Comment from shimmeringlights

Excellent

woah, I am wiping the tears from my eyes and it takes a lot to make me cry. This poem speaks to me on a personal level...my father died when I was 18, he didn't talk to me for three years and he refused to see me when he was dying. I tried...he was very abusive...and I wanted him to forgive me just as much as I wanted to forgive him. But that never happened and I have to live with it for the rest of my life. So I hope with all my heart that the people of whom this poem speaks of can forgive and find absolution before the opportunity is lost forever. Excellently written, grabs the readers heart, great rhyme and flow.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Well I'm glad this reached you shimmeringlights. And that you related to it so well. I'm so sorry it made you cry, and also I'm sorry about the situation with your Dad. Wow. I'm in the middle of similar, and that is where a large part of this poem came from. But, he's not dying (that I know of) mum hasn't died either (that I know of), and it's all just a silly waiting game right now. I've tried to sort things out with them, but stubbornness rules. I'm now at the point where I don't even know if I want them back in my life now as they've shown me nothing but narrow-mindedness and what seems like a need for ME to be the one to take responsibility for the whole sorry mess. Which I can't do as I am not responsible for all of it.

You are right though. Opportunities are lost forever, but if one side of the argument is un-moving and not prepared to bend, then what does the other side do?

Anyway, your comments sure sparked these ones of mine. For that I am grateful! I am also very grateful and appreciative of your review. I'm glad you enjoyed this poem for its mechanics as well as its message. Bless you and I hope you have found peace with your situation, as hard as it would be on you xoxoxoxxoxo

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

apalcalady, this is one of the most gut wrenching poems I have ever read. Pure raw emotion. Regrets that kill the soul more than cancer kills the body. Seeking forgiveness in a time of despair and uncertainty is even more heartbreaking. What keeps we prideful human beings from seeking forgiveness from the hearts of our lives? Perhaps pride. Perhaps embarrassment. Perhaps a fear of losing control, or losing face. Is this poem from personal experience? You have said it so insightfully and eloquent. best wishes on the contest..thank you for sharing. jlsavell

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Your review is gut-wrenching jlsavell. And to some degree, this is from personal experience. Haven't reached quite the "depths of despair" the poem paints, but still I wonder where it'll go.

Thank you so much for your comments, and your concern. Sometimes life deals out the shite and we simply need to deal with it the best way we can. And yes, pride is a huge part of why apologies are not always offered. Again, thank you for this review that brought a tear to my own eye! xoxoxoxoxxoxo

Comment from Veronica Grace

Excellent

Yeah, this is sad and sure to be a tough contender in the contest. Good luck. I love the story inside here although it makes me sad. Well chosen words, good rhythm and pace a perfection in poetry you hve created. Veronica Grace.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Thank you so much Veronica. The word "perfection" sure does cause some cranial swelling I have to say!

Your words, thoughts and comments are very much appreciated xoxoxoxo

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

putting one's house in order is very straining on the nerves. Letting your true feelings come out is easier, but words are not forthcoming as to how you really feel. Good smooth read with good descriptive scheme and imagery.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

No, we don't always say how or what we truly feel. It's a sad trait of human failing, I confess to being guilty of it, but I'm sure we all are, or have been, at one time or another. I'm glad you enjoyed this one, and appreciate your comments and rating very much xoxoxoxoxo

reply by c_lucas on 17-Jul-2008

You are welcome.

Comment from Sue-z-Q

Excellent

Hi alpacalady:
This contest requires sad poems and this one is truly sad.
It's very well written however, so I commend you for that and wish you lots of luck in the contest.
Sue-z-Q

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Thank you Sue-z-Q (is Ms Quatro a relative, close friend, or idol? She was great I reckon!)

Thanks so much for your comments and rating. I sure hope this is "sad", as otherwise I'll have to write something else for the contest, or completely bow out! Again, I appreciate your review very much! xoxoxoxo

Comment from kassey

Excellent

I think that is one of the most heart wrenching poemms I have ever read. I can only hope it is not your real life. The rhyme and rhythm are perfect the poem comes from inside your soul.
Excellent work Kay

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Thank you so very much Kay. Your words are a comfort and bring a tiny tear to my eye to say the least. To a degree, yes, this poem is sadly about my own life. Not all of it is though! Maybe one day, absolution will be found for all involved.

Thank you again for such a sincere and sensitive review my friend. Your sincerity is always appreciated very much xoxoxoxo

Comment from Thayamax

Excellent

This is definitely a sad poem befitting the contest. The rhythm and rhymes are excellent, and the story is an all too common occurence in families.

It's a shame how some families have a falling out and let it continue for so many years. Holding grudges cause the loss of so much time that can't be made up. You never know when it'll be too late. Well done and good luck in the contest.

Thaya

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Thanks so much Thaya. It's true, things like this do happen all too often in families. And often in those families where you'd never expect such conflicts. And you're right - one never knows when it may be too late.

Thank you so much for this excellent review, and your good luck wishes, they're very much appreciated xoxoxxoo

Comment from AbigailDavid

Excellent

Hello, lovely rhythm in your works. The ones I have read to date, have that trademark meter. I think you meet the criteria for the competition perfectly with this poetic offering.

Thanks for sharing it, Abby

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

Thanks so much Abby. This is a very encouraging review from someone whose work I admire and respect. I'm glad you enjoyed this one enough to read and review xoxoxoxxoxo

Comment from amadan01

Excellent

This is very touching. I almost had to stop reading it in the beginning. My mom passed a few years ago and it is still hard for me and my brothers, and harder still for my dad. And he and I don't talk much, not because of a breach but because he has always been a man of few words, though one time he did write me a letter about feelings. Anyway, I did not mean to go off on my own thing. I found this poem to indeed be sad, but I have to keep alive a little glimmer of hope that the two will find their way. The rhyming works perfectly and the images say so much that is hard to say.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2008

amadan01,
I hope the two find their way also. But not where one lays down in complete acquiesence while the other gloats with victory which can sometimes, sadly, happen.

Your review gave me pause to say the least. So sorry was I to hear about your mother, but sorrier still to hear how hard it is for all of you left behind. Men who say little are often the ones who suffer the most as they are unable to express it. At least your Dad did get some of those feelings out in his letter. I hope that you are coming to grips with this sad situation yourself, that you're coping, and that your brothers and you are providing the necessary support to each other during this time. I want to apologise if this poem opened a raw wound for you. While we poets try to "move" people with what we write, it is not my intention (nor that of most writers) to cause someone unnecessary pain.

From me to you, not only do I thank you for this wonderful review, I also want to say that my thoughts are with you all. I truly hope that with time, you are all able to find peace and acceptance, so that you can feel the sunshine again. Blessings to you amadan01 nd to the remaining members of your family xoxoxoxxoxoo

Comment from mmichelle97219

Excellent

For me this is a sad widower who is reaching out to a child who left due to a bad falling out. You get my vote this is one of the best enteries yet.
Michelle

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2008

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reply by the author on 16-Jul-2008

Thanks so much Michelle. And you're right; that's exactly what this is about. Actually, it has some relevance to the situation with my own father, but only to a degree. He's not dying, and my mother is still alive and kicking, at least as far as I know.

Thanks for your review and thoughts. It always makes me feel good when someone gets what I'm saying, especially when they're a friend xoxoxoxoxxoo