Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Willing Hearts Chapter 8"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
31 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
This is a beautifully written chapter in your book, and I enjoyed very much listening to it your sentence structure, your paragraphing, and your presentation is all very well done. May you have a very blessed week and may you have a good day. Patricia .
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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This is a beautifully written chapter in your book, and I enjoyed very much listening to it your sentence structure, your paragraphing, and your presentation is all very well done. May you have a very blessed week and may you have a good day. Patricia .
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the encouraging support.
Comment from estory
Some of Sami's vulnerabilities come through in this interchange with Noah, she needs someone to keep her safe and calm when those critters come calling. He seems more than willing to help out. But you're also building some more suspense as they stumble on Chen's plan to raid the teen dance at the church. There's a possibility for some good action coming up. estory
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Some of Sami's vulnerabilities come through in this interchange with Noah, she needs someone to keep her safe and calm when those critters come calling. He seems more than willing to help out. But you're also building some more suspense as they stumble on Chen's plan to raid the teen dance at the church. There's a possibility for some good action coming up. estory
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacob1395
I can see that the chemistry between Noah and Sami is beginning to grow and I do hope that Sami continues to grow to trust him. I love how you manage to create a spark between your characters that keeps us invested in them. Another excellent chapter Barbara.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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I can see that the chemistry between Noah and Sami is beginning to grow and I do hope that Sami continues to grow to trust him. I love how you manage to create a spark between your characters that keeps us invested in them. Another excellent chapter Barbara.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Again, thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This chapter is building momentum beautifully and Noah is intent to stay ahead of the game and keep Sami safe. He's also fraught with conflicting feelings as the relationship, despite their best intentions, is getting increasingly closer. I'm glad you explained BDSM. I got the second initials of the acronym but was feeling very naive for a moment. Excellent dialogue, building character and tension.
"It scaring you seems reasonable" sound a bit awkward.
Well done, Barbara. Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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This chapter is building momentum beautifully and Noah is intent to stay ahead of the game and keep Sami safe. He's also fraught with conflicting feelings as the relationship, despite their best intentions, is getting increasingly closer. I'm glad you explained BDSM. I got the second initials of the acronym but was feeling very naive for a moment. Excellent dialogue, building character and tension.
"It scaring you seems reasonable" sound a bit awkward.
Well done, Barbara. Debbie
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. Will check that sentence out.
Comment from T B Botts
Hi Barbara,
this is an interesting twist with the robberies happening at the same time other crime of a serious nature is taking place. I'm wondering if they are inter-connected somehow. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Blessings,
Tom
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Hi Barbara,
this is an interesting twist with the robberies happening at the same time other crime of a serious nature is taking place. I'm wondering if they are inter-connected somehow. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Blessings,
Tom
Comment Written 08-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. Nothing ever happens in a vacuum.
Comment from DeboraDyess
Hi, Barbara~
I realize I'm coming to this dance a bit late but enjoyed the post. If time permits, I'm going back to catch up. Here's hoping...
A couple of things, if I may ~
~ front of Sarah's door hand poised >> front of Sarah's door(,) hand poised
~ The zoom meeting wasn't inside? I guess I just assumed, when they said something about lights on in the house and then the zoom call, that it was indoors.
~Reaching for her hand, but stopped, Noah said >> This reads rather awkwardly. You might consider rewording.
~Bob eyes met Noah's. >> Bob('s) eyes met Noah's.
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~ When Bob asked Noah for advice on going to the store, I kind of thought he was a newbie. I didn't realize until the character list that he was actually part of the team. You might consider making him sound less inexperienced at that point.
All in all, a great story! And I LOVE Great Danes. lol You're tackling a hard topic. Kudos!
Blessings,
Deb
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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Hi, Barbara~
I realize I'm coming to this dance a bit late but enjoyed the post. If time permits, I'm going back to catch up. Here's hoping...
A couple of things, if I may ~
~ front of Sarah's door hand poised >> front of Sarah's door(,) hand poised
~ The zoom meeting wasn't inside? I guess I just assumed, when they said something about lights on in the house and then the zoom call, that it was indoors.
~Reaching for her hand, but stopped, Noah said >> This reads rather awkwardly. You might consider rewording.
~Bob eyes met Noah's. >> Bob('s) eyes met Noah's.
~~
~ When Bob asked Noah for advice on going to the store, I kind of thought he was a newbie. I didn't realize until the character list that he was actually part of the team. You might consider making him sound less inexperienced at that point.
All in all, a great story! And I LOVE Great Danes. lol You're tackling a hard topic. Kudos!
Blessings,
Deb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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The zoom meeting was inside the cabin, they left the cabin to go inside the house to eat. Thank you for the suggestions. If you'd read from the beginning, you'd know Bob wasn't new at his job. I have reread the areas you pointed out and made the necessary changes. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it.
Comment from lyenochka
It's nice to see Sami and Noah getting along better. It's also good that Sami was able to help because of her knowledge of the networking between the teenage girls. Hopefully, the teen dance will be quickly canceled and those attempting to kidnap the girls will be caught.
It seems Noah not only shakes his head like another protagonist, but he also runs his fingers through his hair. ð???
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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It's nice to see Sami and Noah getting along better. It's also good that Sami was able to help because of her knowledge of the networking between the teenage girls. Hopefully, the teen dance will be quickly canceled and those attempting to kidnap the girls will be caught.
It seems Noah not only shakes his head like another protagonist, but he also runs his fingers through his hair. ð???
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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You're probably right. I'll look at that.
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I don't think you need to look at it. It's just how your male characters are. Very thoughtful and loving.
Comment from Wendy G
An engrossing chapter with a good development of the theme. I noticed one place you used "too" instead of "to", but sorry I can't find it now! An excellent chapter in every way.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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An engrossing chapter with a good development of the theme. I noticed one place you used "too" instead of "to", but sorry I can't find it now! An excellent chapter in every way.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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I'll recheck my to's. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Paul McFarland
You put a great deal of anxiety in most of your chapters, Barb. I still get the feeling that Sami is over sensitive. I'm sure that you will hook her up with Noah sooner or later.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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You put a great deal of anxiety in most of your chapters, Barb. I still get the feeling that Sami is over sensitive. I'm sure that you will hook her up with Noah sooner or later.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. I'll keep an eye on Sami.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting part of the story. Noah even seems to be beginning to trust Sami enough that he can talk to her about himself. They come up with a good idea of how to save the girls at the church. Hopefully everyone will get the message, although it will be obvious to the bad guys that someone has learned of their plans and reported on them.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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This is an interesting part of the story. Noah even seems to be beginning to trust Sami enough that he can talk to her about himself. They come up with a good idea of how to save the girls at the church. Hopefully everyone will get the message, although it will be obvious to the bad guys that someone has learned of their plans and reported on them.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.