 6 shiny stars, and this 'make Sandra smile' review! lol. Loved it. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Very sad. What an awful way to die. I found this chapter to be really well written, interesting and no errors. I look forward to seeing how they will keep Gladys from going to the protest the next day. Well done Sandra. Rox
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
Very sad. What an awful way to die. I found this chapter to be really well written, interesting and no errors. I look forward to seeing how they will keep Gladys from going to the protest the next day. Well done Sandra. Rox
Comment Written 24-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Thank you so much for this lovely review, Rox, Gladys forgets her home life when she is out demanding women's rights with the suffragettes, possibly because of the way she is treated at home. We will see what will happen tomorrow. I'm really pleased you enjoyed this part. Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Gloria ....
Superb writing, Sandra. Your descriptions are lean but carry a fullness of expression which is a real skill.
How smart to link your fiction with a real event. This is a timely book me thinks, and you are deftly handling hefty material without a heavy hand.
Very enjoyable read.
Gloria
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
Superb writing, Sandra. Your descriptions are lean but carry a fullness of expression which is a real skill.
How smart to link your fiction with a real event. This is a timely book me thinks, and you are deftly handling hefty material without a heavy hand.
Very enjoyable read.
Gloria
Comment Written 24-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Gloria, that is such a lovely review. It has been really insightful researching for this book, I knew it all happened but not what these ladies were subjected to in prison and at home. Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment from BlueTiger
Great job on this chapter; I like how you're weaving real events into your story. The only thing I saw to fix was the spelling error and missing punctuation at the end of this sentence;
We need to be recognised (recognized) as equals, and to be counted for the intelligent people we are(.")
Besides that, it all looks good and the story is moving along nicely. Good work!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
Great job on this chapter; I like how you're weaving real events into your story. The only thing I saw to fix was the spelling error and missing punctuation at the end of this sentence;
We need to be recognised (recognized) as equals, and to be counted for the intelligent people we are(.")
Besides that, it all looks good and the story is moving along nicely. Good work!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, my friend! I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. UK English of 'recognised, is with the 's', it's one of those words that fox a lot of people, we also use, double L in words you would use the single L. But, I did miss out the 'end' quote mark, will go and sort that now! Thank you for that! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx