Tales Of Darkness And Light
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Come Mourning Night"Finding Light Through Shadowed Paths
27 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
This is a sad poem and I feel the poets hopelessness in this poem. 'My dreams are bound to die,' says a lot. The line is a good one for this kind of poem. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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This is a sad poem and I feel the poets hopelessness in this poem. 'My dreams are bound to die,' says a lot. The line is a good one for this kind of poem. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad you enjoyed it. Have a nice day.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is a classically beautiful Villanelle, which to me, exceeded both examples by Sylvia Platt and Dylan Thomas. I admired its effortless ease, which is hard to accomplish when the form requires repeating lines. Loved the melancholic tone of it which fits the "love, loss and challenge" topic requirement for the form. A tastefully chosen artwork and artistic presentation add to the pleasure of reading.
Come mourning night, no star will grace the sky,
and moon will drape himself in cloak of black.
Devoid of light, my dreams are bound to die.
Bravo! This should be published.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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This is a classically beautiful Villanelle, which to me, exceeded both examples by Sylvia Platt and Dylan Thomas. I admired its effortless ease, which is hard to accomplish when the form requires repeating lines. Loved the melancholic tone of it which fits the "love, loss and challenge" topic requirement for the form. A tastefully chosen artwork and artistic presentation add to the pleasure of reading.
Come mourning night, no star will grace the sky,
and moon will drape himself in cloak of black.
Devoid of light, my dreams are bound to die.
Bravo! This should be published.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Wow! Thanks a lot for this uplifting, positive feedack, Yelena. I'm thrilled you enjoyed this so much. Your comments surely made my day. Glad to know it could convey the desired melancholy. Thanks for the glowing stars, too!
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from kiwijenny
The requiem of darkness makes me sigh -
my life's like smoke, where hopes begin to slack.
Come mourning night no star will grace the night
I like the word requiem I like the repeat refrain come mourning night..
There is a sadness
God bless
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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The requiem of darkness makes me sigh -
my life's like smoke, where hopes begin to slack.
Come mourning night no star will grace the night
I like the word requiem I like the repeat refrain come mourning night..
There is a sadness
God bless
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! Glad you liked the refrain lines. Have a nice day!
Comment from Pili Pubul
Excellent Villanelle in perfect style, deep emotional impact in the
excellent description ,emotional imagery of mourning.
A poem to remember. Pili
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Excellent Villanelle in perfect style, deep emotional impact in the
excellent description ,emotional imagery of mourning.
A poem to remember. Pili
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thanks for the lovely comments and glowing stars, Pili. So pleased you found it appealing and worth remembering. Enjoy the day!
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My pleasure...
Comment from TAB_that's me
I love the villenelle form and your poem did not disappoint:) It was beautifully written. Great rhyme and meter. Good luck in the contest.
Teresa
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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I love the villenelle form and your poem did not disappoint:) It was beautifully written. Great rhyme and meter. Good luck in the contest.
Teresa
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thanks for reading and reviewing, Teresa! :)
Comment from angel123
Your poem is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. It held my attention and it flows well. It also rhymes well and your artwork picture goes well with it. Your poem type and style is interesting. I will have to try it.
Angel123
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Your poem is interesting and I enjoyed reading it. It held my attention and it flows well. It also rhymes well and your artwork picture goes well with it. Your poem type and style is interesting. I will have to try it.
Angel123
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2015
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Thanks for reading and positive comments, Angel! You'll enjoy writing in this form. Enjoy the day. :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This villanelle, Come Mourning Night, does a great job of staying on the point and never sounding like a formulaic poem. The mood remains bleak and losing hope through to the end.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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This villanelle, Come Mourning Night, does a great job of staying on the point and never sounding like a formulaic poem. The mood remains bleak and losing hope through to the end.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks for the positive review, Bill! Have a great day ahead!
Comment from JudyS
Anupam, Wow, this is wonderful. You did a great job of writing on this contest entry. And it's a winning entry. You set the mood very well and chose the perfect picture to go with it. Best of luck! Well done. Have a great week. Judy
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Anupam, Wow, this is wonderful. You did a great job of writing on this contest entry. And it's a winning entry. You set the mood very well and chose the perfect picture to go with it. Best of luck! Well done. Have a great week. Judy
Comment Written 31-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks for your kind comments and rating, Judy. Much appreciated. Hope you're done with the household chores, and find time to write soon. Have a wonderful week, my friend.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from Gloria ....
Hi Anupam. I am really enjoying this Villanelle series and yours is no exception.
The overall tone of absolute darkness so well delineated in the opening tercet is beautifully woven throughout with the repeating lines and images. Yes, even dreams need light to grow.
Tasteful use of internal rhymes, lending form to the inevitable and never ending descent into darkness.
I wonder about this particular line:
in wait - this sudden silence's hard to hack.
I stumbled on that, and thought it might read easier if written: this sudden silence hard to hack. That doesn't change the meter at all.
Love this line:
null eyes now sleep, too scared of looking back. Null eyes, a blind void and will stay that way without the history to feed the soul.
All in all this is an excellent Villanelle.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Hi Anupam. I am really enjoying this Villanelle series and yours is no exception.
The overall tone of absolute darkness so well delineated in the opening tercet is beautifully woven throughout with the repeating lines and images. Yes, even dreams need light to grow.
Tasteful use of internal rhymes, lending form to the inevitable and never ending descent into darkness.
I wonder about this particular line:
in wait - this sudden silence's hard to hack.
I stumbled on that, and thought it might read easier if written: this sudden silence hard to hack. That doesn't change the meter at all.
Love this line:
null eyes now sleep, too scared of looking back. Null eyes, a blind void and will stay that way without the history to feed the soul.
All in all this is an excellent Villanelle.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 30-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks for this wonderful review, Gloria! You have noticed the little details as well, so I really appreciate it. I'll surely have a look into the line you have mentioned. Glad to know you found it dark and beautiful. Thanks for good luck wishes, too. Have a great day ahead!
Regards,
Anupam
Comment from catch22
Hi Anupam, this is a very sad and haunting villanelle--perfect subject matter for the form. You've used steady iambic meter throughout and the repeat lines work very well due to clever punctuation choices in each tercet. They worked very well together in the quatrain. I did think the rhymes of "Slack" and "hack" seemed a bit forced for the elegant nature of this poem. They kind of stuck out for me. Just thought I'd let you know . Overall, it's a beautiful entry for the contest. Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Hi Anupam, this is a very sad and haunting villanelle--perfect subject matter for the form. You've used steady iambic meter throughout and the repeat lines work very well due to clever punctuation choices in each tercet. They worked very well together in the quatrain. I did think the rhymes of "Slack" and "hack" seemed a bit forced for the elegant nature of this poem. They kind of stuck out for me. Just thought I'd let you know . Overall, it's a beautiful entry for the contest. Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2015
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Thanks for this lovely review, Gail! I'd see if I can still manage to have those rhymes replaced. I'm delighted that you found the refrain lines meaningful and effective. It was a good exercise to do in the free time I'm having. Thanks for your warm wishes as well.
Regards,
Anupam