The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "What must I do to win thy love"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
23 total reviews
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is beautifully written and so gracefully inspiring in its simplicity of form and content. The best part is that we need do nothing since He loves us no matter what. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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This is beautifully written and so gracefully inspiring in its simplicity of form and content. The best part is that we need do nothing since He loves us no matter what. Nicely done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your wonderful comments. : Carolyn
Comment from Nosha17
A lovely spiritual poem in rhyme wherein you are seeking to win the love of the Lord. Well chosen words and rhyming to convey your message. Smooth and enjoyable read, good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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A lovely spiritual poem in rhyme wherein you are seeking to win the love of the Lord. Well chosen words and rhyming to convey your message. Smooth and enjoyable read, good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you Faye, :-) Carolyn
Comment from Cajungirl
This is such a powerful spiritual and beautiful contest entry. Our Father in Heaven would like nothing more than to bring each one of his flock home, All we have to do is accept his love. best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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This is such a powerful spiritual and beautiful contest entry. Our Father in Heaven would like nothing more than to bring each one of his flock home, All we have to do is accept his love. best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, :-) Carolyn
Comment from MizKat
Hi Carolyn,
This is a beautiful poem about how much Jesus loves us. I really enjoyed the read. I'm so glad you put up the Bible verse that goes so well with it too.
Kat
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Hi Carolyn,
This is a beautiful poem about how much Jesus loves us. I really enjoyed the read. I'm so glad you put up the Bible verse that goes so well with it too.
Kat
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you Kat, I am glad you enjoyed it, and the bright stars areHi there an added bonus. :-) Carolyn
Comment from jmdg1954
Carolyn, I don't know how to read the bible, so I am glad you included the passage from John. Your poem was nicely written, I liked the reference- My Fathers house, mansions above because it reminded me of peace and tranquility which I one day hope for.
Nicely done. John
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Carolyn, I don't know how to read the bible, so I am glad you included the passage from John. Your poem was nicely written, I liked the reference- My Fathers house, mansions above because it reminded me of peace and tranquility which I one day hope for.
Nicely done. John
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Hi there John, I am so happy you liked this one and that you read the verse. I hope you are having a great summer,
Love, Carolybn
Comment from The Death
Hi, Carolyn.
It's a very thought-provoking triolet. I like the spiritual theme very much. Is that a psalm you've in your notes? I'm not a Christian, so thought it's better to ask.
The refrain lines are very well-chosen and emphasize on the feelings of eagerness to win His love.
What must I do to win thy love
When mine is freely given thee
Excellent use of soft I assonance in the above lines.
Your shepherd kind, a gentle dove
What must I do to win thy love
You want to have 'your' or 'you are' before 'shepherd'?
If latter is the case, you need to have "you're".
Consistent rhythm, excellent rhyming and meter make this flow well. Nice presentation, too.
Good luck! :)
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Hi, Carolyn.
It's a very thought-provoking triolet. I like the spiritual theme very much. Is that a psalm you've in your notes? I'm not a Christian, so thought it's better to ask.
The refrain lines are very well-chosen and emphasize on the feelings of eagerness to win His love.
What must I do to win thy love
When mine is freely given thee
Excellent use of soft I assonance in the above lines.
Your shepherd kind, a gentle dove
What must I do to win thy love
You want to have 'your' or 'you are' before 'shepherd'?
If latter is the case, you need to have "you're".
Consistent rhythm, excellent rhyming and meter make this flow well. Nice presentation, too.
Good luck! :)
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thanks Anupam for this great review, :-) Carolyn
Comment from royowen
Thank you Carolyn for this beautiful entry in this triolet contest! It is such a precious entry, one of my most favourite scriptures, telling us He is eagerly waiting our appearing, and dwelling in mansions forever, sometimes I can't wait! Eloquently written as usual. The rhyming is clever and interesting, the meter even. I'm falling behind in learning the different forms, well done, blessings, Roy.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you Carolyn for this beautiful entry in this triolet contest! It is such a precious entry, one of my most favourite scriptures, telling us He is eagerly waiting our appearing, and dwelling in mansions forever, sometimes I can't wait! Eloquently written as usual. The rhyming is clever and interesting, the meter even. I'm falling behind in learning the different forms, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you dear Roy for this encouraging review. Love, Carolyn
Comment from Eric1
Hi notesandmore, this is a wonderfully spiritual piece of poetry, a perfect triolet which flows well, your chosen first line is very strong as is your second, I wish you luck my friend.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Hi notesandmore, this is a wonderfully spiritual piece of poetry, a perfect triolet which flows well, your chosen first line is very strong as is your second, I wish you luck my friend.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you Eric1 for the wonderful review and good wishes, Carolyn
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Most welcome Carolyn
Comment from kiwisteveh
A gentle but powerful poem of Christ's love.
here the repetition of the triolet works well to emphasise the key ideas:
What must I do to win thy love
When mine is freely given thee
Good luck.
Steve
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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A gentle but powerful poem of Christ's love.
here the repetition of the triolet works well to emphasise the key ideas:
What must I do to win thy love
When mine is freely given thee
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thanks Steve, I appreciate your comments. Carolyn
Comment from GE Parson
A poem with a message like this has certainly earned a big six rating.
words fail me to express what I feel reading this poem.
We sing a hymn in our church that says something like what you have written "I gave my life for thee, what hath thou given me?"
God bless,
Your Friend,
Jerry
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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A poem with a message like this has certainly earned a big six rating.
words fail me to express what I feel reading this poem.
We sing a hymn in our church that says something like what you have written "I gave my life for thee, what hath thou given me?"
God bless,
Your Friend,
Jerry
Comment Written 01-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2014
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Thank you Jerry, for your comments, the rating and the encouragement.
Love, Carolyn