Comment from Sehrish Maqsood

Excellent

Hello! This chapter is interesting and enjoyable! You have written effectively.All the best and keep going like this!
Regards.
Sehrish.

 Comment Written 23-May-2012

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reply by the author on 24-May-2012

Thanks so much, Sehrish - I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-).

Mike

Comment from Lastamen

Excellent

A compellingly rich character driven rendition. Very creative and thought provoking. The story very effectively holds the reader's attention (although it's a tad long). I'm always intrigued by time travel and historical reference stories and this one does not disappoint. By the way, the line: ". . . this conversation becomes but echoes on the winds of destiny" is one for the ages. Nicely done. Good fortune with the contest.

Till the last amen.

 Comment Written 23-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thanks very much, LA :-). It took me ages to decide exactly how I wanted it to play out, having written the first three scenes and knowing how it was meant to work. It was certainly worth the unusually long investment though. I'm so glad you liked it, and I very much appreciate your taking the time to read it and share your thoughts with me.

I'm glad you picked out that line - it's one of my favourites!

Mike

Comment from guinea

Excellent

I did enjoy reading this piece.It is well written. I was glued to every word. The only thing I found were miss spelled words. The are : realized, patronized,Publicized, realization.

 Comment Written 23-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thank you, Guinea :-). I'm English, so we use far fewer Zs in the UK. I'm glad you enjoyed the read!

Mike

Comment from JackieMcLean

Excellent

I was actually drawn to read this story because I wondered how two different characters in two different times could work in a short strory, but it does! The author's descriptions take you right to the scene and make you part of this story with all of its wonderful twists and turns. A most excellent read and very clever!

 Comment Written 23-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thank you so much, Jackie :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this. It took a lot of time to get the details the way I wanted them, but it was worth it.

Mike

reply by JackieMcLean on 23-May-2012

Hi, I've been reading all day (sinusitis and missing the sunshine) and your story is by far the best thing I've read - really looking forward to reading more of your work. You deserve to get somewhere with this

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

This was a very enjoyable read. The idea of the bench being a conduit worked well and you did manage to keep it in play through out. I guess both Booker and Clem died the same night.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 23-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thanks so much, BD :-). This was a bit of a headache to pull together, finding a way to route the breadcrumb trail for Booker to follow, but I got there after much head scratching and scribbling of strange flow diagrams on scraps of paper! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Mike

reply by barkingdog on 23-May-2012

How is Onneka doing?

reply by the author on 23-May-2012

I've sold 7 copies (one in the US, 6 here in the UK). I did a free promotion for two days and 300 people downloaded it, so hopefully that'll garner some positive reviews! Thank you for asking :-).

Mike

reply by barkingdog on 23-May-2012

Is it self-published?
You should get some reviews with three-hundred downloaded. Kindel I assume. I enjoyed it tremendously. Best of Luck.

reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Yeah, I put it on Kindle. When I can afford some ISBN numbers I'll put it on Barnes, Apple and Sony too. Seems to be the accepted first step towards publication these days.

reply by barkingdog on 23-May-2012

So, you go Kindle first and then go for the ISBN numbers. So much to learn. Is there a resource to learn the steps. I'm afraid somehow I'll loose control of my book through some scam. I want to be safe. Some things look like they want control of it for years. Do you have control of yours. I think of yours as a movie. It'd be awful to loose that right as an author. Are you going to screenplay Onekka?

reply by the author on 23-May-2012

I went to Kindle because they don't require an isbn, but all the other stores do. I've discovered you can buy collections of isbns which works out cheaper.

Kindle has 2 royalty options - 35% or 70%, but on the higher one you lose control of your book. I chose the 35% royalty, which lets me take it down or modify it whenever I want. The key thing is that I am the named publisher, not Amazon. I alsi get to set the price, so I've gone cheap. I need a readership, and I'd rather sell 200 copies at a pound than two at five pounds.

In general, I'd say it gives you more security as the author. Now Onekka by Michael Bell is available for sale, everyone knows it's my work.

I'd love to see it on screen, so I'll have to do an adaptation. You and several others have told me it feels movie-like, so I think that's a good plan.

Comment from SaraSoda

Excellent

Wow, this is pretty exciting. The supernatural elements in it work well. As well, the work is written with a poetic voice so it is a pleasure to read. One thing I didn't get and it was about the main character, is he a cop or a priest? I tried to figure it out, because i thought he was a cop but then he cried about the first murder in the story, but then he says he feels like he is in confession, but he is investigating the murders. Anyhow. It doesn't really matter to the flow, I was just wondering.

 Comment Written 22-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thank you, Sara :-). He's definitely a cop, but a cop who lets things get to him a little more than he probably should. In my head, it's his sensitivity that makes him an effective detective but also a bit of an emotional wreck.

I'm so glad you liked it!

Mike

Comment from rheabug

Exceptional

This presentation is well written and researched. I admire the way you put it all together in a cohesive manner. I loved the setting of the bench and the picture to enhance the story. Blessings, Linda

 Comment Written 22-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thanks so much, Linda :-). It wasn't plain sailing - I spent ages stuck with a beginning and an end, trying to figure out the way to connect them. I'm thrilled you enjoyed the end result!

Mike

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

This is marvelous writing. And it also shows you did some research. Your descriptions of are vivid enough to freak the reader out. A spooky ending. Good luck in the contest. You are one of the top two I have picked as my favorites. I just wrote something up today since I reserved a spot, but it sure doesn't hold a candle to this.

 Comment Written 22-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thank you, Spitfire :-). I'm so happy you liked it. I spent more time than I usually do on a story, but it was definitely worth the extra effort.

Mike

Comment from CHarte

Exceptional

That was a great story. It is really well written and kept me glued right to the very end.

Definitely worth a six. Well done and good luck with the contest.
Collette

 Comment Written 22-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thanks so much, Collette :-). I'm thrilled you enjoyed my story and I think I'll be smiling all day now!

Mike

Comment from Taurean Monkey

Excellent

Gory detail used during the post-mortem (in situ)I like your character Clement Booker and the language used, the suspense in your story is gripping. The twist at the end is unexpected The sequential order, the cohesion, it flows and you engage the reader effortlessly. This is a piece that deserves to win the contest. Well done!

 Comment Written 22-May-2012

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reply by the author on 23-May-2012

Thanks so much, TM :-). It's great to know it makes sense outside my head. I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read!

Mike