Jonathan's Story
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The good and the bad ..."Our fostering journey with a severely disabled boy
29 total reviews
Comment from karenina
The most distressing thing about this is that the very Social Workers you relied on for a truthful history blatantly ommited the very thing you stressed was most important! (A child with good sleep habits)--
Plus the "support" promised was fairly well non-existent AND "they" admitted to not disclosing this because they wanted Jonathan to go to a good family.
No. They wanted to PLACE him. I have seen this many times and as an RN.
I've seen many a defeated family "return" their foster child because of all of the above.
The pattern continues.
Clearly, I am certain you found a solution....I can't wait to see what you came up with.
Knowing how inventive you were as a teacher tells me despite disappointment and total fatigue....
Wendy found a way!
Thank you so much for sharing. Bless you and Jonathan!
A match blessed by God!
Karenina
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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The most distressing thing about this is that the very Social Workers you relied on for a truthful history blatantly ommited the very thing you stressed was most important! (A child with good sleep habits)--
Plus the "support" promised was fairly well non-existent AND "they" admitted to not disclosing this because they wanted Jonathan to go to a good family.
No. They wanted to PLACE him. I have seen this many times and as an RN.
I've seen many a defeated family "return" their foster child because of all of the above.
The pattern continues.
Clearly, I am certain you found a solution....I can't wait to see what you came up with.
Knowing how inventive you were as a teacher tells me despite disappointment and total fatigue....
Wendy found a way!
Thank you so much for sharing. Bless you and Jonathan!
A match blessed by God!
Karenina
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much Karenina. You understand the system perfectly. I was probably too naive and too idealistic, trusting people too much and being frequently let down. Yes, I found a way, eventually. I hope you'll keep reading to find out how!
Thank you so much for the six stars. I can't express how much they mean to me.
Wendy
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You couldn't shake me loose if you tried!
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Lol. Oh that's wonderful.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Wendy,
as I was reading this, I could see the battle you were going through, wanting to do what was right for this boy, but at what cost? Your first responsibility as I see it was to your husband and children. It's obvious that you are a good mother and you certainly want to do what is right, but at what point are you allowed to say enough is enough. It's terrible that the social services people weren't upright with you. No doubt they were glad to have someone take him off their hands, as terrible as that sounds. Thanks for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Hello Wendy,
as I was reading this, I could see the battle you were going through, wanting to do what was right for this boy, but at what cost? Your first responsibility as I see it was to your husband and children. It's obvious that you are a good mother and you certainly want to do what is right, but at what point are you allowed to say enough is enough. It's terrible that the social services people weren't upright with you. No doubt they were glad to have someone take him off their hands, as terrible as that sounds. Thanks for sharing this gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 17-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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You are spot-on. It was turmoil for me, but the children still loved him and wanted to keep him, and so did I. I probably could have sent him back, but I always felt that this was God's calling for me. I needed His strength and He supplied what I needed, but it was still a very hard road. Thanks so much for your insightful review.
Wendy
Comment from lyenochka
I really liked how you retold this. I remember of your previous telling how run ragged you were without sleep for so long. But in this, you gave us his happy laughter during the day and then the maniacal laughter at night. It was a great way to connect to him as a happy child normally but that bizarre behavior at night. I wonder if the Coca-Cola's caffeine helped him sleep much as the hyper-making Ritalin drug made ADHD patients calm down. Anyway, it's wonderful that your whole family stuck it out and gain so much spiritual strength and gifts from this experience raising Jonathon.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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I really liked how you retold this. I remember of your previous telling how run ragged you were without sleep for so long. But in this, you gave us his happy laughter during the day and then the maniacal laughter at night. It was a great way to connect to him as a happy child normally but that bizarre behavior at night. I wonder if the Coca-Cola's caffeine helped him sleep much as the hyper-making Ritalin drug made ADHD patients calm down. Anyway, it's wonderful that your whole family stuck it out and gain so much spiritual strength and gifts from this experience raising Jonathon.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much Helen. No, the Coca-Cola never helped him to sleep. The caregivers at the respite centre did not worry however, as it gave them something to do, setting him up to watch TV with them.
I greatly appreciate that you still reviewed even though you knew this bit. I thought a contrast between the types of laughter might be helpful.
Wendy
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It was really helpful!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You're the Down Under's version of Annie Sullivan. I always thought I was a patient person, I am complete and total Amateur Hour compared to you. You're Mount Fuji; I'm Hill Cumorah.
I am so intrigued by every chapter you've written, Wendy; GREAT reading! Can't wait for the next installment!! xo
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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You're the Down Under's version of Annie Sullivan. I always thought I was a patient person, I am complete and total Amateur Hour compared to you. You're Mount Fuji; I'm Hill Cumorah.
I am so intrigued by every chapter you've written, Wendy; GREAT reading! Can't wait for the next installment!! xo
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2024
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Thank you Rachelle. A wonderful review. I wouldn't elevate myself to the status of Annie Sullivan, however. I hope you'll continue to follow and enjoy the coming chapters, and the various unfolding dramas.
Wendy
Wendy
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You will have to do a hateful thing. During the day, you give him caffeinated drinks starting at whatever time your other kids get up. He gets a cold wash up.
Give vitimans at midday when he starts to get sleepy.
Keep him cool during the day slightly uncomfortable.
Maybe remove one shoe to irritate him some. Then 4 hours before bedtime, no more caffeine. Warmer atmosphere and warming blankets and warm baths after supper. Soothing music or sounds in his room. And get extra help. Ask for volunteers at church, advertize in the paper or internet. He is like a little baby. You must talk to him, and let him know that he must learn how to sleep at night, just like your other children learned. As long as he has all your attention why should he change his behavior? He needs to learn how to self soothe, and you must learn how to sleep at night in spite of his noise. How about hypnosis?:-)n Karen
You are getting sleepy. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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You will have to do a hateful thing. During the day, you give him caffeinated drinks starting at whatever time your other kids get up. He gets a cold wash up.
Give vitimans at midday when he starts to get sleepy.
Keep him cool during the day slightly uncomfortable.
Maybe remove one shoe to irritate him some. Then 4 hours before bedtime, no more caffeine. Warmer atmosphere and warming blankets and warm baths after supper. Soothing music or sounds in his room. And get extra help. Ask for volunteers at church, advertize in the paper or internet. He is like a little baby. You must talk to him, and let him know that he must learn how to sleep at night, just like your other children learned. As long as he has all your attention why should he change his behavior? He needs to learn how to self soothe, and you must learn how to sleep at night in spite of his noise. How about hypnosis?:-)n Karen
You are getting sleepy. Karen :-)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Lol. Thank you for the suggestions. In Australia with out heat, he would hate warming blankets, and he had to have his bath before dinner (or he would be likely to throw up as he had reflux). Absolutely no caffeine for a child. Telling him he had to learn to sleep at night? I might as well have talked to a brick wall. Don't worry, I found a solution, but I never babied him, he was nine years old and I spoke to him as such. The next chapter will explain! Thanks so much for reviewing. I appreciate your thoughts.
Wendy
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Well, that was everything I could think of. And, I will certainly keep reading dear heart. Karen
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Thank you so much Karen. And I do appreciate all your thoughts. It seemed an impossible task, compounded by his disabilities. But please keep reading!
Wendy
Comment from Spitfire
Your own reactions come across stronger in this. Did his laughter cause you strong headaches though? I would have cried many a night at his inability to sleep. In fact, I did just that when babysitting my four nephews one time (I was nineteen) and the baby wouldn't stop!
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Your own reactions come across stronger in this. Did his laughter cause you strong headaches though? I would have cried many a night at his inability to sleep. In fact, I did just that when babysitting my four nephews one time (I was nineteen) and the baby wouldn't stop!
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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I am not headache prone so it was more just complete exhaustion. I don't cry either, or very rarely. I've alwys had to be the "strong" one. Many thanks for the six stars. I greatly appreciate each precious one.
Wendy
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"Why had no one had told me"? The second had appears redundant and unnecessary.
You probably resolved this matter, but, disabled or not, this much interruption would not be tolerated by most people.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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"Why had no one had told me"? The second had appears redundant and unnecessary.
You probably resolved this matter, but, disabled or not, this much interruption would not be tolerated by most people.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much Brett. I appreciate the catch.
Wendy
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, you had the days pretty much worked out, but at some point you all were going to need to sleep at night. I'm anxious to find out how all this worked out. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Well, you had the days pretty much worked out, but at some point you all were going to need to sleep at night. I'm anxious to find out how all this worked out. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Thanks so much Ric. My unorthodox solution (which would probably not be approved - but then I was the one who had to cope) comes out in the next chapter! I appreciate your review a lot, and hope you will continue to read.
Wendy
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I understand your frustration. I am one of those people who absolutely need my sleep, or I don't function the following day. I know you're creative and figured out a solution to this problem. Thank you for sharing.
This was wild-eyed, desperate, out-of-control, crazed laughing. (I read this as laughter, not laughing, maybe it's just me.)
My son Joe could not get to sleep or stay asleep with the noise. (comma after 'son', some would also say one after 'Joe', it's up to you.)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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I understand your frustration. I am one of those people who absolutely need my sleep, or I don't function the following day. I know you're creative and figured out a solution to this problem. Thank you for sharing.
This was wild-eyed, desperate, out-of-control, crazed laughing. (I read this as laughter, not laughing, maybe it's just me.)
My son Joe could not get to sleep or stay asleep with the noise. (comma after 'son', some would also say one after 'Joe', it's up to you.)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Thank you Barbara for your pick-ups and suggestions. You are right and I will make the adjustments. I appreciate your review a lot.
Wendy
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
As difficult as this is to understand, I can only imagine the nightly trauma that was yours to experience. Your are not only a gifted writer, you're a compassionate person.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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As difficult as this is to understand, I can only imagine the nightly trauma that was yours to experience. Your are not only a gifted writer, you're a compassionate person.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2024
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Thank you very much Verna. I appreciate your words greatly. Unfortunately a lot worse was to come.
Wendy