The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Ocean's Destiny"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
21 total reviews
Comment from NurseBarb
This is such an inspirational poem with a great message. The obedient heart, the soul of man is a great line and so very true. Thanks for sharing this lovely poem.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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This is such an inspirational poem with a great message. The obedient heart, the soul of man is a great line and so very true. Thanks for sharing this lovely poem.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Hi NurseBarb
Thanks for this wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed Ocean's Destiny. :-) Carolyn
Comment from jmdg1954
Great artwork. It makes me want to fly to a carribean island right now. Your poem was wonderfully written. The flow was smooth and the cadence made it a joy to read. For me, itcwascsimply written. It didn't require a thesaurus or dictionary (thank you).
The beauty of an ocean is breathtaking and you poem was its equal. John
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Great artwork. It makes me want to fly to a carribean island right now. Your poem was wonderfully written. The flow was smooth and the cadence made it a joy to read. For me, itcwascsimply written. It didn't require a thesaurus or dictionary (thank you).
The beauty of an ocean is breathtaking and you poem was its equal. John
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Hi there John, I am glad you understood and enjoyed Ocean's Destiny. I am with you, if you have to have a dictionary to read the poem, you might as well skip it. LOL
Go 'whoever is going to win the series'''' rah rah rah..:-) Carolyn
Comment from Pyrrho
Although you enthusiasm for the beauties of the anture of the sea and your deity come through in this poem, it needs work. For example,
"To rise at night and ebb by day" ... this is too wrong to allow it to pass with no comment. Tides do not have a constant relationship with times of day. Tides are ruled by the orbiting moon and shift it time every day.
"Vast waters roll to kiss the shore
But can not enter heaven's door" This is such a meaning free couplet, the rhyme in obviously forced.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Although you enthusiasm for the beauties of the anture of the sea and your deity come through in this poem, it needs work. For example,
"To rise at night and ebb by day" ... this is too wrong to allow it to pass with no comment. Tides do not have a constant relationship with times of day. Tides are ruled by the orbiting moon and shift it time every day.
"Vast waters roll to kiss the shore
But can not enter heaven's door" This is such a meaning free couplet, the rhyme in obviously forced.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Thank you Pyrrho for reading and commenting on Ocean's Destiny. While I won't be able to use your suggested changes, as most readers enjoyed and commented favorably upon the write, I do certainly always appreciate your time and honesty. :-) Carolyn
Comment from misscookie
Bravo, bravo
I love the artwork that you choose for4 your poem how peaceful it looks,
I remember looking out to the ocean and smiling because I couldn't tell where the sky ended and how it blended with the sea. (smile)
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Bravo, bravo
I love the artwork that you choose for4 your poem how peaceful it looks,
I remember looking out to the ocean and smiling because I couldn't tell where the sky ended and how it blended with the sea. (smile)
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Thanks misscookie, I am so happy you enjoyed Ocean's Destiny. Yes the sea and sky seem to meld into one.
:-) Carolyn
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You're very welcome take care until next time.
Cookie
Comment from colorfree
Beautiful poem. I love the story you weave and picture you paint. I have a few suggestions for you. It could really be mainly my style vs yours but I want to help if I can. Thanks for sharing!
I would suggest changing "and" to "as" in the line "As the waves begin to roll"
How about "where the tides both high and low"
And perhaps remove "And" in the next line.
I also suggest changing "And" to "The" in the line "The sea foams wild and breakers roar"
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Beautiful poem. I love the story you weave and picture you paint. I have a few suggestions for you. It could really be mainly my style vs yours but I want to help if I can. Thanks for sharing!
I would suggest changing "and" to "as" in the line "As the waves begin to roll"
How about "where the tides both high and low"
And perhaps remove "And" in the next line.
I also suggest changing "And" to "The" in the line "The sea foams wild and breakers roar"
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Thank you colorfree for this constructive review. I will take another look at Ocean's Destiny. :-) Carolyn
Comment from royowen
A beautiful tribute and praise to God of love and grace! A great poem about the " master of the storm, " who controls the seas, but the ultimate plan of God to redeem mankind! Nice quatrains with variable rhyming, even meter, well done, Carolyn, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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A beautiful tribute and praise to God of love and grace! A great poem about the " master of the storm, " who controls the seas, but the ultimate plan of God to redeem mankind! Nice quatrains with variable rhyming, even meter, well done, Carolyn, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Thanks Roy, I had hoped you would enjoy this one. Do you and Elaine live close to the ocean, or inland? I know Australia is such a gorgeous place. God is so good. :-) Carolyn
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We are within 20 km. an easy drive to the coast, mostly Australians live close to the coastal rim, great beaches, vast coastline,God has given us a beautiful serene land, politically stable, no wars have ever been fought within our borders, boring history, easy going people, little racial tension, inter marriage, American prophets say revival will start here, maybe....come and visit, Carolyn, blessings, Roy.
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I would love to visit Australia, it has always been a dream. Long before I saw 'Crocodile Dundee' and 'Quigly Down Under.' LOL . What a wonderful commentary on your homeland, no wars on your shores.
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making it more attractive for your upcoming trip!
Comment from Themistoklis
(i thought i introduce myself by rating this with a poem i made up seconds ago for our lovely sister)
i rated this because of truth,
i rated this because it's real'
i rated this because i know
how to recognize a child of the father
i rated this because it is good
i rated this because love is good
i rated this because God is good
but most of all i rated this good because GOD DOES FIRST
EVEN IF I DID NOT LIKE IT IT IS GOD WHO KNOWS BEST
but really i agree i like it as much as GOD does
(c)2014 THEMISTOKLIS KOUTRAS
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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(i thought i introduce myself by rating this with a poem i made up seconds ago for our lovely sister)
i rated this because of truth,
i rated this because it's real'
i rated this because i know
how to recognize a child of the father
i rated this because it is good
i rated this because love is good
i rated this because God is good
but most of all i rated this good because GOD DOES FIRST
EVEN IF I DID NOT LIKE IT IT IS GOD WHO KNOWS BEST
but really i agree i like it as much as GOD does
(c)2014 THEMISTOKLIS KOUTRAS
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Hi there Themistoklis, and what a unique way to comment on and rate Ocean's Destiny. Thank you so much for your 'creative' time. :-) Carolyn
Comment from tgoodrich1016
Very nice poem which paints a beautiful story! I love the ocean, and although I do not live close to it, your poem brought me there. Beautiful picture which matched perfectly with your lovely poetry. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Very nice poem which paints a beautiful story! I love the ocean, and although I do not live close to it, your poem brought me there. Beautiful picture which matched perfectly with your lovely poetry. Best wishes!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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What a lovely review. Thank you so much, I don't live close to the ocean either but I love it's grandeur. :-) Carolyn
Comment from krys123
Carolyn;
I liken enjoyed reading your home very much it was easy to read, well written and easy to understand. You did not vary your change in its topic or concept and the rhyming was done very well.
The running was done so well that it was neither forced nor labored and your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem.
The I found your imagination to be very creative and inventive while your imagery was very descriptive and expressive throughout.
I enjoyed the change in my being that it was of rhyming quatrain to a rhyming couplet quatrain was very inventive.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Carolyn;
I liken enjoyed reading your home very much it was easy to read, well written and easy to understand. You did not vary your change in its topic or concept and the rhyming was done very well.
The running was done so well that it was neither forced nor labored and your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout your poem.
The I found your imagination to be very creative and inventive while your imagery was very descriptive and expressive throughout.
I enjoyed the change in my being that it was of rhyming quatrain to a rhyming couplet quatrain was very inventive.
Thank you so much for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
Comment Written 20-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2014
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Hi there Alex,
I'm so glad you enjoyed Ocean's Destiny. Your comments always encourage me. May all your endeavors be good ones as well.
Love, Carolyn
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You are so sincerely welcome my friend.
Peace and love be with you always
Alex
Comment from prefabmouse
Very well written and it flows very well. The words you chose are eloquent. You really painted a beautiful picture while getting a very important point across. I really like it.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Very well written and it flows very well. The words you chose are eloquent. You really painted a beautiful picture while getting a very important point across. I really like it.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2014
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Thank you my friend for this wonderful review. :-) Carolyn